My story, lessons, failures and hopes

Hello forum,

Let me start with ablittle background. I’ve been battling porn addiction for a long time (decade +). I always knew it was bad for me before I heard about nofap so I used to stay away for days regularly but still ended up relapsing from time to time.

After learning about nofap and its benefits I started to build more willpower and motivation to stay clean. This resulted in multiple 20+ day streaks and some that went to over 50 days. However I have never been able to go beyond just shy of 2 months.

Recently with the covid lockdowns and me being single again, has made it much easier to relapse and I find it hard to go beyond 5-7 days on average without looking at pornography.

Now let me state a few observations and experiences from my journey so far and perhaps this helps others or perhaps others can help me -

  1. Blockers don’t work for me. I have tried extensive blocking and as my streaks get higher, I figure out ways around the blocks or use a vpn or another device or just use a tor browser (its that bad). It seems to me that the only blocker that works is a mental one.

  2. Comfort zone / idleness. If I get free time or just get too comfortable and lazy with where I am in life, it is very easy for me to convince myself to relapse just that one time, cause I think I have nothing left to lose and things are going good.

  3. Isolation / quarantines. These are the worst. In my experience, a social life, friends and going out into the real world and meeting people has been my biggest motivating factor to stay clean. Now that is non existent and it really weakens my will to stay clean.

  4. Ubiquitous access to high speed internet in an overly sexualized world. This is a strong contributing factor and staying offline is not a practical solution.

  5. Being single. This is my Achilles heel, if I don’t have a partner to be faithful to, its easy for me to “cheat”. Its easy for me to indulge in pornographic content for artificial satisfaction of physical needs.

Considering these points, I have reached a point in my journey where I need to be able to be successful at hardmode (no partner / gf as of now), not fall into idleness and comfort zones and manage to stay clean while still using high speed internet with triggers and traps everywhere.

This seems to be increasingly difficult and even knowing how bad porn is, how amazing long streaks are to my quality and experience of life, the relapses become more frequent.

The one thing I have not tried is an accountability partner. Other than that, I’m running out of ideas and I am hoping successful nofappers here have some pointers for me.

Thanks for hearing me out.

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I was too. Even this forum’s accountability wasn’t helping me much, was not lasting more than 10-15 days, and then someone here recommended me this book

It worked like a charm, it will give you the required nudge. I didn’t even feel urges in the beginning because of this, and by the time the effect of this book fades away you become strong enough to handle urges.
I am at day 109 rn, and fairly confident never going to watch p* again in my life.
You have already tried everything why don’t give this a try. Open this link in browser and you can download the pdf or epub version of the book by clicking on download symbol in the task bar.

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Thanks Samanranjay, I will try this, at this point im openbto anything to break out of these repeating relapse patterns.

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Then give it a serious read, read it as fast as you can, the pdf version is just 108 pages, won’t take long. Wish you all the best.

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Yup, already started.
Thanks.

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Hi @Samaranjay in how many days did you finish the book…like how many pages did you read on a daily basis.

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Hey @awakeningplanet
Pretty much what @Samaranjay said, I’d highly recommend that book too. I’ve read it like four or five times, to really deepen all the principles mentioned there.

The book is based on Allen Carr’s “Easyway” method, which essentially, is based on mindfulness, like other books by Allen Carr. There’s also a book by Allen Carr on mindfulness specifically (can be found on http://libgen.rs/). Speaking from my experience, it’s often the case that PMO is one of potentially other addictions or bad coping mechanisms that a PMOer can have (social media, streaming services, food, etc.). That’s where mindfulness helps you see what is actually there and break those patterns. Books about stoicism are also great reads.

Take care.

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@_KarmaYogi I was fed up by that addiction so I took a day off to read this book, I read it for 6-7 hours that day, I was able to complete 50-60 percent of it in a single day, it was enough for me to get rid of that addiction. After that I just read the remaining part by reading 10-15 min per day, then I listened to the audio book once when I was about 30-40 days in my streak while I was travelling somewhere.

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Same here I’m 50% through the book. This is a gem of reaource. Every thing I have observed about my repeating relapse patterns is accurately explained along with the psychological traps. Should have read this years ago.

Will post any insights / updates once I’m done reading fully.

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Yes exactly, it has the solution to every kind of doubt regarding PMO addiction.

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I have all the same observation in my case as you mentioned above I can relate it @awakeningplanet

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I’m not visiting your diary until some personal success in my life :mask::raised_hand:

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Lol :joy::joy:, you took it too seriously, good.

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Don’t laugh… If you laugh I’ll also laugh and seriously it affect my sentiments :triumph:

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:sweat_smile: I was just trying to motivate you.

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I bookmarked your msg… already for that purpose

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Nice :joy:, it served its purpose then. Prove yourself man :+1:.

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