Wanna share some experience.
I had both ways. At the beginning I wasn’t able at all to get a proper boner. It got a bit stiffer but nowhere near how it should be.
Typically I came very fast too.
I feel like there could be different sources,
- the way of sex
First time I had sex with my girlfriend I thought I have to please her, so I was stressed and didn’t get a boner. The next time I was scared that it would happen again. And obviously it did happen again.
It got much better once I got the gut to tell her that it scares me to not please her and that this is the reason for my problems.
Afterwards I could be relaxed with the thought if it happens it does, if not, fine too.
This helped me in both ways. Getting a better erection but also to last longer. If I’m scared that I might come to fast, I also will come faster
Second thing that helped me is to start slower. The times were I come fastest is where I tried to force something. The slower we started (kissing and undressing stuff) the longer I last afterwards. If I come directly from shower already undressed and straight to the act I never last a minute.
porn… It gives me a wrong view of sex plus it messes up with my erection and sensation. The longer I stay off porn the better sex feels, the longer it lasts with a better erection.
And obviously it could also be a disease. But I would try to rule out stress and porn first. (in my case I see a huge difference even after a week of nofap)
hmm maybe an important last note. I personally realized that during watching porn and fapping i always tension my pelvic base for a higher sensitivity.
I tried to relax my pelvic base during sex which reduces the sensation to a very comfortable level. Which also means that I last much longer. With a strained pelvic I come immediately, with a relaxed one I can go quite long
Hope some of these might help you