[Slowdown's Diary ] Be crystal clear about your objective

Be crystal clear about what you want.
Why No M forever? Why No M?
My sleep is affected due to it.
But my smartphone addiction would take over and disturb the sleep.
Smartphone addiction > PMO

Then, should I do it at other times not at night?
I would be rewarding and keeping active that neural pathway.
Brainfogging, lack of focus. I’m scanning through lots and lots of info without staying on one and jumping around. Fast paced. I’m not focussing. At the end I’m just brainfogged. Hence academics is totally bonkers now.
Time wastage (at least all around 30-40 min wasted.) Lots of time wasted.
Feels worthless afterwards. All my mistakes and lack of activity makes me feel utterly worthless.
It feels harmless if you do it not at night and don’t mind these stuff at that time. But the cumulative is too too big.
So PMO. That is final.

It’s not that it’s evil. If anything, I make it evil through injudicious use. But ultimately it’s useless and addictive. You could do other things at time. Nothing good comes of it. Lots of time wasted and nothing productive comes of it. You keep on searching for new stuff and theres no end. It’s a deep black hole. Leads absolutely nowhere and you waste your time and resources. So I stop it.
Just like smoking, alcohol is bad for health. You can drink, smoke infrequently and maybe cause no health issue. But why don’t you stop altogether.Take up other activity. There it’s gone

Why No PMO, because - sleep is affected (secondary causative), enormous time wastage, brainfog, lack of focus, academics down the drain.
Only excuse is to relieve of stress excuse but many other options are there to relieve of that. So don’t worry.
So even if your brain at that time makes you crave it and bring 1000 explanations why I should do and which actually seems logical, DON’T DO PMO.

Now thinking, it’s tempting to see of the user had made the act addictive, can’t you revert it back to non addictive activity. But having become an addict, I don’t think anyone should revert back to it. It just doesn’t happen. It’s an excuse to get back into it.
As for the non addicts, they don’t need this.
There might be people who only M once a month watching P and not in an addictive manner. And when they become addicts, they will start their journey and do the needful.
For us, it’s not at all an option.

On doing this, the withdrawals and the build up of energy is too much to handle by sitting down and channeling like a sage. Not possible for us.
So let’s channel through useful items like sports, running, something that requires your active participation.

Sleep affected is not primarily due to P. It’s due to smartphone addiction. My restlessness and insecurities has found home in smartphone addiction.
Priority to smartphone addiction.
Because even if I don’t masturbate at night, I will probably use smartphone and fuck up my sleep.

Smartphone addiction.
This is the major one. The fine line between usefulness, exploring and mindless surfing has to be learnt.
Now I am planning on writing down the urges and prioritising it and just breathe, slowdown and if it requires actual attention, then only open the phone.
The line between pleasure to keep you upbeat and mindless pleasure also has to be learnt.
Very hard to control this smartphone addiction. But will move forward.


This is great brother keep it up


Thanks man, journaling is very essential to get things straight.