Porn and involuntary SSA

My name’s José, I’m Christian, 21 YO and I’d like to share some things about my fight against porn and involuntary same sex attraction in order to possibly find someone who also (try) deal with it.

When I was in elementary school, I was introduced to porn contents yet without access to the internet and knowledge about masturbation. After some years I discovered by myself and started doing M like it was normal.
I’ve never had any sexual experience. Some months later, I don’t know how to explain, but I started watching gay porn and feel attracted for that. I thought I was homosexual but I never accepted this because I don’t see myself doing what I watch, but my brain is addicted to these videos. It’s hard to explain… During this time, I converted to Christianity and by His grace I don’t practice masturbation for five years. Despite that I still relapse sometimes watching porn. In general, this situation makes me feel depressed and very introvert with other mental issues (I know that I need to seek psychological help for some of them, but I’m putting it off for a while I’m I finish studies). Sometimes I pray asking to never has be born, but I don’t want to die, I see it as a temptation from devil and seek fill my mind with His word. Every month or two months I have nightfalls with very strange dreams but not always related to sexual imagens.

Someone has already gone through something like this and have some advice or would like to talk?

It’s my first week here, I thank you everyone who are helping me and I really hope to overcome this difficult phase of my life.

God bless you all. Peace!

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Prayer has so much power when we communicate to God. Addictions are what separates our relationship with God but offering the problem to the Lord, asking help and repenting works wonders.

Also as humans our brains prefer to do one task at a time instead of multitasking. This being the case we can use this to benefit ourselves - the power of distraction.
Keeping busy l think helps a lot. Find activities to do so that you don’t have time to watch porn.
Activities like:

  • walking
  • sports
  • listening to music
  • watching TV
    Etc.
    One last key point. If you want to not watch porn make it a habit.

Eg: watching TV and suddenly sexual content flick to the next channel or watch another video.

Anything sexual that triggers you to then watch porn make sure to quickly escape that to not give you a reason to relapse.

I don’t know if this helps you but l wish all the best for you

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Yes, It’s only through prayer that I feel better and see His great goodness and mercy on me every day.

Fortunately I’m very busy in general because of studies but I really have to exercise me more and just spend time reading and resting in Him.

I use to spend some time on youtube instead of TV, but it wasn’t healthy and good for me so i’m filtering more the contents.

Thanks for the response @Mitchy all the best for you too.

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God believes in you, l believe in you and I’m sure everyone on this app believes in you. One day at a time, you got this and stay AWESOME :+1:

May God Bless you @josebr and keep you well.

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