Nofap: we talk without making fun of ourselves

My boys, anyone of us wants to know how to deal with women, anyone who wants to try a real sexual relationship with a person you have conquered (and not through escorts).
Beyond this you want to learn how to conquer women without the usual psychological blocks.
In short, to have the opportunity to “get if you want”.
To conquer without too much difficulty, just turn off the phone, leave the house and take a walk around the city ALONE. Then you have to find the courage to act.
Once you have done all these things, you will finally be able to debunk both sex and the fact of knowing how to conquer women, consequently you will understand the sadness of certain unfortunately widespread behaviors and ways of thinking and you will finally be able to love yourself, dominate yourself, no longer wanting sex at any cost but only when necessary.
Unfortunately, people need proof to believe, they have no faith, and often they need to believe in themselves first, increasing their self-esteem by making approaches with the opposite sex.
In order to get involved with women, it is a necessary and sufficient condition that you stop pornography, which is much easier than stopping masturbating.
I stopped pornography in January and have not started again, there are only relapses due to mere imagination.
By debunking both the conquests and the sex, you will no longer have reasons to fall on the Nofap path and you will have only reasons to continue Nofap without stopping and at any cost. You will know that you want Nofap and you will do everything to reach the goal. You will definitely understand how true it is that Nofap is what makes you happy and not sex but ONLY if there is the correct motivation behind it and the idolatry of sex and the frustration of not being able to do it is absent (as you will have debunked this act ).
Then the Nofap helps you to dominate yourself in many other aspects too and this will make you discover who you are, that you love yourself more and that you have a lot of respect and self-confidence.
The definition of MAN is not related to age.
MAN is the one who has dominion over himself, just like the WOMAN.
The WOMAN is not such if she does not dominate her own impulses for food, alcohol, smoking, drugs and sex.
Otherwise, both men and women would actually be forever children.
Children, as you know, do not know how to regulate their urge to eat and if you put a lot of good food in front of them, they would end up eating it to the point of self-destruction.
TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE, DOMINATE YOURSELF.

hey there :slight_smile:

are you open for a discussion o.O? if yes read bellow if not:

have a great day and keep that amazing streak of yours going!

bests

Summary

so you are interested in discussing i am gald :slight_smile: yey

i agree with the point that you make about PMO making people unhappy and there fore NOFAP beeing a path to happines/joy in life :slight_smile: great insight there and nice wording.

however i disagree with thwe following sentiment, and i think it is important to discuss it for the us and the community here :slight_smile: hence i actually bother to write this. i think that you made some good points above and are definetly inspirational with that:) so ty for sharing!

but

so frist of all your exampel/parallel. :

children actually knwo very well when they ahve eaten enough and are sated !!!
so if you put a meal e.g. noodle soup with veggies infront of them they will eat it until they are sated and not hungry anymore than they will be done… if you try getting them to eat more you havea very messy food fight and longterm cleaning operation on your hands (i speak from expreience :smiley: ) on the other hand there are quite a few foods that children even when hungry do not weant to eat e.g. some veggies since they are to bitter etc… so you will have a hard time to actually feed a hungry kid that will beg you for sth else to eat since the food they have in front of them is “not tasty” you will have to wait quite some time until the child is hungry enough to actually eat the “not so tasty food” but that time will come :slight_smile:

on the other hand there are foods/products children actually do not want to stop eating and even get bellyaches from etc…
you know what i am talking about → sweet, icecream baked goods … anything with sugar in it or sweetener.

here i think you have choosen a very good example :wink: since children do not understand/know what kind of longterm effects eating to many sweets will have on them they simply have the “biological/neuroglogical” response of hey thet is sweet= there is easy energy in that … huray lets eat as much a we can as fast as we can for we do not knwo when we will get some of that “high quality food again” — which we know is not an issue ind eveloped countries anymore :wink: - we can be really glad about that !!

so what i was trying to illustrate is that we only need to control ourselfs if we have to weigh our longterm satisfaction/benefits vs. our shortterm satisfaction/benefits → in these situation one hast to “dominate” ones urges in order to live healthly i am totally with you there but…
there is a caveat to this aproach… a major one…

“dominating” sth without understand ing the root causes of ones own behaviour can backfire in multiple ways:

  1. keeping dominating that part of your self will get more difficult if you do not geta correct substitute for the substance/habbit → so yat somepoint you will relapse… and ahve to start again… an endless circle
  2. when keeping up with the will power method you might encounter the following issue: you will notice that you ahve a hard time concentrating on things and need to constantly put in more effort than before to keep your daily operations/tasks/responsabilites going and you will get tired more easily.
  3. you -might- have an inside conflict withyour self for your personal weaknessthat appears wehn relapsing and you might develop hatred for the week part inside you that gets tired, bored, overwhelmed and is unmotivated to do th things that you want to do.

the three reasons above are just an excerpt from a plethora of problems that show up when one tries to “domiate” oneself.
because the human beeing is not built for periods of continus self discipline or control. we are wirde to develop working habits and stick to those as long as they benefit us more than they cause harm… (physicaly and emotionally → as in addicts typically can andutre a lot of physical harm as a traqde of for short times of emotional balance/wellbeeing).

so what am i trying to say.
you do not become a “grownup” man/woman by dominating aspects of yourself!!!
that is actually the way into adolescence and testing your limits :slight_smile:
you become a “grownup” by understanding yourself and capitalizing on that knowledge you have gained though past experiences/lessons.

to point out the diffrence. this is just a fictional examole to try and point out the idealistic diffrences :wink:
e.g. a PMO addcit who tries to dominate him/herself simply says nope no more PMO for me i am gonna do exercises instead and that is it. afterall exercise is health relives stress etc. etc. etc.
but here is the caveat… what if exercise does not satisfy all the benefits or remedies all the uncomfortable factors in life that actualy led to the use of PMO. → the “dominating” person will either
A.) Relapse as soon as there is to much stress due to some factors
B.) subconsciuosly pick up another habit/behaviour/substance (e.g. gaming, alcohol, partying,etc…) that satisfies the unmet need
C.) consciously try out behaviors that remedy this need → for thatr hwoever one has to actively understand that there is an unmet need that previously wa satisfied by PMO and needs a healthier outlet.

C.) is they way of understanding and learning and elads to mastery
B.) has a chance of oine ending up with behaviours that are even worse than PMO or its equal… however you cans till end up with sth that is healthier and more beneficial

what i am trying to preach here is that “dominating” or “control”- as i would prefer- is only a faccet of growing up the at least equally important part is to udnerstand and learn about yourself and adress ones needs in healthy manners instead of subcosciously doing things that provide short term satisfaction.

now this might ahve been obvious to you and evident :wink: so if it is great we agree on everything horay ;9 but if it is not i encourage you to discuss your aproach with me maybe we both can elarn sth out of that exchange of opinions!

i simply wanted to aid you in avoiding the trao that i fell in:
believeng that controling oneself leads to the path of happiness … it did not for me for me it led into an even worse sitaution thant before more selfdoubt, depression and exhaustion… but the path that i a on now… the one where i understand and accept my chaactersitcs sterenghts/weakneses is the one that braught me a measure of happines i ahve long forgotten.

best reagrds and thank you for reading!!!

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I talk about food with elevate dose of dopamine, like chocolate, ice creams, waste foods, that generate addiction.

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It was nice to read all these insights into my speech, which remove all the ambiguities of my speech.
True, of course it depends on the food in question.
Food that returns a high dose of dopamine will make it more difficult to control its consumption.
Regarding self-control, what you have said is very right.
At the first attempt to stop PMO (Point A) I entered an even worse tunnel, that is, the waste of money by going to escort. (Point B)
Then deviating from this danger zone I finally went from point A to point C, thus understanding my real need.
You have to satisfy your real needs, for example my subjective real need instead of porn and masturbation, is to believe that I can conquer a woman whenever I want and have a relationship with her, so that I have the power to succeed. and that it is the same as other people who “succeed”.
Try the real relationship, real experiences, prove to myself that “I can”, so as to realize that this is not essential for me, consequently also stop the desperate search for a woman and / or a sexual relationship.
This will lead me to go from point A to point C and from point C (which is the real need and not the addiction, so once satisfied it does not reappear) to nothing, therefore the eradication of PMO addiction, without me having to be the one hold it back.
So as you said, it is useless to use the “dam technique”, that is continence (because the dam can break), but it is right to use that of temperance, that is to put the banks to the river in order to divert its course but continuing to slide it in the desired direction. In our case the embankment carries the river from point A to point C. This is the technique you illustrated to me, temperance.
Your explanations are precious to me, because they derive from your personal experience given by the failure to use continence rather than temperance.

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