It is a relapse.
Yes I failed yet another time.
God.
It’s not easy.
Reason for failure.
Withdrawals that I could not handle. And had urges at the same time.
The relapse seems to release the withdrawal symptoms which the addiction itself created.
God, everything makes sense logically to me.
But only after relapse.
Realization. I do need instant ways to change mood. So that I do not feel the need to be drawn to this cycle.
I don’t know what to say… I will keep trying.
For me the high of masturbation is a bigger concern than just watching porn.
However the problem is I need to stay in my room for work…
I am gonna go ahead and read my own diary.
The only way through is to SUFFER.
6 Year NoFap & Quitting Porn Journey | Secret To Handling Urges - YouTube
I quickly skimmed through my diary.
I have relapsed. But I have the POTENTIAL to be an AKHAND BRAHMACHARI.
I know I am acting like a pussy since several months now.
But I am the same person who committed and managed to get a 76 day streak on this forum, 145 days all alone (with 0 accountability), 90 day alone (with 0 accountability and no creative outlet) and multiple 30-60 day streaks.
Yes, I relapsed. Yes I am hooked on to this shit.
But in every single one of my long streaks, I made a CLEAR DECISION that I WOULD NOT RELAPSE and I WAS WILLING TO SUFFER.
It is only because I have been trying to be soft that I am in this vicious cycle.
The only way through is to SUFFER.
The only way through is to SUFFER.
And now I am not gonna settle for anything less than GREATNESS.
I know SUFFERING is ahead of me.
I have to go through immense PAIN now.
BUT I WILL NOT CONSUME INTERNET and every time I have an urge I will first sit down and MEDITATE.
If that does not help, I will go outside. If I feel it again, I will do WIM HOF, otherwise WIM HOF.
Another reason for my relapses is not EXERCISING.
I have tried EasyPeasy, Brainwashing shit, rewiring myself, accountability, escaping it. EVERYTHING.
But I just need to FULLY OBSERVE my PAIN AND SUFFER. It is the only thing. This is what @Tagore lives by. Suffering is beautiful. And is the only way.
Here is my last relapse. I WILL NOT RELAPSE.
I am finally ready to SUFFER and BURN again.
I MAKE A COMMITMENT TO NEVER EVER RELAPSE IN MY LIFE, NO MATTER THE BRAIN FOG, NO MATTER HOW BAD OF A DEPRESSION I GET, NO MATTER HOW MUCH PAIN IT BRINGS.
I am going to burn myself till Greatness rises out of my ashes. I NEED TO DIE. Not physically. But psychologically.
Let’s suffer together.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A COMMITMENT TO NOT WATCH PORN, MASTURBATE, OR TOUCH MYSELF FOR ORGASM for the REST OF MY LIFE, NO MATTER HOW BAD THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS GET OR NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A COMMITMENT TO NEVER CONSUME SOCIAL MEDIA (FB, INSTA, WHATSAPP) FOR ENTERTAINMENT but RATHER STRICTLY FOR WORK.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A COMMITMENT TO NOT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN GREATNESS IN THIS LIFETIME.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A COMMITMENT TO MAKE THIS PLEDGE ON THIS FORUM EVERY SINGLE DAY TILL ATLEAST 1st JANUARY 2024 AND AFTER THAT TILL I DO NOT NEED IT ANYMORE, IF NEED BE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
Can you count how many times you said it ?
It’s not your last relpase. You’re next relapse will be within a week .
If you have guts prove me wrong.
I HAVE GUTS and I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG.
I AM THE GREATEST.
I challenge you OPENLY. Because THIS TIME I AM GOING HARD !
What is your STREAK ?
I challenge @Tagore @_TIGER @Dean_Ambrose and everyone for an AKHAND 1 YEAR CHALLENGE ! I will die but NOT FAP.
6 Year NoFap & Quitting Porn Journey | Secret To Handling Urges - YouTube
Thanks Tagore for sharing this. This is the ONLY WAY. After trying absolutely EVERYTHING.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A COMMITMENT TO NOT WATCH PORN, MASTURBATE, OR TOUCH MYSELF FOR ORGASM for the REST OF MY LIFE, NO MATTER HOW BAD THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS GET OR NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A COMMITMENT TO NEVER CONSUME SOCIAL MEDIA (FB, INSTA, WHATSAPP) FOR ENTERTAINMENT but RATHER STRICTLY FOR WORK.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A COMMITMENT TO NOT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN GREATNESS IN THIS LIFETIME.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A COMMITMENT TO MAKE THIS PLEDGE ON THIS FORUM EVERY SINGLE DAY TILL ATLEAST 1st JANUARY 2024 AND AFTER THAT TILL I DO NOT NEED IT ANYMORE, IF NEED BE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
Correct 100%. Bro !!!
Challenge accepted. I am gonna prove you guys wrong. 
Don’t forget that I AM THE GREATEST !!!
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A SERIOUS AND PUBLIC COMMITMENT TO NEVER WATCH PORN, MASTURBATE, OR TOUCH MYSELF FOR ORGASM for the rest of my life, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS AND HOW BAD THE WITHDRAWALS GET. I AM GONNA SUFFER AND DIE THAN RELAPSE NOW.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A FULL COMMITMENT TO NEVER CONSUME SOCIAL MEDIA FOR ENTERTAINMENT BUT RATHER STRICTLY FOR WORK.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A COMMITMENT TO NEVER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN EXTREME GREATNESS IN MY LIFE. I AM THE NEXT NIKOLA TESLA.
I TheFinalFrontier MAKE A COMMITMENT TO MAKE THIS PLEDGE ON THIS FORUM EVERY SINGLE DAY TILL ATLEAST 1sT JANUARY 2024 AND AFTER THAT TILL I DO NOT NEED IT ANY LONGER.
I AM THE GREATEST AND YOU ALL WILL SEE IT THIS TIME.
I did
But it really didn’t work out
You’re right to say that this wouldn’t help in the long run. We sometimes have too much expectations from them and it can lead to disappointments. These people don’t have any kind of magic. Only you can lift yourself up from your situation. I went beyond the app and I have the contact info. I don’t talk to the person anymore but you can try it out.
My therapist charged me 1000 for a month. And as I went out dissatisfied after a week I got a full refund too. I believe my therapist is a good person even if we had conflicts. You should go and see. I can provide you the contact number. Let me know whatever works for you.
Bro, wanna challenge me? I’m a guy who likes to gamble, so I wanna raise the stakes a bit. Remember you promised to post your picture here if you relapse but you never did coz you wimped out of it, yea I want that. Whoever relapses first will lose and will post their picture here! What say? You game?
Bro, if this is another false promise then we are not in the battle. You have said this millions times in your diary now. But you were never 100% committed. Words don’t mean shit bro.
First take small steps, make the challenge for 90 days first. Then 180, then 365.
What is the use of saying this?
Instead tell the truth that iam one of the most fucked up in the forum right now. Then grow from it.
This is the only way bro but you have to really suffer, go through anything like Jesus on the cross or whatever and get to the other side. Like all the past times, if you are planning to give up in between then there is no use bro.
Can you beat us? We have lost most of our faith in you due to your past behaviour. Can you restore it?
We are ready! But if you give up in between this time then we’ll loose all our faith you. Start the battle only if you are really ready. If you can hear the voice from deep within thats says: “whatever happens like Succeeed, I may die but not fap”
If you can hear that voice from deep within then start the battle!
We are not here to play games bro. This is our life and nofap is not a game. It is a do or die battle for our life. Fapping is not something we do for enjoyment. At the core it is way of expressing self hatred; we hate the fucked up direction in which our life is going. If you are ready to make a change of 360% angle only you can succeed in this. You have to give up solo sexual pleasure forever.
Are you really ready for it? Or is this just words like before?