You’re probably right. I have been feeling different recently so it could be that. Thanks for the input brother.
Day 30
Not gonna lie, urges all day. Hopefully this stage passes soon because I really don’t even want to have urges anymore, makes me feel yucky. But the good news is I’ve gone 1 whole month clean. Praise God!
I’ve learned a lot just within these 30 days. Like how I need to focus on what really matters, my life and the people around me. 30 days but not finished yet. Let’s keep fighting!
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Congrats for 30 days bro 
Keep rocking!
Yes it’s all about prioritizing your life! This declutters your mind and brings clarity in your thoughts.
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Thanks bro. Sadly I fell last night, but good news is I’m feeling strong today. Keep going bro! You’re gonna beat this.
Day 0?
Days don’t matter to me anymore. I just see each day as progression. 30 days is not wiped in 1 relapse. Although it is a setback, I continue the fight as though I’m still progressing because I choose to and in reality I still am progressing.
What caused me to relapse?
Well I will not blame anything, but dude those urges days straight were really tough. I kept having nocturnal emissions, dreaming about something sexual, and waking up fantasizing. I would try to snap myself out of it but it was hard. Then I decided it was okay to edge by texting girls. I stopped myself but I had already started planting the seed. The rest is too much to get into but just know I fell to myself.
What have I learned?
I MUST HAVE A PLAN TO FIGHT URGES! How many times do I have to keep learning this lesson? I was doing everything right. Working hard, motivated, becoming a better more loving me, yet I still succumbed to this disgusting habit… enough is enough. I also learned that you cannot edge at all. What’s the point? It’ll only grow your urges into something untamable.
What will I do different?
Daily prayer. Look God has always been there for me even when I haven’t been there for him. He’s told me time and time again to come to him, so I will listen. I will not make it a routine to come to him, just throughout the day I will pray. And when the time of an urge comes I will be ready and have that relationship with my father to conquer it. I also will uninstall anything that can remotely give me an urge. Safety first. And I will be taking a supplement that I’ve read up on called “N-Acetyl L-Cysteine.” It’s said to help with compulsive behaviours and even help addicts as well as other awesome benefits.
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Day 1
Feeling good. Defeated some urges yesterday, fought hard yesterday. I could’ve said “I’ll just start all over again from scratch. I already relapsed anyway, might as well indulge” but I didn’t want to.
Not to put myself above anyone but I’ve been doing this thing for a long time already. 4 years now I’m fighting against this addiction, going on 5. I know now that days really don’t matter, it’s progression that matters.
I’m excited to fight my best now. I will beat this now. Not in a week, not in a month. Now.
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Day 13
Anyone else notice that after a period of abstinence ads on your phone become much more sexualized? It’s as if Google ads tracks everything even the last time you searched for lewd material. It’s pretty disgusting.
Anyways I’m doing well. Had to take a break from journaling to get my priorities right. Tommorow marks 2 weeks clean so that’s exciting. Keep pushing y’all it’ll soon be worth it.
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Day 15
Half a month. Praise God! Forgive me Lord! I’ve been so distant from you. I’ve been through such struggle these past couple of years, but now I see that you put me through this so I’d ultimately come to you. Now I see you. Just as Job says, “I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.”
Keep fighting brothers! You’re all better than this sin. As men and women we musn’t succumb to these kinds of things. We’re stronger than this.
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Day 21
This thought popped into my mind, have we been focusing too much on the day count? After all addiction is a lifetime thing, meaning if we do not quit it for life it’ll stick with us for life. I feel like the people that made the “90 day challenge” were kinda missing the point. At least that’s my point of view. I never want to pmo again because I’ve seen first-hand the destruction it causes in my own life. So to focus so much on days might be a mistake a lot of us are doing. Nopmo is a complete life change not a challenge to me. Then again if we look at days initially as a marker for progression then it could be used as a good thing I think. Like saying to ourselves “alright day 1-21, I’ve officially progressed passed the delta-fosb phase.” “Now it’s time for withdrawal phase.” Idk I’m just rambling now, but for sure this thought has changed my perspective on what days really mean and how much weight they really hold.
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I totally agree brother. It is a life style. I have been focusing on my streak too much and when I fell down from day 112 I was devastated. I couldn’t accept it. I thought my soul was gone but with the help of great companions here I caught myself up.
Keep going. You are on the right path. We are all with you. Together we’ll get out of this addiction forever brother.
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Much appreciated man 
I also am here for all of you. We can all do this and we will. You’ve already had it going but maybe that fall needed to happen so you’d learn something new. Now that it’s happened that part is over and you can finally beat this for good. Just some way to think about it.
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Day 30
Here’s to 30 more 
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Great brother…now don’t stop… next milestone…60 days…
Keep in mind this is not gonna be easy… get ready to fight…
all the best
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What’s this book about bro?
Thanks bro. Yes 60 days is my next milestone, but it’s day by day. I know it’ll be hard but each one of us can do this. Thanks again. God bless you.
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Day 33
Feeling good.
Mental note:
All good things come from God.
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Relapsed
So I relapsed yesterday night which was my 37th day of abstinence. Sucks, but I’m optimistic for what lies ahead. I’ve learned so much from it that I cannot even be too upset.
What caused the Relapse?
Stress. I know this is not an excuse to relapse, but I did have the urge because of stress. I’ve been working so hard everyday it just became overwhelming the amount of stress that built up in me. I had no way to channel the stress nor unwind so I just decided “one relaps won’t do much damage.” Boy was I wrong.
What have I learned from it?
I learned that I need a way to relieve stress otherwise it just accumulates and becomes this beast that ultimately 1) is not good for my health, and 2) will cause me many urges unless I deal it. So I will start implementing regular exercise as a way of stress relieving. If this doesn’t seem like enough in the moment I will pray and consciously take a moment to unwind.
Mistakes bring us closer to success. I honestly feel like I have the right formula now. If I had gotten that far with so much stress mounting up imagine if I knew how to unwind and take care of myself as I should. Then I wouldn’t need pmo for anything. I’m ready to take this journey lifelong. God bless you all.
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Bro, don’t ever connect pmo with relieving stress, otherwise it will soon become a habit and the next time when you’ll be having any kind of stress, relapsing would be your automatic response to deal with it… So better stay away from such traps.
Regular exercise/yoga is a good way to reduce daily-life stress. Meditation is another awesome way. Also being mindful of our thoughts can help us to know where they are leading to us, and then we can simply change the direction of our thoughts!
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Yeah bro I see. It’s been a link to urges for me for a while. But yeah I’ll be exercising and maybe pick up a calming hobby like drawing or reading. (I used to draw so much before this addiction took over.) Anyways thanks for the advice bro it’s much appreciated. God bless. 
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Iam very happy you learnt a valuable lesson brother @Sacred . This failure. Stress is one of the no. One reason most us fail in nofap. Make Meditation a must in your daily routine bro, exercise, journaling etc are good but this addiction actually shut down our de-stressing hormones and some dopamine receptors too.
The main secret to avoid stress is go through it, when this addiction is there normal stress will feel like big ones. As you reach high streak stress will naturally reduce bro. Feel the pain and go through it. God is with you.
When God is with you who can be against you?? What can stop you ??
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You’re very right. Stress is one of the biggest urges we all deal with. Infact I probably started using pmo habitually as a stress reliever. Ironically it causes more stress in the long run. God bless you bro. You’re so right. If God is for us who can be against us?
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Day 3
I don’t use the word hate often, but I HATE pmo. I hate it with a burning passion. Looking back I can see so many times where it influenced me to be a terrible person. I am not this selfish monster it made me. I’ve hurt so many people and I’ve hurt myself too. Pmo without a doubt is a major contributing factor to the selfishness I expressed. With 30+ days under me I am so much more selfless. I care so much, at least that’s what I’d like to believe. But man, I really really hate this pmo thing. I think secretly I loved it. That’s until I fully realized what it actually made me into. God help us, have mercy on us, forgive us, and destroy this thing soon.
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