I am feeling like a loser now. After 38 day streak I again maintained 13 day streak without any chaser. I was full confident about it. I was doing good. But subconsciously I repeated the same mistake again which I was causing my relapse earlier. I am really feeling like stupid now.
Have to keep moving forward now. I have been experiencing life much better without the masturbation. Focus are good and at multiple times I didn’t want to sleep wanted to study 24 hours.
I know I will succeed ultimately. Meditation has been a huge help for me. I can see many times thoughts arising in the mind.
I feel like I’m all talk. I am certainly far better place than earlier. But that’s not enough. That’s for sure. For the past two relpase I was able to hold it to 13 days and 10 days. No chasers. But they number of days I am holding start decreasing again. My mind has become like it itself start signaling me next day to not do relapse again. I mean I can see the effect of meditation. I am also regular with workout routine.
But I do some mistakes which causes me to relapse. It’s mainly due to women in my life. When I start pulling away they start texting more. They start meeting you even if you try to avoid them. And my mind start telling me it’s not bad to have some fun. I cave and initiate but that causes the relapse. I know for sure again next 10-14 days I am not going to text anyone or talk to anyone out of anger at myself. But after 10-14 days I get over confident and I start to do the mistakes.
I am feeling I am again falling into a pattern. I hate that fucking pattern. It brings fear inside.
Yeah bro I have to go cold turkey. No women in my life at all. It should be strictly professional relationship. 100 % agree with your line that “our imaginations are the highest of urges”. I have to sink in these things in my mind properly. I feel one text won’t hurt. But like everything else it leads to a chain reactions.
I am not really love with anyone. And deep inside I know that these things are only hindrances to my goal. I don’t want to spend even 1 minute on these things but I still do it.
Thanks man for your words. It will certainly help me.
This is very deep bro. I can relate with this incident. Not with this smoking. But related with chasing women. I thought one initiative won’t hurt. But it lead to 2 years of mental torture for me. And after that I had to work extra on myself to let go all the past pain and regret.
Dear @anon65589122 I am not in a position to advice you but I can share my experience with you.
At first we think we can control urge& lust and initiate things but we fail miserably later. We want work to be completed (Saadhya) but we do not want to take necessary procedures (Saadhana) to make it happen. We want to achieve our target streak but we lack discipline, loose interest and enthusiasm afterwards.
So, basically we should never test our confidence. Never. Never test your will power. Second thing is, never make causal relationships with women…never waste time on women. If she’s your girl, the one woman than its great. Go for it. But, if there are many, never waste time on them.
My Case:
Before starting Brahmacharya, i used to chat with girls. Flirt with them, seduce them but that caused so much urge and I nearly nearly relapsed manytimes. But, God saved me. Then, I decided to observe Brahmacharya. I than build up courage to block her in smedia and phone and texts. She called me coward…cried…but i simply listened to save my soul… I have also not talked with girls (romantically) in smedia since i started brahmacharya. We waste a lot of time in chasing women. Many women I fcd in my college days and used them for money and s*x are now in better position. Some of them are married to better guys and are well settled. But my condition is under average. I wonder sometime whether i am the same guy or not. If I hadnot chased girls in my college days than i would be in a far better place. Lust made be underemployed. My condition is very miserable now. I don’t like average girls (bcz i had relationships with great women already) and good looking girls don’t give me a fuck bcz i have become a mediocre guy.
So @anon65589122 don’t waste your time and youth in chasing woman. We spend so much time , youth and energy to create memories and later those memories haunt us.
If I were you, I would go for Brahmacharya till I reach my goal …if not than i would go for 1 precious woman only.
Lust kills career, relationships, talents and skills.
@debellator I feel cheesy to get in very detail. But you know some girls who are not your professional partner and all. You start flirting you start talking in the direction which is fun but also makes your mind more lustful.
The problem with it is that you can’t suddenly stop also. If you start talking that way then that girl will expect next time from you. So It’s either going stopping completely.
Completely agree with you bro. All those things you have written I can relate to it. That’s really brave the way you are handling things. Thanks for the answer it will definitely help me.
Oh I understand. I talk to girls like that too but I make sure never to go sexual. Maybe some things might help:
Just remember-do you really think you’d enjoy a relation with a girl who’s willing to bed anyone who even winks at her? Some people are like that (of course, not all) so just make sure you think about that.
With girls, you should always make sure you never lead them on I am a bad follower of my own advice ugh but always make sure the boundaries are clear for both.
Yeah I mean girls can be friends too. I don’t know why everyone thinks all conversation with a women must inevitably end in bedding. That’s something I don’t get perhaps it’s a ideology thing.
Don’t associate real women with your fantasies either. They are very different.
Instead of going to the traditional route doing engineering and working in google remember you can start a startup any time. It’s already happening. Children who are smart enough are already doing it.
Due to internet there is no restriction now what you can do. We didn’t had that luxury. I had my first laptop when I joined Bachelor and even then college internet was so slow that YouTube was impossible to watch without buffering.
@Tagore You should check this out. It’s amazing how so many events are connected. Swami Vivekananda works influenced Leo Tolstoy then his works influenced Mahatma Gandhi. I didn’t know it.
Hey bro @anon65589122 , sorry for the late reply I have been busy with college matters lately. But I see that you got a lot of useful suggestions from our brothers. I myself am not in a condition to give you any advice. I relapsed many times in the last few days with hardcore p*** videos.
Stay calm and focus on work bro. Always look at everything from a compassionate angle. Self compassion is the only way for long term success. We are together in this
I only saw this now I know someone like that. One of my friends from 5th grade. Dude went and started (co-founded) an autonomous vehicle-making company in 8th grade legend he is for real
Yeah he’s a prodigy. Thing is, thanks to the great education system we have here, if it wasn’t for one of my teachers who recognised his brilliance in 2nd Grade, he would probably be much worse off today since other teachers thought he was a bad student but in reality he was just bored because we were learning basic stuff compared to what he knew at the time.
I have also not talked with girls (romantically) in smedia since i started brahmacharya. We waste a lot of time in chasing women. Many women I fcd in my college days and used them for money and s*x are now in better position. Some of them are married to better guys and are well settled. But my condition is under average. I wonder sometime whether i am the same guy or not. If I hadnot chased girls in my college days than i would be in a far better place. Lust made be underemployed. My condition is very miserable now. I don’t like average girls (bcz i had relationships with great women already) and good looking girls don’t give me a fuck bcz i have become a mediocre guy.
perhaps it’s a ideology thing.
I know someone like that. One of my friends from 5th grade. Dude went and started (co-founded) an autonomous vehicle-making company in 8th grade