Relapse wisdom (I learned that...)

Hello fellow fighters,
TL;DR:
Let’s pool our collective experiences!
If you relapse, come to this topic and write “I learned that…”
This can be what triggered you, and what preventive measures you can take for the next similar situation.
Like this, you can work through what happened in a constructive manner, and also, others can benefit from your experiences instead of reinventing the wheel!

More info:
After a relapse, no matter how long the streak, most of us fall off the wagon, binge, suffer feelings of weakenss, failure, insufficiency, and depression, and take some time to reach high streaks again. Instead, let’s find a constructive way of seeing and dealing with relapses.

A relapse does not mean you are restarting your path but it only means you stumbled. It is up to you to keep lying down OR to pick yourself up, look why you tripped, and continue in your lifelong road to recovery.

Also, don’t identify yourself with this addiction. It is a Little Devil who keeps nagging at you, so let’s find how we can quieten his voice and eventually silence him completely! :blush:

@FishEater, thanks for the inspiration! Your positive attitude and statement in your last post gave me this idea! :+1:

2 Likes

I learned that I have to keep my bedroom completely electronics- and internet-free.
ESPECIALLY after I just relapsed.

3 Likes

*I’ve learned that some streaks are longer than others.

*I also assume that if urges disappear they can come back unexpectedly. I try to be ready for them.

2 Likes

Visual medium has a very profound effect you must have noticed you’ll remember the storyline of a movie very vividly for much long duration but you wont remember a books story line that much clearly as a movie ,that is because visual medium has little more impact at times now add the excess dopamine release after watching porn now your brain creates strong neurological connections inside thinking this visual medium was the best hence creating strong visual flashes hence at times you get these strong porn flashbacks of your favorite scenes or actors this is very dangerous as it can create strong urges and make you slip to look at that vedio again or search for that same actors different vedio or similar actors video

Now to over come this situation is little hard but if you keep yourself prepared dont go on social media for few months or dont look at any triggering material then it’s ok ,usually this occurs when you put down your guard and look at some not so sexual material for fun like a insta model or facebook crush or read regarding some actress you like ,her wardrobe malfunction ,her list of affairs or accidently come to explicit sexual material on the internet, now you start subconsciously planning your relapse you have activated your neurological pathways created long back and they start tingling now you add a situation where its possible for you to access the internet alone then BOOM RELAPSE.

so first dont let your guard down I am trying not to look at social media for atleast a year that’s the plan I have deleted the apps but at times I do login from a explorer to see what my friends are up to if necessary stop that as well

if it occurs and you end up looking at trigger related stuff it will lead to flashbacks now it’s tough. cold shower will help and keep your self away from places where you can access such material

I have read it takes from 90 days to 2 years(depending on your porn viewing habits and frequency )for your brain to forget this neurological pathways and make new one ie rewire so it’s not that you will never be able to get out of this behavior of triggers then flashbacks and slips but it’s only that it will take time and dedicated changes in lifesylte till then it’s best to stay away from situation , places, social media or anything that can be a trigger so slips are less and progress is fast .

the reason many people think they are stuck in this forever is because they have not made dedicated lifestyle changes they are not ready to quit social media they are not ready to change certain people in their life they keep putting them self’s in the situations where triggers are easily available to your brain and the brain does the rest of tingling those neurological pathways with strong flashbacks ,will power is at times great and at times very week. they keep on saying I’ll keep the rest of my life same keep same dirty thinking people around me keep my social media packed with pages that have explicit sexual content and still win this ,this wont happen atleast for few months let those brain cells relax and forget the wrong connection and make new healthy ones then you can go back to your friends and social media (without those pages dont follow such pages anymore) but with a healthy brain that wont get so easily influenced
that doesn’t mean go watch explicit sexual material again but by that time you wont find it interesting if by accident it comes up In front of you.

this is going to take time i have planned the next two years of my life there are days I am in a very bad position and slip but when I look back I see how I let my guard down or by accident something came up on my screen and this will happen cause the world is using explicit sexual material to sell everything so triggering material will one or the other way make it in front of you ,you cannot completely avoid it for life you need to make your brain with a strong wall against these triggers and when your wall isn’t that strong yet at that time cold shower avoiding high speed internet will help and most importantly support group to keep you motivated will make the healing period as short and smooth as possible and help you build that wall

Your brother totto here having porn flashbacks as I wrote this article going for a cold shower and then of to a busy day with productive activities planned wish me luck dont want to slip

-Shared from Rewire Companion app