We’re past the halfway mark. I have to confess, I have fantasized and edged a bit along the way. I look at it as taking hits. There’s no way I was gonna go through this battle unscathed. But I’ll do better from here on out.
Right now, it takes a lot of determination and conscious deliberation with myself to do nofap. I hope in the near future, no PMO comes as second nature to me and not something that I have to consciously and actively do.
I’m on a 20 day streak and I am already noticing some benefits. I fall asleep on time, started going to the gym and generally feel more virile. I’m not saying this is some sort of miracle of nofap but just a natural consequence of not being exhausted from doing the most useless activity in the world - PMO.
One thing that requires my immediate attention is improving my focus/concentration. I’ve been lacking a lot when it comes to prolonged mental work. That has to change now.
I’m on day 86, but I’m not proud of how I’ve spent my time. Yes, I’ve quit engaging in PMO, but not a lot has changed besides that. Honestly all I have been doing is counting days and maybe using this forum as an excuse to continue living my life looking at screens and not taking action in my real life. Slowly, I’m slipping back to my old behaviour: I spent last night and the night before watching movies that basically had soft-core p*** in them (peeking by another name). I feel disappointed in myself for doing that, and I’m going to distance myself from anything sexual for the remainder of NNN. From now on I will be serious about using my time on constructive activities.
I know I’m free from this PMO. Alhamdulillah. I’m free because I fell in love with the prettiest girl in the world. I proposed. Her parents agreed. We are engaged. Soon we will do Nikkah.
It was a good run. I know I would’ve made it through this day if my Gym was open on Sundays. But who am I kidding with these excuses. If I was determined enough, I would’ve made it through regardless.
Judging by how I spent the last few days, anyone would’ve predicted that the end of my run was close. You know how the saying goes, “Don’t count the days. Make the days count”. Well, counting days is all I was doing these last couple of days.
Day 18: I Messed Up, But I’m Starting Again
I lost it today. Work stress has been piling up, and I haven’t been productive lately. Honestly, I saw this coming, it felt like a compromise waiting to happen. I gave in, and yeah, it sucks. But this doesn’t define me. Starting again today, I’m determined to find better ways to manage my stress and unproductive days without letting them push me into giving up like this.
Here’s what I’ve realized - it’s not about reaching a certain streak. You might go 300 days without giving in and still suck at life. That’s the bitter truth. If you don’t learn to use this energy the right way, you’ll eventually find yourself crawling back to old patterns. Over these last 17 or 20 days in total, I didn’t become some superhuman or anything. But I did notice a difference. My thoughts became clearer, my judgment improved, and my focus on certain things was sharper.
There was another reason apart from PMO that pushed me forward, it was the built-up anger stemming from my current life situation, where everything feels unfair. But I’m trying to shift my perspective, to see the positives and use this as a chance to reflect and grow. That inner battle has been my strength, giving me the drive to challenge myself.
Now, my main focus is shifting from instant gratification to delayed gratification. It’s not easy, and it will take time, but it’s far from impossible. This is the real task: learning to control your mind instead of letting it control you. Don’t let guilt weigh you down. Instead, find ways to channel this energy into something meaningful. It’s not a curse; it’s a gift we often take for granted. If used wisely, it has the power to fuel us toward something truly greater.
I commend you for your resilience and determination to quit this addiction. You are so right, being on a high streak doesn’t matter as much as using the extra time and energy to make real changes in our lives. I believe you are on your way to achieving your goals, even if it doesn’t seem that way to you right now. The progress you made is not lost. Maintain you faith and keep fighting!
Soon we will do Nikkah.
