I’ve just joined a few days ago and I wanted to express my thanks to this community, to which I can already relate a great deal.
I had a sobering wake-up call last Sunday when my wife caught me watching porn in the most (dare I say) IDIOTIC way possible, but I am glad it happened nonetheless. She and I had already agreed that my use of porn would be a dealbreaker. Suffice to say, my addiction got the better of me, and the years of secrets and deciet have resurfaced.
I apologised sincerely, made a vow to her to seek help to overcome it for good, and took action to show her that I can indeed get through it. I started by downloading the Rewire Companion app, downloading Fortify as well (for educational purposes), setting up a screen accountability tool (Covenant Eyes) and looking for self-help resources to better understand my addiction. Despite a rough few days where I felt that our whole relationship would unravel, we have begun to re-establish our communication, and she has kindly agreed to help me with my battle. I cherish our relationship beyond anything else and I hope to never jeopardise it this way ever again.
With respect to finding self-help resources, I found a gem of a book titled “Overcoming Sex Addiction: A Self-Help Guide” by Thaddeus Birchard. Dare I say, it has been nothing short of an eye-opener, which has resonated immensely with me. Through my brief reading of the contents of the book, I was able to uncover so much about my own personal problems that have led to my use of pornography nearly threatening my relationship with my soulmate. I began to understand what causes it to resurface despite years of alleged “discipline”, which was nothing more than me thinking I could keep it secret. I highly recommend this book to anyone wishing to take active steps towards battling their addiction and overcoming it for good. Though I’ve only just started, I am confident I can make tremendous progress that will truly last.
In some ways, I feel truly grateful for getting caught doing it! My wife and I managed to shed so many communication barriers over many heartfelt discussions that drove us to the very edge. Nevertheless, she has been incredibly supportive, and I feel much closer to her already. Add to that, we had some incredible make-up sex, to say the least XD
If you have any other resources of your own, please don’t hesitate to add them to this thread so we can all share the collective goodness of awareness, education, and practiced mindfulness.
Thank you everyone, and I wish you the best of luck with your battle!