Brown semen, for first time in my life. For last few days, when I did 10 days row, it was brown. Today again it was brown. I have refrained entirely from porn but I think it’s risky for me to go this way.
Went to doctor. He didn’t point out anything serious but have same tests and results are yet to come.
I think it’s also because I never had expanded prostate. Like I fapped everyday. Now I don’t do that and it makes me more vulnerable. I remember how the pain began, on 8th day, I was having this feeling of I am about to burst under the balls. It was a funny sensation of being full. Doing exercises made it worse. I have always been doing exercises but recently I am pushing for running fast and cardio, which mostly involves legs grinding against balls. One rhythm is bad and it complicates.
Can’t sit. I am feeling bad about not being able to study. I will try to study while sleeping.
This is making me cry. 
Please get well soon.
I am feeling better today. Life is good, I am able to have mental control. And some rewiring has happened due to porn abstaining.
Took doctors medicines, pain is also reduced.
Happy to know that bro
This year, I have overcome so much. I don’t play video games anymore. I am beginning to study for 13 hours consistently. I am working out. I haven’t accessed my porn account since long back (yes I was a dammed collector of videos)
Too much liberalism is a problem. These ducks trying to tackle religiosity that condemns masturbation, totally take it other way around. Trying to say it’s ok to watch porn, fap etc. as much a person wants. It relieves them of stress. I believed all of it. I used to openly talk about porn and sexual health.
However, I was mentally a porn addict.
Now I searched more specifically, and I find countless problems with porn addiction and even research done about it. And as the famous dialogue from the wire TV series, only problem with liberals is they fucking lose everytime. So yeah, by all principles going good, if they aren’t socially accepted,they are no good. I was indirectly ostracized most of my college life due to this habit and social infamy (which ofcourse wasn’t open as everyone pretends to be publicly liberal in civilsed world, but I did realise none of them talking about it even if they watch).
I have changed so much. I feel rewired. And confident.
I failed today. It’s bad. Have turned back all filters for a change in routine. And build the confidence back. I will not watch porn ever again.
Rising up from toxicity I brought in my life. I am trying and will always as long as I am alive. With this problem, another and everything else. To reach my true potential and be able to speak out aloud, what I believe is right and actually implement that in the world.