Who am I? I seriously have forgotten. What I am? Nothing.
This is whatever self esteem is left in me and that’s null. What have I not done? Hurted myself, my love, my life and whom not!
Man, I am trying for the last 9 months. That’s a freaking huge time for me. And trust me, from the last 5 years I have no achievements to share with you. Specially, the last 9 months I have not even achieved a penny. No growth in life.
Ah! Whom am I trying to tell my story. Even if any one of you is generally intrested in knowing that how porn devasted my life, do reply to this. I will make you feel the pain. Yeah! For sure I won’t be able to give you tips for streaks as am myself fighting. To be precise, it’s just now 0 days, 5 mins
I have lost my energy. So dozing off. Will fight this battle together. Here I will write my daily dairy and companions will surely motivate me.
Will talk about plannings for recovery and routine, tommorow morning.
Brother, we got your back. No one will understand you as much as we will. We feel your pain, we feel the helplessness. We understand. The very fact that you didn’t quit trying to break free even after failing for 9 months is motivation enough for all of us. Think of these as chains. All of us are bound. Some chains are stronger than others. Some of us are not as weakened by these chains as others. They break free faster and easier. But do know that each and every tug, each and every pull you make at them, they grow weaker and you get stronger. Bit by bit, piece by piece, little by little. There arr no chains in the world which aren’t weakened by time or sheer fucking human will to never quit. Keep pulling at them. Know that there are thousands by your side, fighting the same battles. We all will break free, even
if it takes years, because in the end, ■■■■ is not as strong as any of us. It’s just a weak, cowardly, pathetic little thing, which posed as our friend and won over us by seduction, binding us in chains.
Read this. It will change your perspective about relapses and bingeing.
DO NOT EVEN THINK OF GIVING UP!! You WILL keep moving, crawling, if it comes to that, even if you fail a thousand times. You have seen ■■■■ for what it is, you sworn enemy instead of your best friend, and that brother, makes all the difference in the world.
Day 5
I woke up with a mild headache which increases with time. Though the day was cool as it was raining all day and cloudy most of the time.
The headache didn’t let me complete my tasks in morning.
I took a break in the morning. From afternoon I started to complete my daily tasks and was quite successful in that.
Completed 4 hours of study Followed a healthy diet Limited phone usage
I am currently reading a book on Brahmacharya and I have to say that it really has the capability to change me.
Ah! These days the mood swings are just irritating me. Am sleepy now. Good night.
Bro. That’s a very powerful statement you made. I don’t even know whether I deserve that or not.
But really it boosted me to work again and increase my self esteem
Nice! The guilt and pain got away. I couldn’t wake up in the time I decided to. But it wasn’t late too much.
Was a little careless about things. Used the internet a little for college admissions.
The phone usage was much less than other days. That’s a nice achievement to boast of.
Am currently learning to ride a bike and enjoying this.
PMO had really made me so lazy and useless, I had no achievements from the last 9-10 years.
But now planning to stack success in line.
Praying!!
I studied also.
I know my journal is a little hapazard. Ok! Will try to organize gradually.
Peace everyone.
You deserve everything… You are not an inch less than anybody.
You are a very good human.
Love Yourself.
You are much stronger & Powerful.
Break the wrong self image… Wake Up to your Original character.
Completed 4 hours of study
