Hey, guys. I need an advice. After some reboot intents made in the last 2 years, by November 2020 I decided to try again. I’ve had one successful reboot in the last months of 2019 (with a successful recuperation of libido) but I relapsed in January 2020. But then, this time, 1 month trough nofap I started dating a girl and we started a relationship. It was hard to begin having sex but she was very comprehensive and one month into dating we started having sex. But, unfortunately, my libido was still low, so, many times it was hard to get hard (although there was one weekend that I was easily turned on). Then, I started asking myself if the fact that I was having sex was keeping my brain from rewiring. Also, in this last 160 days streak I had masturbated 3 or 4 times but, since I didn’t use porn, I didn’t restart. And there was a few times I entered a porn site to watch some seconds of porn. But it happened very few times and I never really indulged in this watching, I just watched some seconds of a video and closed the tab. Last thing: instagram hotties were also frequented, but never masturbated to, if I remember correctly. Then, today, having insomnia for some days, I indulged more riskily in porn videos and I came without masturbating. I instantly felt very bad and anxious and immediately sent some messages to a friend of mine to alleviate the bad feelings. So, now I’m restarting. The advice I wanted from you is: what do you think was keeping my libido from coming back, even with this big a streak? The (very rare and rapid) peaks in porn sites, the few times I masturbated without porn, or the fact that I am having sex (although often times with some difficulty to get an erection)? And the most important question: do I have to stop having sex with my girlfriend in order to rewire? This is what’s been worrying me the most.
From my point of view ANY relapse, be with PMO, just peeking or edging affect the brain in a very bad way like a way of seeking a false pleasure. I guess that your brain are still believing that it’s better and very easily (as we know it is) practice PMO and it refuses to spend energy in the real relationships. You might be rewired but that effects are really hard and you need to adapt your mind to this new reality. I recommend you try mindfulness and meditation practices, but surely someone with more knowledge will reply you. About your last question unfortunately I am not able to give an opinion. Good luck
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