TeaRo's Daily Venture!

Diary
1

Hey! I’m new here. Day 1 on here. I’m actually day 18 though.

So, From like day 10 or 11 onward, minus a day, it’s been incredibly challenging. Almost everyday has had some sort of intense temptation. Before I started this my pattern would be I would masturbate usually once, sometimes twice a week. With a rare occasion of 3 times.

Before this I was tackling looking at porn less and I’ve mostly succeeded at that. Done long stretches without it and have been making continual good progress in that. It’s gotten a lot less, I’m starting to hate it in general. Which is good.

But, I’m surprised how hard the past week has been. It’s surprised me. When I’m getting tempted to I can hardly thing. I can tell my eyes are darting to boobs when I’m on public. I don’t stare, I move on and pray. But, it’s a lot more now than it was before I started this streak.

I mentioned I pray. I’m very much a follower of Jesus. I have a lot of reasons to not. For a while I struggled with the topic of if masturbation is a sin and I’m deciding that even if there is a possibility where sometimes it’s not, I don’t want to walk that line and challenge that. I want to be a good example to lead others out of this. I want to be free and full of life.

I have a small guys group every week, of 4 guys. 3 of us struggle and 1 doesn’t and he’s married. I want to set an example and grow in this. I want to be a leader and set a precedent and lead the way for myself and others. I really want to have success not just for myself, but others, especially for a future wife or kids.

Anyway, this is a long post but wanted to get this stuff set as a foundation. I found this and am hoping it helps! Do your best everyone!

2 Likes
2

Keep up the good work… You can always do it… Just add a fasting habit to your efforts…

2 Likes
3

That’s actually how I’ve gotten this far. I’ve thought of it as a fast with an end date but not to break it on the end date just to get momentum.

4

Day 19.

Today has been a little easier. Definitely wanted to masturbate. It felt a little easier to resist but it still was a challenge. I felt a ‘cleanness’ after resisting this time.

Though, I set this Saturday as a date and it will be my 3 week mark. So, I don’t want to reach that goal and immediately like let my guard down. I’ll have to keep up the fight.

There is a strong desire to want to masturbate in general and if I make it a month, I know I’ll feel really good about that, but I do already feel the thing of just wanting to break it after a month.

I know that probably won’t be beneficial. I definitely don’t want to be addicted to masturbation. I want freedom from it. There is a side to it as well though where I don’t want to just shame myself for that desire. The desire for sexual pleasure isn’t a bad thing I believe. I refuse to be mastered by it but I also don’t want to flat out think sexual pleasure at all is bad and then get married one day and feel shame from sex. I want to hold a healthy view on sexuality that isn’t just shaming myself. I want to do what’s good for me for sure though.