Chapter 18: Summary of the Program Steps
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#Step 1: Commit to finish the program. Commitment has its own power. When you commit yourself in
faith, admitting that you can’t do it yourself, you unlock the power of commitment to help you
overcome the powerful viewing addiction. Commit without surrendering your power to choose.
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#Step 2: Clarify the negative consequences. Determine the truthful consequences of viewing
pornography. Use reliable sources and stories. Narrow the list to the top five consequences that ring
most true to you. By deliberately clarifying the consequences before taking action, we increase our
chances of choosing wisely.
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#Step 3: Clarify the positive consequences of living porn-free, or of living a loving life. Narrow this
list to the top five positive consequences you most want in your life. When you review your
consequences, you’ll benefit much more from the positive ones. The more clear, positive and
emotion-filled, the better. Remember, you can choose your actions but you can’t choose different
consequences than the actions dictate.
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#Step 4: Create your vision using your positive consequences list. Remember, “He who cherishes a
beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart will one day realize it.” Your vision will provide
tremendous power. For your mind to see it clearly your vision needs to be well-defined, vivid and
positive. Make it focused on the benefits to you, not others. Keep It Simple.
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#Step 5: Acknowledge and Accept all temptations. Temptations come to all and are not bad nor
should they cause guilt. Remember Victor Frankl’s words, “Between stimulus and response there is a
space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our
freedom.” Immediately Acknowledge the temptation plainly, directly and specifically.
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#Step 6: Acknowledge and exercise your power to choose. Choices are for this instance only. You are
free to choose differently in every instance. This concept is a key to the program and a key to your
power. Choosing vision, positive consequences, benefits and results gives you power. When you tell
yourself that you must, have to, better, ought, should or use other “compel” language, you are denying
your freedom to choose and lose your power.
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#Step 7: Use the ACV process to confront and deal with every viewing/doing or related temptation.
Write it down and recite it with every temptation without exception.
- Acknowledge and Accept the Temptation in first person: (“I want to view and do”)
- Exercise your freedom to Choose (“I am free to choose and I choose…”)
- Choose your customized, positive vision
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#Step 8: Embrace anxiety and discomfort. Overcoming a long-held habit like viewing involves some
anxiety and discomfort. Recognize that these feelings are natural and part of your beginning to live a
loving life. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
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#Step 9: Recognize and reject the power-takers, or failure paths: SAPS and doing it for others.Suppress. When you attempt to suppress the temptation with your own willpower, it will
increase in power and refuse to leave.
Avoid. When you attempt to avoid triggers and temptations instead of confronting them directly
with the ACV process, the temptation does not go away but increases in power.
Protect. When you rely upon protection, such as computer filters, disconnecting the internet,
etc., you have not confronted and dealt with the temptation so it will not go away. Please use
protections for others that may access your electronics.
Substitute. When you try to substitute another thought or action to replace the temptation, the
temptation gains power and comes back strongly because it has not been confronted and dealt
with.
Do the program for yourself, not for others. Others will benefit but the power comes from doing it for
you.
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#Step 10: Recognize the lie in rationa”lie”zations. When you provide reasons for your viewing and
doing, they are generally not true and not worth it. It’s important to recognize them as lies. Refer to the
chapter on “Why do we View Pornography?” for detailed examples.
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#Step 11: Repair the damage. Use affirmations on a daily basis to rapidly repair the damage viewing
and doing did to your self-image. Set and achieve worthy goals to get back on track to living a loving
life.
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#Step 12: Repair the relationship. True intimacy is an important part of your relationship with your
spouse and is formed over years of trust, respect, kindness and affection. Those not married can still
work on the foundations of true intimacy to improve their future relationship. Practice listening,
sharing, being dependable, being honest and demonstrating your love. Remember that actions speak
louder than words.
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#Step 13: Practice. Repetition and practice are the keys to mastery. When you’re practicing, you’re
expanding your comfort zone. Practice ACV at least twice per day. Practice Affirmations once per
day. Institute scenario practice regularly according to the schedule. Be engaged in the conversation
and in the community on a regular basis.
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#Step 14: Share. Find a way to be the teacher or lead someone to the teachings. The teacher always
learns more than the student. Helping another helps you practice and stay engaged. Keep the clouds away