The greatest ever- The final frontier's diary

Diary
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TheFinalFrontier Begins for the last time.

10th September 2020 - 1ST January 2024 (After this I will just be allowing myself to have sex with a partner WITHOUT EJACULATION if I find someone. If I don’t I will continue to be a sexy celibate.)

You will not see any post from me from now on. I am not an addict anymore and I do not associate myself with addicts. Sorry NoFappers. I am free already. You choose what you want to believe for yourself. I believe I am free and not an addict anymore. @Tagore this is my new identity. I am a celibate. I am not an addict. I was an addict. But not any longer.
-----COMPLETE TRANSFORMATION COMING-----

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No, fake it till you become it :wink:.

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All the best for your Journey man, if you need any help you can and text us. There is something very powerful when we are around people who believe in what we believe and on the same path Even though on social media.
Keep going, all i suggest to you is read atomic habits, there are some very important things we all need to know to finally succeed, in that book. Above all, Remember we don’t have time anymore, COMMIT 100%. Being average is not an option anymore, push limits and grow every single day.

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I RELAPSED. AGAIN.

There is this loop that I am drawn into. Just one peak can cause such a vicious cycle guys. I relapsed. The computer is my trigger. But at this stage, I cannot avoid the computer. My side hustle and my work both require me to be alone with the computer. I cannot live life running away from this. I have to learn to live with this. I have to learn to say NO.

I am helpless guys. I was just putting myself down and was hard on myself after this relapse because I have not been a man of my words which is true. And in fact I have been a disgrace to this community. True.

But I asked myself. How would my 2023 version react to a relapse ? Would he continuously ask the question WHY ? WHY DID YOU relapse and get lost in the cycle till he is so negative that he relapses again? No. The 2023 self will be a leader. a true leader. What does a leader do when one of his employees makes the same mistake again ? Does he call him a loser ? Or a worthless being ? I have worked under leaders in companies. People who had this mindset were always hated. Nobody wanted to work for them. They were bad leaders. I have been a bad leader towards myself. A good leader would see his good employee making the same mistake again and again and realize that something is wrong with him. Normally he is such an ambitious person and always doing good work but for some time he hasn’t been able to perform. He wouldn’t scold him. Because he wants to do good. But he cannot because of some reasons the boss cannot know. He would just talk to him with empathy and try to understand his situation and encourage him to get out of the rut. He would remind him his WHYs. he would ask him to give his best or even take a break if he needs so. But he would say that he is ALWAYS there on his side and he would CARE for him UNCONDITIONALLY.

I have been a horrible boss towards myself. That’s why I got big streaks but was super hard on myself. A good boss would push his employees to work harder, yes. But more than that he would care for his people. I dont care for myself. I am like, “NO YOU WILL NEVER RELAPSE. NO ! YOU DO THIS NOW BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT. NO PLEASURE. NO YOUTUBE. NO INSTAGRAM. NO GAMES. NO MUSIC.” This is the mindset of a dictator.

I HAVE BEEN A DICTATOR TO MYSELF.

Yes I have made a mistake. THE SAME MISTAKE A MILLION TIMES. MAYBE I AM A FOOL. But the truth is that this addiction is not easy. And I understand and love myself for trying. I am hopeful that one day I will be free. But I want to do so without the accountability of this group. I want to be self reliant. IT IS SUPER HARD GUYS. I need you people at this stage.

But then I would forever be dependent on you guys. Accountability is awesome and it works. But I want to do it alone this time. So I will post on the group only when I make a mistake. If I achieve something, I will be here too to share it with you.

BUT I WILL TREAT MYSELF BETTER.
IT IS OKAY. IT IS OKAY TO RELAPSE. I AM HUMAN.
I FORGIVE MYSELF. I FORGIVE MYSELF. I FORGIVE MYSELF.
I RESPECT MYSELF FOR NOT GIVING UP.

Talk to myself as a true leader. How I would talk to my kid if he was going through what I am.
“Hey man ! I know you are disappointed that you relapsed and you are aiming to do great things for which you would need to get rid of this addiction completely. I know that. I know you want to achieve great things but still waste time on youtube and watching naked women again and again despite promising. But I love you. No seriously I love that you do not give up. You could have easily commited suicide because of the negativity, depression, anxiety and everything that you have faced. You could have seriously killed yourself. But you went out of it. You came out stronger than before. And you can do it this time too. You have it in you. Listen. A relapse is no big deal. It is a big deal only because you make it a big deal. Yes, you are addicted to it. And you have to say no to it. But it is not easy and I understand that. You give your best. And I am gonna be there for you. Whether or not you make a big streak or not. I love you unconditionally. And I believe in you. I believe that you can achieve greatness. It is only human to make a mistake. Maybe this mistake did not teach you much except that the brain neurochemistry is something you cannot mess with and that you probably do not have control over everything. And that is okay. I accept you just the way you are. You are an awesome person with goals to make good in this world. And I know you will. You will be free of this shit. Have faith in a higher power. Now stop crying and get back to your mission. The world is looking up to you, champ. And I am there for you every moment. Now get back up.”
10th September 2020 (The Last Relapse ? I don’t know. But I will give my best to be a true Brahmachari. One day. I will make it. )

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@TheFinalFrontier Bro, when you once get out of this cycle it will be a lot easier. You did it once. You did great streak before. It shows that it is possible!

PS. Could you share here or in private message your sharing code? I don’t have one.

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“Control your mind. Control everything. It is hard to control your mind. But it is the only thing that matters”.

  • TheFinalFrontier.

I cant rely on any group. I cannot rely on chasing goals to escape myself. I want peace. And I am taking a spiritual path this time. Not a path of forcing myself to escape through my goals.

I DO NOT WANT TO BE THE GREATEST. SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU. I WANT TO BE CAPABLE ENOUGH TO SERVE HUMANITY. AND IN THAT PROCESS IF I NEED TO BE THE GREATEST, THEN SO BE IT.

BUT I WANT TO SERVE A LARGER PURPOSE. A LARGER VISION. THAT TRANSFORMS PEOPLE AND HUMANITY.

I just relapsed. I cannot say if this is gonna be the last relapse. But days are passing by. And I might be an average FOREVER. If I do not stop now …

I surrender to god. and ask for help from the divine now.

Yes, no more big claims guys. I need to rise to the level of God. This is a dark phase in my life. I know things will go worse. But I am ready. To fight. Just need the strength.

Bye.

SEPTEMBER 20, 2020 IS THE LAST RELAPSE.
I AM ON AN AKHANDA BRAHMACHARYA.

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Thanks man. I am not using the app anymore. My streak is not updated. Basically I am fucking fapping every day now. This will hopefully change soon.

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@TheFinalFrontier soon you will feel that you have enough of it all and you will start new big streak

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Come Up Bro I think You Now Understood How Dangerous Was Edging Which Impacted Your Streak…Now Forgot All That Get Up Bro…Come On Get Ready On The Fight To Life Success

Edging is Suicidal

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I love this community. I will back for you guys. Specially @Tagore !

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Update :

This is a realization for me.

Guys ! I have found the real reason why WE RELAPSE. Why we masturbate. Why we binge watch Netflix. Why we binge watch Youtube. Why we waste time socializing with friends we might not like.

To realize this I have been trying to quit all the things that I believe I cannot live without.

I have been trying to quit PMO for a while. Been successful at times, failed many times. With youtube, whatsapp and all social media platforms the same. With casual useless socializing as well.

AND YES, TRYING TO ACHIEVE EVERYTHING AND BEING THE GREATEST AND HAVING BIG GOALS AND CHASING THEM ALL THE TIME IS ALSO AN E S C A P E. IT IS AN ESCAPE FROM OURSELVES. IT MIGHT WORK FOR A LONG TIME. GIVE US BIG STREAKS. BUT THE MOMENT WE DROP THE GOALS, WHAT ARE WE LEFT WITH ? OURSELVES. OUR LONELY SELVES. OUR NEEDY SELVES. THAT CRAVES CONNECTION.

YOU SEE THE TRUTH IS WE ARE ESCAPING OURSELVES. We need connection as humans.

NOW THERE ARE THREE HEALTHY WAYS TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM :

  1. Escaping it by means of grinding, hustling and achieving all the time. It works and you will definitely grow as a person only to realize that this is just a cover on your loneliness and an escape to not being able to spend time quiet with yourself.
  2. The second way is to seek connections with other human beings. Being able to connect with other people. This is also temporary. And can be harmful because if you cannot spend time with yourself, you can never spread happiness to your relationships.
  3. Learning to love your company so much that you do not need anyone. You would still want to achieve goals and be ambitious. But now you are not escaping yourself. Your ambition is an expression of your desire to share your inner bliss with other people. And to serve humanity. And all your connections, your people experience your true self.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 3rd PATH IS THE ULTIMATE PATH. AND IS THE HARDEST OF THEM ALL AS WELL.

I have tried the first path, reached streaks of 145 days , 90 days and multiple 30-70 day streaks. Needless to say I failed more than a billion times on the journey. I might still fail.

AND THE FAILURE IS A SIGN THAT I AM NOT FULLY AT PEACE WITH MYSELF.

I have tried the second path. But over some time, if you keep on just developing more and more connections, it makes you feel connected. But ultimately when you wake up, you miss someone. You want someone to hug you, to talk you, you need to be needed. To be loved. It is only human. But this is another sign that you are not comfortable with yourself.

Why do you need someone ?

Why are you not fulfilled alone ?

THE GREATEST INSIGHTS A MAN GETS IS IN SOLITUDE.

I have tried the third path. It is the hardest thing ever. And as you know I have chosen to be celibate for the next 3 years. I am still sticking with it. I want to be completely at peace with myself. And my work should be an expression of my love.

I HAVE TAKEN THE HARDEST PATH. MAYBE I WILL FAIL ALONG THE JOURNEY BUT THE REASON WOULD BE JUST THAT I AM NOT AT COMPLETE PEACE WITH MYSELF.

AND I WILL DISCOVER SOMETHING ABOUT MYSELF. EVERY TIME I FAIL.

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Good decision man, I need to remember you what the The Buddha had said:
“Do not believe what anyone has said, your friends, family or even me unless your concious confirm it as the truth.”
Always follow your concious. We have to face the reality, we may be fucked up at times. Currently when I look in the mirror I don’t like what I see. Why? Because I have been fucking up my life. Eating junk food, choosing instant gratification, sleeping a lot, not working hard etc.

And most of us here don’t want to accept that reality!

By doing that and affirming nice things to ourselves we are actually trying to hide from ourselves.
Tell the truth to yourself and make real change. Try not to fail, try to give your 100% to go forward and still if you fail, learn from it and never repeat it.
Thousands of men have Conquered this addiction. If we are giving our 100% we can do it as well.
But still it won’t be easy.

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For sure man. Thanks again - Tagore for President.

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Hi I relapsed.
Date : 18.10.2020
Streak : 27 Days
Mistakes :
1. Surfing the urges -
Lay down naked and calmed my urges by breathing deeply, erection gone, everything was fine, but then I said ok lets arouse myself a bit and then won’t relapse, will just calm myself. Wrong as usual ! never trust your mind.
2. On computer all day -
Basically I have killed my social life. I do not go out at all. Even when talking to someone I would just dial my phone and do it instead of meeting
3. Meditation routine broken -
Last few weeks have been stressful. I got laid off from a job, had an important exam and other crazy stuff. But I managed to stay through it and handle it like a man. However, my routines are screwed. I hardly meditated but used my anger to drive myself. Not a good idea. Meditation is important to channel that sex drive to the top so that you can think rationally.
4. Exercise routine broken -
Basically I have hardly exercised at all in this streak. Exercise plays a crucial role in calming your sexual energies and releasing them in healthies ways.
5. Circadian rhythm broken as well -
I did not sleep at all last night. I slept during the day. This is weird for me because I am the kind of person who was an early riser for months. Now I messed it up. Thank you Corona.

Changes to make right now :

  1. Will finish some job applications
  2. Meditate for 10 minutes
  3. Go for a run
  4. Workout at home till exhaustion
  5. Cook
  6. Finish some important report
  7. Listen to audiobook
  8. Sleep at 12 am maximum
  9. Will forcefully wake up early tomorrow at 5 am
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Thank you for sharing here with us. We’re together in this journey.

Good luck with your job applications.

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I have relapsed 3 times in the last 2 days.
LAST RELAPSE NOW : 20.10.2020
REASON : Depression because of last relapse.

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It’s a true addiction bro… Be courageous! You deserve your ideal life!

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Can you do something for me? Can you please read all your posts sequentially from Day one to the last post. Believe me but it will give you various valuable insights about yourself and your biology. While one post of yours say that you will be a akhand brahmachari , some days after that statement, one may find that you have already relapsed multiple times after saying that. Can’t you see that your mind is playing with you, when you made that statement your mind was just consoling yourself trying to make you feel good as you surely made that statement after a relapse and then after that also you went down again. Can’t you see it a cycle- first you make a promise that you won’t do it for a lifetime that you are this and that etc then you relapse. After this relapse you make more bigger promises than the previous promises and then again you go and this shit keeps on happening. Why? Because it is your biology, you are born out of sex, we all are, our body is made up of sex cells. Can we fight it? No. So does that give us an excuse to masturbate? The answer is again a No. Why? Because when you do it even though you may feel relaxed for a miniscule amount of time there is again urge to do it again and it keeps on happening. The sexual hunger never gets satiated. Does it make any sense to indulge yourself into something that is ever growing and constantly feeds itself with each new act. If you can come to this understanding a door may open for you. And there are ways to do it. And mind you, affirmations and determination do not work on this path. Whoever says it does,is just suppressing his sexual energy which might be even more dangerous. Next time a sexual urge arises in you don’t fight it just lie down and close your eyes and see whatever is happening in your body. Try to bring your awareness into the sensations in the body. Don’t suppress anything. Just see to whatever is happening, let the energy overpower you, surrender yourself completely to it. After few moments you will find that it has gone away, the urge is no more there. Try it. The experience will leave you speechless in the end. With time you will be able to see and understand the transmutation of the sexual energy. Once it happens there will not be any need to make any claims to do this or that. Your play of mind will be over and you will be incharge. Also practice discipline of waking up and sleeping early, eating only vegetarian food, half hour of yogasana and daily habit of reading/studies if you really want to succeed on this path. This path is not for those who cannot practice discipline, they will fumble very early. What’s done is done. Bygones are bygones. Do not worry about the past, let it go, it won’t serve much purpose. I will not say that this journey will be easy, it has its share of hardships but it will bring out the best in you. I will close with the following words ( hoping you are Indian and understand the same)-
Girte hain ghudsavar maidan-e-jung maine woh kya khaak girenge jo ghutno ke Bal chalte hain.
I hope you find some value to what I have said.

PS- Don’t mind my bluntness. Sometimes it is essentially required.

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Thanks a lot @Neo9594 I cannot believe that I am fucking my life. Every fucking time I relapse, the depression gets worse. And every long streak is heaven.

Just a little thought fucks me. Yesterday, I had the choice to handle the urge by going outside and running but instead what I did was fucking lay down naked and surf the urges thinking I am exercising my will power it worked for a good 10 minutes but then i fucked myself. Literally. I fucked myself and my life.

God, I do not really want to do this.

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Buckle up my man, you can do this provided you can follow discipline.