Hi, I was wondering if anyone has any advice on whether I should tell my best friend about my past ■■■■ addiction? I was addicted 12-14 years old and it really screwed me up for a while. I’ve been clean for about 4 yrs now (This was all before I met her) Once I met her, she reintroduced me to my faith and she has been my best friend ever since. We tell each other everything but I dont know if I should tell her or not because I’ve never told anyone before and I really don’t want to ruin our friendship
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It sounds like you’re going through a tough decision, and it’s understandable to be uncertain about sharing such a personal part of your past. Here’s how I’d approach it:
First, it’s great that you’ve been clean for four years and that you’ve found faith and a supportive friendship with her. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you trust her a lot, and that’s important when considering whether to open up about something that’s been such a significant part of your past.
There are a few things to think about:
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Your intention: Consider why you want to tell her. Is it because you feel that sharing this part of your life will bring you closer, or do you feel that keeping it hidden is causing stress or shame? If it’s the former, your intention is to deepen the connection and honesty between you. If it’s the latter, it might help to talk to her for your own peace of mind.
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Your readiness: You’ve been clean for several years, so it sounds like you’ve worked hard to move forward from this part of your past. It’s important to ask yourself if you’re ready to talk about it. Sharing it could feel vulnerable, but if you feel secure in your recovery and your current self, it might be a way to embrace that.
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Her perspective: If your friend values honesty and you have a deep, trusting relationship, it’s likely she will appreciate you being open with her. However, it’s also okay if you feel unsure about how it might impact your friendship. Trust that your friendship will be able to handle it as long as you’re being honest and sensitive about how you approach the conversation.
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What’s at stake: If you think telling her will create more closeness, allow you to be more authentic, and not hurt the friendship, it could be worth sharing. But if you’re worried it will cause tension or she won’t understand, it’s okay to wait until you feel more confident or find another way to work through your feelings.
In the end, the choice is yours, and it’s okay to take time to process how you feel before deciding. Whatever you choose, trust that your recovery is something you should be proud of, and it’s part of who you are. It doesn’t define you, but it can certainly be a powerful part of your story.
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Thank you so much- this helped so much and I will 100% keep all you said in mind
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You’re very welcome! I’m really glad I could help, and I’m happy to hear that it was useful for you. If you ever need anything else or have more questions in the future, feel free to reach out!
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Don’t tell her. It will slowly ruin your friendship. You said you are clean then you are obviously in good condition. It is not a good idea to open yourself up to women because the psychological mechanism of girls will make you feel disgusted by the fact that you were weak in the past.
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My question is just this one : do you really trust her?
Because this is really important. Personally for me, I consider myself lucky because I have some female close friends and we share about almost everything, and we don’t judge each other, it’s totally safe for me to be open and vulnerable in front of each of them. I trust them because they trust me, especially in confiding in and mental health stuff.
So the most important thing is, I support you to share your struggles if and only if you both trust each other deeply. Does she consider you as a close friend as well as you do? That’s important.
You are the only one who knows the answer, is she a kind-hearted person to you or not?
On the contrary of being afraid of being judged as a weak person, my experience states differently, being vulnerable is the only way you can get close to each other. By sharing your feelings and your struggles to each other, you will get closer on emotional level, and you will have better connection with her, or with anyone, males or females it doesn’t matter. Not everyone will judge you, they’re too busy thinking about themselves.
I don’t mean to complicate things, sorry about that. But the thing is, I support you to follow your conscience. What your inner self tells you to do. And one more thing, we can discuss here and help you, but in the end, you’re the one who makes the decision and takes responsibility of your own actions. Alright then, that’s it from me, good luck!
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