Let me start with ablittle background. I’ve been battling porn addiction for a long time (decade +). I always knew it was bad for me before I heard about nofap so I used to stay away for days regularly but still ended up relapsing from time to time.
After learning about nofap and its benefits I started to build more willpower and motivation to stay clean. This resulted in multiple 20+ day streaks and some that went to over 50 days. However I have never been able to go beyond just shy of 2 months.
Recently with the covid lockdowns and me being single again, has made it much easier to relapse and I find it hard to go beyond 5-7 days on average without looking at pornography.
Now let me state a few observations and experiences from my journey so far and perhaps this helps others or perhaps others can help me -
Blockers don’t work for me. I have tried extensive blocking and as my streaks get higher, I figure out ways around the blocks or use a vpn or another device or just use a tor browser (its that bad). It seems to me that the only blocker that works is a mental one.
Comfort zone / idleness. If I get free time or just get too comfortable and lazy with where I am in life, it is very easy for me to convince myself to relapse just that one time, cause I think I have nothing left to lose and things are going good.
Isolation / quarantines. These are the worst. In my experience, a social life, friends and going out into the real world and meeting people has been my biggest motivating factor to stay clean. Now that is non existent and it really weakens my will to stay clean.
Ubiquitous access to high speed internet in an overly sexualized world. This is a strong contributing factor and staying offline is not a practical solution.
Being single. This is my Achilles heel, if I don’t have a partner to be faithful to, its easy for me to “cheat”. Its easy for me to indulge in pornographic content for artificial satisfaction of physical needs.
Considering these points, I have reached a point in my journey where I need to be able to be successful at hardmode (no partner / gf as of now), not fall into idleness and comfort zones and manage to stay clean while still using high speed internet with triggers and traps everywhere.
This seems to be increasingly difficult and even knowing how bad porn is, how amazing long streaks are to my quality and experience of life, the relapses become more frequent.
The one thing I have not tried is an accountability partner. Other than that, I’m running out of ideas and I am hoping successful nofappers here have some pointers for me.
Thanks for hearing me out.