Rebooter's Journey

[Rebooter81]

15 days clean following the Mark Queppet Reforged man programme, using the self mastery app and checking in daily on there. Using a specific journalling technique as much as possible i.e the metascript method involving retroactive, preemptive and responsive journalling. Which is just reviewing fails, anticipating fails and self talk to prevent failing (relapsing/pmo-ing/■■■■ binges)

Hope everyone is doing well
I’m Feeling good and recommend that everyone find a programme that works and get serious, really serious in tackling this addiction.

This was my entry last night on the self mastery app:

15 days clean

Felt more confident today, ocd seemed lessened at least earlier in the day.

Definitely pmo brings shame and that exacerbates my ocd.

Was able to offer encouragement to a friend our daily check ins are helping both of us.

Preemptive:

If I feel tempted tomorrow as I lie in bed then I will not indulge any sexual thoughts or desires to watch p. or desires to touch self.

If perverse or negative thinking becomes unmanageable then I will get out of bed rather than ruminate.

I will not get my tablet to watch p in bed, I will stop any ■■■■ fishing immediately I catch a desire to do so or find myself starting to do it. I will reach out to my accountability partner if I’m struggling, I will read posts on here, write a preemptive and post it, read my anchor vision again.

I will choose to bounce my eyes and not ogle women, I will continue to monitor any sources of temptation on various apps and websites and take action if necessary such as blocking ads, uninstalling apps, using YouTube less etc

I will listen to podcasts addressing p addiction and continue with my reforged man course. I will use walking as a clearing action. Bit jumbled all of that but first action is to read posts on this app and reach out to acc partner.

By controlling my thoughts I literally cut this addiction off at the source.

Oddly these desires have been minimal over these last few days when I was expecting serious urges and frustration. I think I was given good advice on here that zero indulgence, a zero tolerance policy if you will makes overcoming this addiction easier. It is the little peeks and excuses we make that set us up for huge urges later on, the slippery slope.

I also listened to a recording I made weeks ago maybe more after I’d failed to remind myself that it’s not worth indulging

Thinking back to what feels like a lifetime of fails; maybe 25 years of indulgence and half hearted battling this I can honestly say pmo has done me No favours. I’ve always suffered after a relapse, I’ve never not regretted a relapse. Yes I wanted to have my cake and eat it but turns out that’s impossible. You have to make a choice; who do you want to become and what are you going to sacrifice because whatever you choose you sacrifice something.

I’d rather not sacrifice my whole life, happiness, health, relationships, time, sleep, energy and confidence for an endless series of drug induced highs and crushing lows that’s a really poor deal.

[Rebooter81]

17 days clean no pmo

Really happy I’ve got this far.

Plan to remain vigilant tonight and tomorrow as always.

Preemptive:

Any inclination towards watching p*rn or peeking at anything suggestive/arousing/erotic or just something that I find enticing which of itself may not be seen as erotic I will shut down. Could be ogling a girl while I’m out because of a particular outfit doesn’t matter, no ogling, no permission granted, I’m keeping my streak, my energy, my focus etc.

No peeking or fishing. If I catch myself doing it I stop immediately no delay and get away from phone or pc.

I go on the self mastery app, read posts and write a preemptive.

I’ve been feeling lonely lately but I’m not going to allow that feeling to cause a relapse, my streak is too important to me. My freedom from this addiction is too important. With that in mind I am a little concerned as to how I will approach dating in the future because it could so easily lead to relapsing which in the long term could provide the biggest challenge. Right now I’m doing ok, one day at a time.

I am feeling more confident and less ashamed day by day, my natural aversion to eye contact and automatic shame response has decreased. I don’t need to feel ashamed, I am not watching p*rn.

I have nothing to be ashamed of.

[Rebooter81]

18 days clean

Every day is an opportunity to prove to myself that I can resist urges.

I am not a slave, I am in control of my impulses.

Preemptive

Tonight could be risky so I write this

Tomorrow could also be risky

I will not indulge sexual thoughts

I will not peek at anything suggestive, I will not linger over anything suggestive

I do not need cheap thrills

If I find myself peeking or fishing then I will immediately Stop myself and move away from pc or phone.

It is not safe to be around tech when I am feeling that way so I won’t take the risk. A brief check in on the self mastery app involving reading entries and then making a preemptive or other entry (yes that involves using my phone and then I could put the phone down if necessary). Generally my phone is less of an issue for me than my pc but of course it’s potentially risky.

I do not want to remain as a p0rn addict, I need to reach 90 days for a start, I am reforging my life. I have done really well to get this far and refuse to ruin my streak.

When tempted I will also reach out to my accountability partner as well as my daily check in with him. Today he was really good checking up on me and our daily check ins are helping us both.

A walk is also another option if I’m feeling a lot of pressure and so far in this 18 day period I have not needed to resort to walking as a clearing action I simply walk most days for pleasure BUT walking is there as a tool in the toolbox for handling strong urges and getting out of a tempting situation. Staying at home when under pressure with technology at my fingertips and noone to see what I’m doing I.e anonymity is a very dangerous situation and I’m not intending to test my willpower, that is foolish!

If I find myself thinking sexual thoughts tomorrow in the morning then I will STOP those sexual thoughts immediately

I will not look at or touch or play with or rearrange my “junk”. NOTHING no touching

I get out of bed and have a pee. Then if I return to bed I do so mindfully knowing it could be risky. So far I’ve been ok in the mornings lying in etc no problem but I’m aware lying in is risky, I just do it because I’ve been bloody exhausted and my body needs to rest. Yeah I’m kinda depressed been this way for ages, unemployed and going to bed very late and getting up early ish is just hard. Yes I have Shit to FuurKinnG do but there you go.

I’m working on the self discipline and routine ok.

So that’s the plan. More routine, structure and discipline. I remain fully committed yes fully committed to nofap to no pmo to hardmode to not watching p0rn to not watching anything erotic to not masturbating to not touching myself to managing all of my thoughts re: lust in particular…

[Rebooter81]

[Rebooter81]

19 days clean.

Had some urges and struggles this eve.

Tried responsive journalling which I won’t share.

Still going with this streak.

Ok I’ll be honest my commitment has felt like it’s wavering now. Had an angry day, felt depressed, it’s all connected or can be I think. Messaged a friend who first messaged me and we’ve been consistent with that for my entire streak far as I’m aware, so the constant checking in has helped.

Ok I’d better do a preemptive but I don’t want to… mmm why don’t I want to?

Part of me wants to indulge, feels like it’s missing out, life is unfair, is angry.

Ok but the other part of me says:

You’ve worked hard to get this streak so don’t throw it away. You’re on 19 days now which is my 2nd longest streak of 2023, if I maintain my streak until the end of the year then this last streak of the year will be my highest streak ever. I’m on track to break a personal best.

But… it’s not just about a big number is it?

No, on this streak my concentration has dramatically improved, my cognition and understanding and recall seem to have all improved. Also I haven’t felt ashamed when going out, my automatic avert the eyes around certain girls/women practice has stopped suddenly my brain kicks in ‘hold on we have nothing to feel ashamed of , resume eye contact, as you were…’

On that note I choose to continue to remain vigilant with movies, YouTube, triggering ads anything like that.

Also triggering conversations, triggering thoughts and flashbacks. Shut those thoughts down, avert the eyes, click off and out of YouTube, the browser, the film, block the ad, put the phone down, don’t take the phone into the bathroom… that kind of thing.

I choose to maintain my streak.

No touching self, rearranging myself (unless absolutely necessary) none of that.

Obviously this all applies tonight and tomorrow and onwards and so on.

Major urges then I’m gonna head out for a walk.

[Rebooter81]

20 days! Well chuffed
Managed to get out this eve to a Christian social which always helps.
That’s taken the edge of any loneliness I’ve been feeling and even though I’ve been a bit angry today at least driving out late I was getting agitated again, it was nonetheless a good eve. I didn’t really want to pray because I felt angry so I didn’t but that’s my personal issues and disappointment raising it’s head and noone noticed or cared which was nice.
Everyone brings their issues to these groups but it’s nice that the group is quite outward looking which is challenging to inward looking addicts like me, I’m hoping as I continue to make progress in my streak I’ll experience less of the unhealthy navel gazing and self pity which can be a particular problem for single p0rn addicts.
Honestly all that self preoccupation only ever made me unhappy anyway and that’s not to say I don’t still suffer with an over emphasis on my self, and a certain amount might be healthy but to be un-selfconscious I believe that’s the ideal.
My mind is definitely clearer now than it has been for awhile and I actually believe I can hit a month and onwards.
I’ll continue to be vigilant, keep my guard up, receive good advice from those much further ahead in their journey and not take this progress for granted. Every day I will make efforts to remain clean.
It’s not too hard to write on here daily and to do a preemptive or 2 daily. It’s not hard at all!
It’s not too difficult to join a zoom call re: this addiction and message a friend and listen to a podcast or 2 every week on this subject and it’s not too challenging to continue with the reforged man programme.
I mean I’m unemployed so I’ve zero excuse. I’m currently doing an online course too but plenty of time to do all of that and without pmo everything is becoming easier. Result!

[Rebooter81]

20 days clean

Preemptive:

If I find myself tempted tonight I will take immediate action and shut down any website or advert or youtube that’s triggering. I will maintain a tight rein on my thoughts. I will choose to reflect positively on my streak and progress so far.

If I find myself tempted tomorrow morning then I will NOT touch myself in bed or out of bed. I will NOT indulge in any sexual thoughts, memories or fantasies. I will be aware of how my mind will try to trick me into thinking and dwelling upon sexual thoughts and how my mind will try to use erotic images as a form of escapism from tasks I should be doing.

If I’m feeling intense ‘pressure’ then a cool shower should help tomorrow.

If staying in the house is a problem then I will head out for a walk.

When tempted I will

1. Message my accountability partner

2. Use this app (self mastery) to read posts and maybe write a post

3. Head out for a walk if there is any chance that staying in will be a problem

I will NOT sit with unpleasant urges, just staring at them and TAXING my willpower No. That’s stupid. This isn’t an exercise in willpower, it’s an exercise in getting free from an addiction first and foremost, yes willpower is involved but deliberately testing myself would be utterly FOOLISH and STUPID.

So I will continue with my programme. Yes my routine is far from ideal but when I get out of bed I continue with this regimen of checking in with a friend and reading in this app and committing to another day of abstinence from this damaging addiction.

[Rebooter81]

22 days clean, really pleased with my progress

Routine is still “shot”, going to bed at ridiculous times in the early morning and getting up the next day in the afternoon feeling depressed and angry… but

I’m still really pleased with my progress

Urges on and off over the last few days but nothing too major

I take my thoughts captive, no fantasising, no fishing, peeking, ogling, suggestive shows/tv/youtube/Netflix I try skip the scene or turn it off

So much drivel on Netflix anyway not missing too much

Pleased I joined the reforged man zoom yesterday and another zoom related to this addiction: the 2% club fight the beast, the zoom starts at 1am UK time finishes 2am or earlier. I know ridiculous if you’re working but I’m not so if you aren’t working on a Fri and you’re a night owl then you can join from 1am. Go to fight the beast website to find out more.

I’m doing really well, I’m not going to beat myself up, been doing that all my life and where has it got me? (nowhere)

Dignity, inherent dignity and worth we all have it. Watching p is beneath my dignity

I am in control of my mind and sexual desires , I will not be enslaved by lust.

Preemptive:

To take all sexual thoughts captive, to commit my path to God, to immediately stop if I catch myself ogling a woman or fantasising. To immediately stop myself p*rn fishing on net if that should happen (I’m not intending to even begin any p. fishing)

To stay in touch with acc partner even though I dropped out recently which was unfortunate but my streak stayed intact anyway.

To get out of the house whenever necessary and physically move away from temptation.

22 days

B O O M

So I went out did some shopping today and I’m normally terribly indecisive when I’m buying anything clothing related in particular, but I think being on this streak really made that easier today and I came back with some items I’ve needed for awhile (hope they bloody fit now) … I’m still getting random urges, my life is 1000 miles away from perfect or desirable BUT my life is a Little better and that makes this fight Worth it and I know that as the brain rewires life continues to get better and easier so Again that makes this war worth fighting.
I have been strugging with bitterness, loneliness and anger… but I guess I just need to address these emotional issues as well…

[Rebooter81]

23 days clean now

Strong urges this eve/ tonight. I’m still at the pc. I’ve cancelled my acc2u subscription because in all the years I’ve been paying it (about 5 years) it has only been effective a few times, so that won’t be renewing next year and I’ll see how I get on. In the meantime I’ve actually added a friend who will hold me accountable until Jan 6th when the subscription ends.

I also left a long message with acc2u explaining why I’m leaving and how the software hasn’t been effective for me.

Now maybe that’s my fault but it hasn’t worked because it’s not enough to put a fence up and expect the ‘fence’ to do the work of stopping a p0rn addiction, it won’t work if that’s all you do and it won’t work if sometimes, note sometimes the helpful accountability partner interferes or acts unhelpfully which of course you have authorised them to do… mmm and then you react to being controlled, judged etc

So I’m just using it with an accountability partner until early Jan. I have my 3rd highest streak so far and if I can make it to Jan then I’ve broken my best abstinence record. That will help motivate me.

More importantly connecting with my anchor vision: I do not want to waste my life, I do not want to be a p0rn addict at 50 that would be horrible! I want to put this addiction behind me. Pmo has damaged my life, motivation, “verve”, ambition, prospects. It’s hard to quantify how much damage it has done or may have done…

It could have cost me potential relationships, opportunities with Christian organisations but alongside my other issues which are unrelated (although exacerbated by pmo) it is genuinely hard to know the full extent of what p0rn addiction has done to my life negatively.

Positively I would like to increase my chances of finding a job I can do , be successful in my life, increase my health ,reduce the ocd (def easier to tackle at the moment on this streak). Have a chance at a relationship.

It is hard resisting these urges but it’s def not impossible.

Brain Bridge:

I love being p0rn free, shame free not wasting time on p0rn, not wasting my energy and vitality, feeling more confident, knowing that I’m making progress in this area of my life.

I like feeling a bit lighter and cleaner.

I like having a clearer head.

I love being able to concentrate

I hate not being able to focus on a task.

I hate the ocd I get around p0rn, I hate feeling ashamed when I’m out and avoiding eye contact, I hate it when girls think I’m too forward (normally p0rn related) has happened occasionally

I hate wasting all that time. I hate what XXX does to me. I hate the comedown after a session and thinking I will never break free from this addiction. I love getting things done on a streak.

I like the man I’m becoming

I have dignity, women have dignity.

I will not stoop to watch p0rn.

Preemptive:

Take all thoughts captive tomorrow

No touching self, immediate shut down of sexual thoughts. Immediate stopping of any accidental or not accidental p0rn fishing on Internet phone or pc.

No indulgence of bitter thoughts, not to install tinder because I know where it normally leads which is a p0rn session.

To choose positive life affirming thoughts.

I am choosing this path of self control and self mastery, of loving myself and becoming a man others and I will admire.

I choose a path of healing that has no need or desire for the cheap empty thrills of pmo.

I am choosing a happier future without XXX

P0rn has no place in my future.

[Rebooter81]

[Rebooter81]

24 days now

I had to ice my balls to deal with urges and I think it helped.

Ice your balls man! That’s a pro tip.

In the past I would have almost certainly relapsed and to be honest I would have enjoyed it. Until afterwards then I would be thinking that it’s going to be absolutely impossible to get to 90 days but by taking one day at a time I have discovered I can work through this.

My mind seems to be functioning better than ever although I still have some inattentive focus issues, but maybe I always had that? My focus is definitely improved on this streak though.

I was able to ICE my BALLS and then I could go out which I think is more effective than a cold shower but I can try that too as long as it doesn’t trigger reflux.

So I’m on target to get my 2nd highest ever streak and then my highest ever streak thanks to this app, preemptive metascripting and checking in with a friend.

Preemptive (this can get monotonous but)

If I’m tempted tomorrow I will not indulge any sexual thoughts, I will try icing my balls again if I have strong urges, I will msg a friend, I will check in on here, I will reread my anchor vision, I will maintain a positive attitude.

I haven’t been working or getting too much done this last month and I blame my health, mental health, ocd for that but as Mark said if you do nothing in 90 days except overcome a ■■■■ addiction then wouldn’t that be looked back upon as one of the most successful periods of your life?

[Rebooter81]

25 days clean

This will be one of the best Christmases because I enter the spirit of Christmas on my 2nd ever highest streak and have every reason to believe I can actually reach 90 days now.

I’ve conquered some serious urges to get here and I believe I have enough tools in my metaphorical toolkit to manage and overcome this addiction now.

Of course there will be more urges and challenging times which may be harder to manage if I get a job although the opposite can be argued sometimes, that working and being busier is in fact a great antidote to a p0rn addiction…

I felt more confident around family this year and frankly less sorry for myself, I don’t know what it is about p0rn addiction but it used to make me just feel sad and lonely afterwards and really increase the emotional pain. Almost none of that this year and I’m as single as ever but the difference is that I’m not staggering around in intense emotional pain.

I know life will continue to get better as I maintain this streak.

Preemptive:

To shut down sexual thoughts immediately, to stop ogling women immediately if I catch myself doing that, to be aware of any inclination to “fish” for ■■■■ mostly on pc.

To manage urges by

1. Using this app (self mastery app and rewire) and reading posts and commenting and posting myself

2. To message my acc partner

3. To apply an ice pack to my balls or cold shower water

4. To go for a walk

5. To revisit my anchor vision

6. To look at my counter number(my streak counter) and contemplate that being a zero and how I will feel after and imagine myself as a p0rn addict as bad as ever at 50 years old, single, lonely, nowhere in life, depressed.

It’s unlikely I’d need to do all of these but I will if I have to.

Also to read bible and pray.

Reforge yourself

[Rebooter81]

26 days clean, I’m set to reach my highest streak so far by tonight and after that (tomorrow) I’ll surpass it.

A few days ago I battled serious urges, iced my bollocks in desperation and managed to get out and not fail. If I hadn’t had a daily check in with a friend, this app, journalling and a new mindset that is basically " I will not fail even if a gun is to my head"

Then I would have failed.

These last few days have been easy no urges.

Preemptive:

If I’m tempted to have sexual thoughts today I will not indulge, I will resist

I choose to not ogle women, to not fish for erotic images, to stop myself immediately if I find myself doing that.

If I get serious urges I will message a friend, go on this app (self mastery app) , read my anchor vision, possibly apply an ice pack to my balls, go out for a walk and click out of any tempting websites, even if it’s a tempting advert, or tempting youtube thumbnail, I will click out and away from such temptation rather than risk having suggestive imagery in my eyeline.

Those images and videos do not serve me and have never served me. I am committed to living in a new way and walking a different path. P0rn has only ever harmed me, it has done nothing for me.

I am so glad to be on this new path, living a p0rn free life.

Today I reaffirm my commitment to this p0rn - free lifestyle

I no longer have to live with shame, being ashamed and feeling ashamed around p0rnography or anything else I have felt ashamed about.

I love being p0rn free, confident, not wasting time and energy on p0rn, not feeling ashamed or that I’m hiding some dark side of myself from family.

I hate my former lifestyle with the relapse cycle involving lust, stress, relapse, confession, shame, anger, substance withdrawal, relapsing again and so on.

I hate the energy and time and joy p0rn steals.

I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be and had a good Christmas

[Rebooter81]

VENT
Fuck me, no don’t but fuck I’d like to watch P0RN or I’d like to relieve this fucking pressure with a wank at least. I don’t know why I’m pissed but I am pissed, I feel tense damn I’ve tried to relax damn would be nice to indulge, I’ve missed P0RN. I’ve been struggling with urges today and I’m not looking forward to facing urges tomorrow how long is this tension going to last?
It’s not fair, I feel miserable. Craig and his mates all have partners, I feel that God has let me down. How the hell am I going to maintain this streak and look for a job, this tension would make a job as a TA unbearable, the pressure is unreal. Even an old friend would wank just without P0RN.

RESPONSE
Mate I totally understand your frustration and unhappiness , you are under a LOT of pressure. It doesn’t seem fair and honestly some people do seem to get an easier deal in life, they have issues but they can navigate home without panicking, they don’t battle ocd every day, they don’t seem as hate or shame based, they have had relationships, they are less angry it seems, most can hold down a job BUT you are doing Amazingly well because you have achieved a record breaking streak.
28 days clean not just no P0RN but Zero masturbation shows strength of character, determination, a new mindset, you have been battling so many powerful urges and overcome a lot to get here. It would be a massive shame to throw that progress away even with ‘just’ a wank, you know that a wank without P0RN still resets the counter and you’ll feel so disheartened and frustrated you’ll likely go absolutely nuts tonight/tomorrow. Yes a wank isn’t a pmo session and it’s a partial fail, yes you could setup another counter and stay away from PRAWN but remember a hardmode reboot is the BEST REBOOT a great quote from Mark and experience has shown that.
A wank almost certainly will lead to a pmo session in the very least it will make a pmo session very likely if not inevitable so I really (you really) have no choice. I’m sorry that it’s tough for you, yes it is tough right now but honestly mate this is so worth it.
It might be once you’ve hit 90 days a wank can more easily be separated from a pmo session but do you really want to risk that?
Semen is reabsorbed by the body after awhile and if not then I’ll likely have a wet dream at some point.
I might have one tonight or this week or soon I don’t know and that WON’T be a fail because I’ve done my absolute BEST to get here.
My best is enough it’s got me this far and I believe 90 days is possible.
Overcoming this addiction is harder than we thought friend yes it is but once again big congratulations for getting this far and just keep going.
This is a marathon not a sprint and you’re nearly a 1/3 of the way to a 90 day reset.
Keep going, well done, congrats, you’ve got this, tomorrow will be easier. I’m def getting there. I’m learning about myself and addiction. This is really positive.

28 days clean now. I’ve broken my own record this my highest streak in my entire life and I’m in my 40s. Urges have been Insane although I could imagine worse urges, I was suprised to get hit by these urges today, later sitting round a friends feeling edgy the whole evening. My brain is rewiring and I feel good about that. I felt more relaxed today than in a while then Suddenly FUCK ME! my brain decided to torment me.
I’ve got through it anyway, going to bed soon

[Rebooter81]

Still on 28 days from yesterday eve.

I had some urges again today and discomfort but it was bearable not unbearable as I’ve often feared urges would become by this stage. That was an old pattern of thinking that would justify a relapse, why resist now if you’re going to suffer tomorrow and then give in anyway?

But I have proved I can suffer a little and still not relapse and indeed I can suffer a lot of discomfort and still not relapse if I’m committed enough to staying clean and ■■■■ free.

This undermines previous thinking that would justify an earlier relapse seeing a relapse as inevitable.

Chatted to a friend today and he admitted that it wasn’t urges that ultimately caused him a relapse after a very long streak but rather a certain pattern of thinking that ultimately led to him deciding “why bother abstaining?”

I have to have strong reasons to not relapse and so far my reasons have got me through.

I think it’s constantly reminding ourselves that we do want to stay clean and then providing ourselves with the reasons that got us started in the first place. How quickly will those reasons be remembered after a binging session…

Best to remind ourselves now.

I know after a binge I will feel awful

I know that a little slip will likely lead to a binge.

I am aware of all of the problems ■■■■ has caused me in the past; shame, brain fog, misjudging my approaches with girls, depression, sadness, self pity, sleepless nights, guilt, anger at God, short temperedness, increased loneliness, missing socials, a virus and serious scare when I thought I’d be in trouble with the police due to a virus pretending to be an official police warning, nearly getting scammed out of some money but getting most of it back fortunately, and fearing I would become a paedo. Not an impossibility for pmo addicts.

Also having no motivation while my life passes me by.

Life has passed me by to some extent but not entirely due to p addiction but it’s played it’s part. How messed up. How sad.

Positively life is much better on a streak and I’m enjoying the clear headedness, the absence of shame and self pity, reduced loneliness, reduced ocd and more confidence and hopefully ‘peace with God’ I think so anyway.

Now I am in a position to tackle the procrastination and move forward with my life.

Preemptive:

Shut down sexual thoughts, memories, fantasies. Shut down any websites, ads, YouTube if anything on those pages causes me a personal problem. Obviously No ■■■■ fishing.

To maintain contact with my acc partner who has been a great help and encouragement and I think likewise I have been a support.

To use clearing actions to handle urges: use this app and read posts, write a post, go for a walk, apply ice or cool shower, pray, meditate on scripture (haven’t really been doing those last 2)

Read anchor vision again

Listen to audio recording of when I last failed (I have at least 2 of those)

All of this and my recovery should continue.

[Rebooter81]

[debellator]

brilliant work, loved reading your entires. Keep conquering

[Rebooter81]

[Rebooter81]

Thanks nice to have some feedback are you part of a programme? I’m following Mark Queppet and I’m paying monthly for his reforged man course (been a bit slack with that) and his forum which is a bit like rewire except everyone is following the same journalling method (mostly)
Also 2% club have a zoom meeting but it’s 1am to 2am Fridays but it’s free and encouraging

[Rebooter81]

30 days clean, will write more tomorrow.
Haven’t experienced urges today that I’m aware of.
Yesterday’s zoom (early hours of Friday) on the 2% club fight the beast was encouraging.
I keep odd hours so that time didn’t bother me but if I get into a routine which I need to then attending this will be harder but I will still have the reforged man zoom to attend which is at a more sensible time.
Direct feedback from Heather re: my questions in the chat was helpful: both being busy with work or unemployed as I am can both pose problems it’s either the pressure of too much busyness and maybe certain practices get missed eg journalling or the sheer boredom of unemployment potentially and all that free time which can equally be a problem.

*Personally I think mindset is the deciding factor.
Have you decided to quit? Have you had your last ever pmo session? Will you fight tooth and nail to stay clean? That’s the mindset that conquers
Are you willing to lose a night’s sleep to urges if that’s what resisting p0rn takes?
I think you’ll come to realise it’s worth the effort to go through this.

I took some other notes from the zoom:

Working towards a date eg birthday, 90 days helps
Write down 3 reasons you want to be free every day
Visualise yourself as a p0rn free man
Visualise the marathon of overcoming pmo and so be prepared mentally
Try fasting from something… I am already eating quite clean

Atomic habits book