I just want to shout out my anger. I’m sick and tired of people.
In the past months I supported 2 friends of mine a lot. Both has a lot of trouble in work. I was in many cases their emotional support. Even though I have my own problem, I tried to be as supportive and caring towards them as possible. Since yesterday I had bad mood. It got me, Nothing special, but you know just like it used to happen with anyone. What hurt me a lot is that they did not even tried to ask whats going on or just be there for a talk. They saw that I’m not in a good mood and immediately ignored me and avoided me. We always have lunch together(we are colleagues) but today they went without me. And before anyone thinks I said anything to them that caused this, because of my bad mood, nothing like that happened. When I have bad mood, I used to listen to music and don’t talk much. One of them basically didn’t even tried to talk to me today and we sit next to each other…
Are people really this selfish? Are there no people left who at least cares a bit about their friends? Why should I care then? I’m sick of this feeling. I hate life like this.
Am I only good when they have a need I can help with, but when I maybe need a few good words I’m an annoyance to them?
I am so fuckin furious about this right now…
I’m on my 32nd day and I don’t feel like this has anything to do with it.
Hey bro… It is okay… It is just you are expecting too much… Or expecting them to do as you do with others in that situation… Remember you are different… They are different…
Another thing is… If you help someone… Just take happiness from that… Never expect something in return… If you want piece.
And yeah… This js also true… Some people are selfish… Or you can say…they like to be cared and pampered in their bad time…but they don’t realise to do same thing with others.
So take your learning from this incident… and do accordingly…
Remember…not to change your nature because of other people actions… Help others… Just do not have your big loss for such kind of friends… Don’t expect anything…
I can understand. You are hurt obviously because of expectations. I used to be like you. I used to help and empathize with people. I had a room mate like your colleague. Thought he was my best friend. Tried to be nice. But didn’t work out.
Why? I found few reasons. First being you are obviously better than your friends and they are jealous of you
Second, they are not adult enough to understand “Bad mood” is natural and anyone can have it. And yes they should have asked how you are doing.
Reality is its hard to find good friends. So i just made peace with it. I have like zero friends and im okay with that. Its the best trust me. If anyone comes, I try to be nice without expecting anything im return. Follow this policy. And yes I do believe people are selfish. So dont expect. Wonderful things will happen. And walk the fuck away if you are not valued as a friend. Life’s short to be associated with dicks like those
If there’s nobody helping you, the best man is you yourself.
If you help anybody you should be the first who enjoys helping. He may value it or not. If he doesn’t he is already mad, don’t push.
If there’s anybody who’s helping you, you are blessed at that moment.
You don’t need to feel any bad for helping with no reason. Trust my experience, helping without expectations is very beautiful.
The people around you they are very toxic this is why i don’t depend of the people around me because at the end nobody can feel your pain but at the same time living alone is imposible I have a balance everbody need a balance control your emotions it’s no easy but is the only way to live happy so much support in your journey
Let me tell you this story in a more detailed way because I learned a very important lesson from it. Also I wrote the post out of anger, so sorry about that. I mentioned 2 people but actually there was one that I really care about and whom I was angry at. I was badly mistaken.
So here is how it was and what I learned:
I experienced a few bad days this week. I woke up tired one day and had this bad mood already at the morning. I closed myself up, buried myself into music, behind my headphones. I tried to separate myself from everyone and everything. There is someone who I care for and adore a lot, the one I mentioned. Yes it’s a woman and no we have no romantic relationship in any way. We are friends as much as oppisite genders can be. On that day, we had a short conversation, no argument just few sentences. I was quite closed to her as well. On that they she didn’t talked to me afzer that. Avoided me when she had her lunch. So I felt betrayed and I had anger in me. The next day I was out of office. Had some university stuff to deal with.We didn’t talkad that day. The third day morning, I still had bad mood and was annoyed but I felt like I want to get over it. I tried to reach out to her, but it turned out bad and we had an argument. Didn’t talked for a few hours again. I wanted to make peace but I felt betrayed again and was still angry. I found others to talk to and drink my coffee with others which I used to drink with her. She did the same. But later I found a small chocolate on my desk. It was from her. I thought that it was a sign that she want to make peace as well, so I went to her to try to talk again. We had a little argument again but it was more honest then the previous one and made me realise something I was wrong the whole time. My thought on the whole thing was that we are not as good friends as I thought and if I have a bad day, she is simply avoiding me because she don’t want to care about me at all. I thought that she thinks I’m a burden. But then as she told me her side I realised that she was hurt by me because I was closed, hidden behind my headphones and she thought and felt like I didn’t trust her to open up my feelings and bad mood for her. She got mad because I handled her the same way as I handled everyone else. She thought we have better relationship than this. It enlightened me and it hurt me because I had to realise that I had so low self esteem, that it never occured to me and I wasn’t able to think that she may want to care, I just made it hard and impossible. We made peace and I learned a very valuable lesson, that there is care and love out there for me too. I never want to pity myself this much ever again. This dark place where the lies about myself in me took me, I never want to see again. It’s a lie of the evil to feel unloved and alone. Yet I was loved but my detoured mind wasn’t able to realise it. I feel like this was a huge step to heal my way of thinkinf about myself.
They maybe just giving you your time and space. So that after you calm down yourself with the music and silence, then later they will ask avout you.
(I may be wrong too, because i was not present there to watch it happen. I just gave a point of view.)
Edit:- after reading your above story, i felt good. Im happy for you that you have such a real friend.
I also don’t want to erase my post because afterall, it is a point of view, some people will also behave like this.
I’m happy that you have such a beautiful friendship mate. Do be grateful for people like her, they’re real gems. And always remember that no matter what you say or do, God will never ever stop loving you. Cheers!
