Relapsed feeling bad

Today I felt lot of energy in the morning and it made my D* hard. I thought if I use my hand I will end up relapsing. So I felt uncomfortable and I tried many things to cool it down. At the end I ejaculate somehow without usingy hands. But this Relapse made me feel like nothing happened.
So, Currently my mind craves to watch P to Relapse again.

Can anyone tell me why I am still feeling like I should watch P and Relapse ?
Give me advice.

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I think it is a chaser effect.
When you give attention to d* it will not go down but when you concentrate on Your harf d* it will lead you to relapse.

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But @drago I Relapsed in the Morning and currently(evening) I don’t have any urges but still I have psychological thoughts which asking me to watch P and Relapse.

I am not paying attention to my D* now

This feeling is for sometime it will go,
I think when you ejaculated the neural pathways get strong again because when you ejaculate most of the time it is linked to porn. Then brain gives signals to watch p**n.

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Yeah you’re right. What should I do to get rid of this thought?

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Don’t concentrate on the urge now.
Go help someone or socialize.
The thought will go.

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This is happening (urge of watching porn) because your brain is thinking about “relapse, failure, demotivation” instead of “your why to join NoFap community”

You relapsed, thats okay. Learn from it. Instead of falling in it. Your brain is pulling you back into the trap. Beware!

Make your brain think more of
“why not to watch porn :muscle:
instead of
“why not, lets watch some porn!:wink:

Understood?

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Yeah @strongwillpower I understood very Well.
Thanks for helping me.

I will try this new approach to nofap.

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Amen amen amen amen amen.

For me it is soooo important to focus on positive recovery. It is like in basketball. You have to think “make this shot”. If you think “don’t miss”, you will miss more often, because that is basically what you were thinking about.

Also, I understand how you feel. Sometimes I have physical or emotional urges. Other times I just feel like it because I am bored. The trick for me has been to fill my life with good things. Then there is no room for the bad.

Good luck on your journey :+1:

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  • What you do when you feel urges(physical or emotional) when you feel boredom?
  • What trick you’re talking about which fill your life with good things?
  • What are those good things which help you for no room for bad things?

Kindly tell me these @keepFighting

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What you do when you feel urges(physical or emotional) when you feel boredom?
I have learned that the best thing to do is not get bored in the first place. To help me do this, every morning I write a list of things to do that day. I am reading books more too. If I do get bored, I either find someone to talk with in person, just about anything the topic doesn’t really matter, social interaction helps me fight urges. Or I have to do something extra engaging to get my mind off of the urge, which usually means exercise.

What trick you’re talking about which fill your life with good things?
By “trick” I didn’t mean one specific activity or action, I mean that ‘the key to success’, or what has helped me the most, has been looking for good wholesome activities to spend my time on.

What are those good things which help you for no room for bad things?
You already saw the poll I did, that list should give you some ideas. Also, just do what you enjoy! Spend time on your hobbies.
Personally, these are the things that have helped me the most that can take up lots of time:
God; I pray more and spend time reading scriptures.
Exercise; sometimes its lifting weights sometimes its jogging. Just anything to be active.
Cleaning. I keep my home as clean as possible. For me staying mentally clean is easier in a physically clean place.
Reading good books.
You don’t have to have the same list is me. Don’t overwhelm yourself either. Just start with one thing that you already do that is good, and do it a little bit more.

I hope that helps!

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Good advice here. The reason you have urges is because your brain is looking for more dopamine. Dopamine is the hormone most significant to pleasure. When you orgasm, your body releases dopamine, and your brain associates that release with whatever you’re doing at that moment. The purpose of this is ultimately to create a bond between husband and wife. The sex act releases dopamine, which in turn creates and strengthens the bond between husband and wife. In the case of almost all of us here, our brains have created an alternate bond with porn, or other stimulations. Since PMO is readily available and is an object that can be controlled, our brains equate that to easier pleasure than putting forth the effort to cultivate a living relationship. So, we tend to get a craving for that, the instant gratification. I’ve found it helpful to think about the big picture. That putting off the temporary gratification now, will lead top something much better in the future.
Sorry for the long rambling. Hard to put it in a short paragraph.

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I read books(self improvement) but when I feel urges or I Relapsed all day routine is go down. All progress I do feel like I achieved nothing. Whenever I feel boredom I surf YouTube and watch about the military aircrafts how it engineered and cars too. Otherwise I listen the audiobook online as well as physical book.
Actually I stay whole day at home because of this covid global epidemic. I never go out of my house unless it is very necessary. Being at home feels very bad but I have to.

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Brother, I believe stay strong for 3 or 4 days. After that chaser effect will end. You’ll become stable. I believe in you man. You are strong. Make a decision that fapping is never an option. And when the urges comes stay there calmly, take deep breaths feel it coming and going like an idiot and show your middle finger :joy: . Thats it. But its very easy to say. Hard to achieve. You are a strong man. You can do this
BEASTMODE​:muscle::muscle::muscle:

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It is a great tool and character building,
“why watch?”(why to not) - instead of “why not watch?”

The mind is a beautiful thing that develops - Thanks be to God :pray:
But expecting it to solve these problems is not as close to what @drago said;
“help someone or socialise”
It is THE MOST understated of all. Especially as we’re so pent up of self improvement, self motivation, reaching out goals, potential.

Compared to searching for reasons and making arguments ‘Doing’ and being-in immediate life will show reasons.
You become the reason, instead of an idea about it.

If you don’t serve it with arguments and mind tricks, it won’t serve them back to you.
(arguments have two sides)

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Thank you very much guys @drago @keepFighting @strongwillpower @kjschnei1 @Tagore @Aoshigreen For helping me and lifting me up. I believe that we all should work together so that we can break the chain :link: of this addiction. Your words are really valuable to me. Even I won’t ignore your words in future. Thanks for caring. :metal:t2:

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I think what @Aoshigreen said is right.

No one knows what we are going through in our mind. They(with whom we socialise) will never understand why we need to socialise with them that too after a relapse.

Your energy and mindset after a relapse will be totally different than others and no one will understand, so the possibilities are you may not get the response that you need at that moment (after relapse), the person may not response back with the same energy that you are on, as he/she doesn’t know that you relapsed, so he/she can not revert back with that motivational energy that you need. This may lead the relapsed person into more depression and the consequences maybe more and more relapses.

So we have to be our own helping and and pull ourself back.

:clap::clap::clap::clap::muscle:

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Sorry, I was unsuccessfully making the point;
The mind with its good uses, is limited.

Making arguments with it does not stop it making arguments back also.

If we make arguments and reasons, you can bet arguments and reasons will come back at you.

What @drago said “help others / socialise” is about Faith.
It is taking our arguments/ideals into life.
It is living it, the importance of which I cannot emphasis enough. It is not the same thing as making arguments.

Our reasons can be found in the actions we take, we are not mind dependant, Thanks Be To God.

We shouldn’t be having debates about whether pmo is good or not.

If we are to be dealing with the mind and trying to find a perspective, let it be an observation of it, rather than it.
Observation always wins when it is in use, even if the mind fails, or we fail at keeping our ideals.

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