"Now from then on, here is what happened. (on Hardmode) I felt rebooted and very well when i hit 90 days, and few days afterwards. But,
From days 100 to maybe 135, i had some severe sadness and depression, but these things were not constant, they appeared and disappeared,
From days 130 - 145 i had some really really really hard urges and temptations, and heavy horniness, and i was feeling like i have relapsed but without the relapse itsself, i was also feeling some things that i used to feel after i was relapsing, and started having wet dreams again, and felt very sexually loaded, and my mind was getting uncontrollable, I was having flashbacks, and i couldnt hold myself, i was thinking i would relapse soon, this was bothering me in my head, but i held myself and restrained. So these days were really heavy for me, and i felt powerless, because i couldnt apply all the things that i used to apply when urges came in the past, I REALLY HOPE THIS IS PART OF THE REBOOTING PROCESS OR WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS … It seems i have underestimated it, because i thought that these things happen only in the beginning and pass away in the days where i was …
So i didn’t relapse. No edging, no touching, no nothing. It was only in my head. And i am glad of myself that i didn’t, and this is warning to people who get beyond the 90 days: Dont think its over and you have recovered, you can slip easily at anytime, so stay on point and be careful at all times.
Other than this, it seems to me that my brain fog is disappearing, i am able to think more profoundly and have that strenght of though again, which is great. I also feel more prone to contemplate.
I had stable energy and could perform tasks better.
My communications have improved even more. I feel very relaxed to talk to people and dont feel any hardships.
There are some days that i receive a lot of attention, and my presence is felt way more than before. Also i am talking to girls more, and they seem much more interested in me. Now it feels very easy to me to get a girlfriend, although i am not trying to, and i don’t want to for now.
The scheme of the Wet dreams: the last WD i had before the 90 days was on day 84. Since then, I HAD NO WD FOR 45 DAYS STRAIGHT !!! On day 129, i had one, and maybe this triggered the horniness and the other bad stuff happening with me. Then the next was 11 days after, on day 140. I thought, OH NO, HERE IT GOES AGAIN,i was hoping they dont become frequent again … So now there have been 21 days without one already. Which is nice, i hope it continues like this.
It seems i have developed some perseverance, since PMO doesnt seem an option anymore, its like something that is very strange to me, and i dont want to indulge in it in any way. But as i said again, we shouldn’t underestimate a serious addiction like this.
If i have to summarize, these 50 days have been predominantly and mainly hard for me, but there were positive things too.
Also, i am not very sure, but i think this could be my biggest and best result in trying to quit PMO till now. So as more days pass, i feel more motivated to go ahead, and Never Return There, feel me? And if you have any questions, you can ask me, i will try to answer them in the best way i can.
Also to those who are on the lower number of days and relapse often, i wish you to have the strength of will to abstain completely, remember, you get in this community not to just try and eventually relapse again then hate yourself, and go on with the awful things that destroy you, you get in this community to TRY YOUR HARDEST TO BEAT THIS ADDICTION and NEVER RELAPSE ANYMORE, AND GET THE BEST BENEFITS YOU CAN FROM NOFAP, and GET YOUR LIFE STRAIGHT !!! Everytime you relapse, you beat nothing, you are not getting away, you are still stuck. This should be the motivating mindset. We are here to help you as much as we can. ;D Go on with the streak and success ! ;D
