After the relapse,(3rd november 2020 at 11:30 p.m) took some time to look back and figure out what happened. Found the mistake, the same mistake which i am repeating for around 4 years. The pattern is same. Hence The solution is simple.
Every successful person has started from zero. So, i have.
Day 0
Let the climb begin. 
Day 1
10:50 a.m.
Urges at night, strong urges when i woke up. Suggesstions, sexual thoughts imagination, i reminded myself of this journey and won.
Did my arms workout with loud speaker music.
Won over urges in evening.
Slept at 5:00pm in evening and woke up at 7:00 pm. I have a full stock of fast food in my almirah which i ordered online. It gives me some dopamine.
Enjoying with sister family. Watching a rafa match at 11:00 pm.
Be very careful… Chaser effect can be awful.
Day 2
Huge urges in morning. All sexual memories came. All kind of suggesstions, somehow managed to stay strong. After 1 hour gathered strength to stand out of the bed.
12:00 pm
Again the urges attacked, this time dick got erected and it got realy hard. Managed to choose the right path.
Well, i know all this hypnosis & this suggesstions are not going to make me feel better because they never had. It is like from far away in the desert i am getting glimpse of water and i am dying of thrist when i reach there, only dirt is found. The body still remains thristy.
I have to cross this dessert without falling for the mirrage.
Urges are not going away. Why i still want to take that path when i know it is opposite of where i suppossed to go !!
This is madness. Am i mental !!
I want to work on my life problems and pmo is not the solution to my problems.
I know if i follow these suggesstions, i am going to regret later and will cause more damage to myself. This is torture. Hell.
Usualy i have a clear decision but this time because i have just had 1 orgasm. No. So. Here is the pattern. I do a long streak of a month then i gave up the journey and relapse. After it on an average i orgasm for 4 times after a big relapse. Then after watching all that i can and then after completly emptying myself of the energy. I began again.
This time i relapsed after 7 days in part 2nd. And now it has 2 days. So. The pattern is kind of messed up. Fuck up the pattern. What about me ?
These patterns have destroyed me. These habits. This addiction. It has drained me completly. I like to cry 
When i see something emotional i nearly want to cry. Life never was this low. I feel myself a fly trapped in this life web. I think i do stuff but i am wrong. Nature is forcing itself on me. It is forcing me to reproduce. It dont care if i am ejaculating on porn or inside some women. It is just forcing me to ejaculate. The time when i was a kid was much easy than this. Life has become hell after my dick started ejaculating.
This is real hell. So, what am i choosing now ? Still i am confused. Confused. I must take more time to finalize the decision.
Help me guys !!
Help me !!
@Aanand_vijay Keep fighting. Monitor of your laptop isnt good place for ejaculating. Be serious bro!
Urges will never go my friend, never. You have to learn dealing with them. Everytime I hv urges, I said ok, now fuck up.
Just don’t respond, and never ever touch your hammer. Don’t even think to touch it.
Initiall stages are hard obviously. But you can’t get trapped in same cycle, right?
You don’t want to keep relapsing every couple of week.
Once I myself wrote a short note in this app, after tapping that relapse button. I expressed there how I felt after relapsing and how I will be better if I never relapsed that day.
I wrote all those things which I feels after relapsing, for myself. Whenever urges got too high, I take a look on it. Feel my notes, and somehow everything went normal.
I get to realised why I am here, what I want to be. I’m so happy, that in my current 20 days of streak, I never need to read those notes again. They all are in my mind and keep me connected to my goal.
It kinda weird, but works for me. Talking to self works, always.
Don’t run away from urges, else they will catch you one day for sure.
Say them NO courageously, fight and beat them. Say NO and get back to your work, don’t wait to think something or sit free…else these things recirculate in your mind.
Every day you wake up, look yourself in the mirror. And visualize your goal, your passion, your love one. It will create a +ve energy which help you throughout a day.
No, you’re not mental
you’re not in hell
You’re a fighter and you are fighting against your older version.
It’s okay to relapse after trying, just like falling down while learning walking. It’s okay buddy, don’t blame yourself.
Everyone who have long streak was there, everyone. They try and win
Don’t let your urges control over you, its your choice okay. Say Fuck you bullshit, I won’t let you control me.
Lets start again buddy. I know it’s your day 1 but I’m sure its better thn your previous day 1. You have more energy and courage to fight this time 
Thank you a lot @Alex @udaCisie
I survived last night guys, and i feel better today. Now, i am going for cardio. Its day 3.
Great to hear that you win one of the first battle 
Day 3
Did intense cardio in morning. Today my head is clear. No urges.
Bathe and washed the old underwear which was full of semen.
Made pop corn and eat with aamras.
So let’s be the first sign of your new life 
continue bro so you won’t have to do the same again.
Dude …I can relate to all this…but since I started doing some Hatha yoga and meditation, I must say, much of my thoughts and my body are in my control…my longest streak is 6 months…
I suggest you to take up reading and yoga. It will really be a game changer. All the best…
Day 4
Did my chest workout.
Enjoying fruit juice with snacks.
Listening Geeta.
Important Lesson 》Do your work sincerly and leave rest to god.
It is easy to control the lust in the very beginning but it becomes hard when lust has found some roots in the soul and it becomes impossible to save ourself after the lust has grown into a big tree.
Hence,
The very 1st step/measure is crucial in prevention of a relapse. When we choose to let the urges penetrate and we entertain it, it becomes more dangerous.
I’m curious how far you can go this time
Slept in evening, having urges when woke up,
Trigger warning 
Suggesstions are coming to see some videos of that kind. Getting that memory flashes, it looks so good from this far away but we all know what happens when we fulfil these desires, we get nothing but a lot of damage to ourself.
This all starts when i see my reality and i have this stress of guilt that i have failed many times and though i try to show myself some dreams but when that house of dream breaks and i face with my reality i usualy take shelter in porn. Actualy it is not even a shelter because in the end we all know we again start our streaks.
Why do we start again ??
If it was a shelter, an escape from our situation. !!
Yes. We start again because we feels cheated and our illusion ends. Again some dreams start and we begin chasing it. We are never leting go of the dreams. Why i cant accept myself ?
I must accept myself and start working on whatever i am Today.
This is my true journey.
This is sincerity.
Again, urges at night 10 p.m
Drinking milk & going to sleep now.
Be strong. You are stronger than urges. When they appear just think about something else.
I have joined you in your journey,
When you have urges, feel free to talk to me.
Sorry guys, i typed the sexual words in search box. From that moment, urges become unstopable. So, after 5 days end of part 3