I relapsed after like having 100 + streak. Explaining how it happened doesnt make sense. But I learnt one thing - screw yt ( or whatever that is called social media) no matter what. Its like my 8th time , I am relapsing after a 100 + streak.
I am just writing this so that I can move on. Nothing more. Nothing less. Majority of the time I go ghost mode when I relapse and that never helped.
I must be accountable for my action. Along with my good deeds , my sins should also come to light. Though it feels like a life force drained out of me , I am not dead yet. As long as I am not dead yet , I will fight.
You are right brother… the guilt of using social media a lot increases exponentially and stomps me on the ground one day. No fap ignites fire of achieving something in life but when I ignore this and keep wasting time, I feel disgusted. Self hatred increases and devil attacks at most vulnerable time.
But the problem is we are bound by the system to get trapped into social media. Every school, college, job require you to use social media.
I miss my school days when I did not had phone. When I take my pleasure from reading books, playing cricket volleyball, kabaddi , ploughing the field, playing chess, ludo, carrom with friends. Just living in present.
And now everything is gone. These sophisticated technologies , AI is really making life complicated. It is making me restless all the time.