Poypoy604's Diary - My first post here. Hi!

#1

22 yrs old.

Been influenced by my dad when I was young boy sleeping in parents room while he watch porn regularly while my mom work late night until I had my own room.

I know my dad used escorts when I got a call from a massage place in my home phone asking for my dad and asking if I’m 18. I was 17 at the time.

The worst memory I had was when he wiped the table using my head because there was some rice that fell from the plate. Years later when there was mess I made from the same table he did that to me, he cleaned it himself. I think he was saying sorry to me through his actions so I forgive him.

I used escort at age 18 a few times until 21, I was young and gullible then. Now I am wiser and can confidently say no I’m not that kind of person anymore. Its wrong! No urges there anymore.

I know lust had affected my Dad it made him more isolated and I don’t know why he watches exorcism videos sometimes which worries me. He also has good side he’s not perfect and he knows his mistakes and I think he’s a good guy who just had bad habits just like alot of people. I try to remember the good times with him.

I don’t blame anyone now because ultimately everything is your choice and the worst thing to do is to call yourself a victim.

I had smoked weed and pmo for years stopped weed 6 days ago and no urge or plans to go back. I thought there would be withdrawals but there was none. quitting weed is actually easy when your dealer doesn’t text you back and you don’t have friends that smoke.

Relapsed pmo after 4 days and on a holy Sunday which was such bad timing. Sorry God I promise to be better self control. I heard that the Fruits of the holy spirit, self control is always listed last because it takes the most discipline to master.

Thanks for reading this is the first time I wrote anything like this getting it out my head feels good like a new start.

And reading people’s words and success makes me realize it is possible and so worth it! I choose to have more time energy and internal drive. I make extra money as a portrait artist so to me it’s important that I have good character and good clean eyes.

I know I’m a good person that just had a rough start in life. I choose to say no and to crumple stomp kick lust until it’s gone and replace it with real love. Thanks for reading send me ur codes and advice please.

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#2

I am with you friend.

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#3

It amazes me how simmilar our situations as human beings are, i wish you the best in this journey mate.

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#4

I refuse to blame my father and be a victim the guy was alcoholic he got misguided in his life but overall he was a great guy, but i have made my choice soo i have chosen to stay away from alcohol as well, i will be the diffrence, its all about the choices we make.

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#5

Your father loves you no matter what he has done to u, we all have bad times in life, sometimes these situations succeed in controlling us, sometimes we overcome these situations, but If we lose to them, we just need help from others, like ur father needs your help now, I’m not asking you to help him stop watching porn, help him the way u see is best and makes you feel no regret, as a start you decided to forgive him, which is a good start, keep going and fight what makes you WEAK.

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#6

Thank you friend for your support

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