I doubt I am bringing anything new to the table. To the contrary, I’m just another elephant in the lifeboat weighing everyone else down.
That’s how it feels.
So I started jerking off when I was 14. It was the late 80s.I was on holiday. The orgasms were impossibly intense.
30 years later the orgasms often last longer but feel less intense and take more work to get there.
So I need to stop because every relationship I ever had with a woman failed because I could not translate what I do solo with my own hand into something that works in bed with a partner.
The guys know what I mean.
She rides you on top? You keep slipping out of her and apologising as you can’t stay hard and she grinds you to a pulp anyway. She let’s you throw her on her back? Good luck with that. I can’t feel anything in any position.
I wouldn’t mind a partner who just wants oral. But 99% of women say they love a good tongue but secretly also want the D as well. And Certainly no woman on earth really enjoys blow jobs. But some are good at faking in gratitude for good cunnilingus.
So yeah.
All the old arguments are true.
Masturbation can ruin intimacy as it spoils the magic.
bcgkcf to add me, UK, M, 44, Brian aka thatoldomegleguy
I don’t get how to navigate this site. Do I reply to my own posts to keep my diary thread going? I have no idea.
Well anyway. I’m struggling after 48hrs. Time to remind me of things that work especially between 4am and 7am.
One, having to phone my boss to say I am going sick or running late. The thought of losing money makes me angry and depressed but by staying in bed and wanking just makes me worse. So the KNOWLEDGE of the consequences of following through. My brain goes “nope” not doing that again. I call this the Matrix choice. Trinity says to Neo “You’ve already been down that road and you know exactly where it leads” so he climbs back into the car because yeah, jumping out doesn’t lead anywhere good.
After this thought process everything else is a more practical consideration.
Wearing shorts with netting liners. Really unsexy. Hard to get hard in them.
Jeans. Makes it difficult to get my cock out but not very comfy to sleep in all night.
Cannabis oil. I keep some in my bedside drawer. If I really feel I need to blow my load so badly, drop of cannabis oil, quick massage of the dick that feels amazing then… Nothing. It’s like my dick goes “Thanks man, I’m good now. We’re done OK” and I don’t need to climax. My erection disappears.
Then there is the hot match treatment. Not very effective but yeah sure if I am at home bored during the day and I get really uncomfortably hard, burning a match and stabbing the underside of my wrist can pull me out of it.
Then there’s youtube.
Watching something political that gets my brain pumping the blood instead of my dick.
I wish I could say all these work all the time. They don’t
Bro everytime you get an erection, ask yourself where am I? Because you know you will start fantasizing, it is important to stay in the real world. Just tell yourself, I am in my bedroom and there are no women here, for example. If the urge continues, just repeat this sentence and focus on it. Then your brain will understand you have no reason to be aroused and your erection will go down.
If you go on with this habit for some time, it will become automatic and you will be able to defeat all urges qlmost without thinking.
If you want, you can also meditate, personally it is the best thing for NoFap that I did, even better than exercise. It simply allows you to control your mind, so that you can stop the lustful images from coming into your brain. Just start with 5 minutes daily, but be sure to do it EVERY DAY SAME PLACE SAME TIME. It has to become a ritual. Then you will triumph from urges so easy that you will wonder how you even worried about them.
Good luck bro
83d24b
I never got the hang of meditation and we’re talking about a 30 year habit that makes it a cold blooded bodily function. I can go three weeks without if I try really seriously. So it’s not about breaking out of fantasy mode it’s just about jumping out of bed, throwing clothes on, looking for chores to do, occupying my brain.
Hey! You’re doing great:) First, let me start by telling you that you’re going to succeed! Yup, it’s going to happen. You’re a success! You’re challenging yourself and that encourages perseverance, which ultimately builds character. You’re learning and you’re on the road to recovery and that’s a great place to be! Look back at your journey and be encouraged by the highlights. All those distractions you mentioned that work some of the time, they gave you moments of rest where you weren’t fighting. Set your goal at making it through one day. Set that daily. Tell yourself that if you can do it today, you’ve done it. Start your day with that. You need to believe it to see it, and not the other way around. Don’t back down today. Remember, one day at a time. You got this! I’m rootin’ for you!
I’m so bored and unable to sleep.
Usually I would just go on a porn site, jerk it for an hour or two, fall asleep.
But I want to spend 2019 fap free and it starts here.
Reformulating strategies is how you beat addictions. When one thing stops working you find another.
I should get my headphones on and watch YouTube videos. I’m kinda scared I will get my headphones on and go to a site to watch live cam girls or something.
I should have made myself some warm milk with honey and turmeric to get myself relaxed enough to sleep. Instead I grabbed a beer 5mins ago.
I should have avoided eating. Guess what, I had pate on toast 10mins ago.
So already I know the choices I should be making and am already making bad choices.
But here’s the thing, ultimately to beat addiction you have to want something else more than the addiction.
I have known this and beaten a dozen other habits. Why can’t I kick this one?
