Sex with Escorts

How does the community feel about sex with Escorts on the NoFap ? Does this count as a relapse? Or is it exploring the world of sex without needing pathetic porn videos?

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Okay here’s the technical answer:

Easy Mode = not a relapse
Normal Mode = not a relapse
Hard Mode = it’s a relapse
Monk Mode = it’s a relapse

If you want to get laid go for it. Personally I would say it isn’t worth it. Imagine if you pay :money_with_wings:for awkward sex? You are taking a risk.

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It is a relapse, no matter what mode you on. The reason is that you are just satisfying your urges with paying someone else to do it for you. Basically you are hiring a pair of hands to satisfy your fantasy. It’s not because the other person wanted it to do, it’s because you are paying for it. You are doing it now, you will do it tomorrow and whenever you feel urges you will resort to this option. So, IT IS A RELAPSE.

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I was generally under the impression that NoFap was to do with going out and getting the real thing. So I am confused by how you’re meant to get laid unless you go for it? Not everyone is a student in clubs every 2 nights.

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Bro, if you consider having sex with a prostitute is “the real thing”, then you need give that thought a minute. It is just like watching porn with a first person experience. If you wanna get laid, work for it. Get a real girlfriend. You are just doing it to satisfy your urges, not out of love or intimacy. It is just other form of edging. But at the end of the day, you should do what your heart suggest you

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I want you to answer why did you started the no fap journey in the first place, do you remember? What was the reason behind it. What made you start this journey?

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@LloydyBoy is that a rhetorical question?

It certainly is the real thing man. Not a high chance that the girls you meet are as attractive as these escorts. I totally get you here as well. I am currently going out seeking the real thing when I can and I am certainly getting better reactions from girls. Thanks for the insight too, your input gives inspiration.

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I started it to focus less on wanking to ridiculous fetish porn and to get a better/harder dick during sex and it’s certainly working mate. Also the attraction from women.

If mentally you are fine with paying someone to have sex with you, I don’t see it as a relapse. Addiction is simple, it’s just something you can’t control that you’d like to regain control over again.

People think having a girlfriend, they’re not paying for sex. Haha that’s a huge lie, you pay in money (presents/meals/trips), you pay in time, you pay in compromise. Just because you don’t pay cash for sex, you still have to pay with something.
And if you didn’t get any sex in your relationship now, how many would stay in that relationship?

If you can control your urges, whether masturbation, prostitution, one night stands ect, and you’re not questioning yourself after, I don’t see it as a relapse.

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Is that what you think of a relationship with someone? So, according to you, it’s better to have sex with escort as she is only taking a little amount of money and on the other hand you have provide all kinds of amenities to your girlfriend just to get the same thing. This kind of mentality is what causes addiction to porn. What you just said is exactly what objectifying means. Paying for a commodity, just to get some benefits. Having sex with escort is DEFINITELY a relapse, coz you are just hiring someone else to satiate your own urges. There is no difference. Don’t think even for a second it is not a relapse. If you think it is not, you are just another guy fooling no one but themselves.
@Gettingrewired

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I think it is different. I’m not giving a girlfriend money or presents so that she has sex with me (I guess other people have different goals in a relationship). I give her flowers because i love her

Also (depending where you live), in my country it is not normal that the men have to pay for everything. I share all the bills with my girlfriend. We give each other the equal amount of presents

So, if I have sex with my girlfriend it is about passion and love and it is a together. I think that is the biggest difference. You have sex together. If you pay an escort, she is only there to please you. You don’t necessarily have to care about her.

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Wow, of course relationships or even prostitution are not just about sex. A lot of customers don’t even pay for sex but companionship.

It depends on the individual, some people just want a relationship to look good in front of others (actually, that’s probably the norm) considering how many get a divorce or break up because they’re bored, while some may actually love their “other half” and want, not feel they have to, do things for them.

You pay for everything in life, it’s not just about money. Some people are great on their own and a prostitute (male or female) means they can have sex. I’ve got no problems with that. It’s only if it really interferes with your/somebody else’s life that it could become a relapse.

If you can control your drug usage to once a week and stick to it, would you think there’s a problem there?

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The fact is your still paying for sex even if you want companionship. And that companionship you get from prostitutes doesn’t last long, so in the long run you Don’t get anything long term or intimate to the deep soul to last. The person who does that wont ever be satisfied. They will always want temporary companionship like that until they meet the real thing. And people who are in relationship just to look good are not even in a real relationship because its likely they will divorce since its only for looks and for society they do it not for anything true love is. I was actually about to be one of those people who seek a hooker or prostitute but in a few days or so I realized its a bad choice. You want the whole car or part of the car. To figure.
And just because someone has reduced the amount of drug usage doesnt mean it cant come back or has disappeared. Its still there. So you can say the person is recovering but the addiction is there still in his or her mind.

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True but for those who don’t want to be in an permanent relationship but still want fun every now and then, I don’t see how a prostitute would be a problem or a relapse. I don’t see NoFap as a fixed rule and our problems are different.
I just want to stop masturbating to porn, but sex with my gf is ok (btw I’m not in a relationship, but I’m dating)
For others it maybe to stop all form of sexual pleasures. Therefore relapse should be different for everyone too.

If you can control your addiction though, is there really a problem?
I want to quit smoking (I still smoke daily) but if I controlled that as in, only when I go out drinking then it isn’t really relapse until I smoked in a normal day?
I understand doing things cold turkey, but I can also understand drugs if controlled properly too. Just depends on the individual, and not giving in to the initial urge.

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@Gettingrewired I think if you call something an addiction you are out of control. But if it’s a habit then it’s something you have control over and the habit doesn’t control you.

A person’s goal determines if a prostitute is a relapse or not. That’s how I interpreted what you said. I do kind of agree with other statements that one way or another you pay for sex (not always with money :dollar:). Personally I refer to sex with a prostitute as meaningless sex and really wouldn’t make it a habit of doing that. It is a fun type of activity though.

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If its controlled under your control to not smoke as often and plus your not out of control which is a definition of an addiction. Then you aren’t addicted. Same with jerking off or watching porn. But here again we need to draw the line somewhere in No Fab. What’s best for a person? And what’s not good mentally for them in order to mature properly. Depends at what age your also doing No Fab. There are recommended things you shouldn’t do in NoFab buts its not a rule of course. Like for example edging isn’t a relapse but because others want to quite fully its recommended not to edge since it could lead to relapse. Or in my case no prostitutes because it could change my mindset on woman just like porn. I mean porn lead me to that prosti idea in the first place. It depends on your goal indeed. I agree with some things you said, but you have to ask what’s best for a person in this journey. Personally if your just doing NoFab and your not doing No PMO then your not taking the whole package of recovery in order to recover from an addiction. But if your not addicted man be my guess. There are those who are addicted here that came a long way. If you are having sex while dating woman it could either be a good thing for your goal or bad thing depends if your still addicted to masturbating to porn. I mean its no different than watching and masturbating to porn if your doing sex with woman you date randomly. Although its more ingrained in your mind if you do it physically which may lead you to have a firm mindset of woman negatively. But since you seem you don’t want a relationship its okay for you. Its just that your not doing No PMO. Your doing No PM if you are quitting out the porn and masturbation thing.

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Speaking from real experience… I had an arrangement with a female where I paid her for sex… the act of paying for sex was dirty and was what my porn saturated mind LOVED so I got off on it good … I ended that arrangement eit that female and didn’t have sex with any one for months. Went back to excessive porn n masturbating. I then met a girl.bstarted dating and I couldn’t get a boner. My point is paying for sex fed into my effed up porn saturated mind where I could get a hard on. When I tried having legit sex out of sumone I cared about it didn’t work

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@emoro0220
Your experiences are similar to the events happened in the movie “Shame”.

Really??? Never heard or seen