My Confessions and Experiences

Confession
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These 9 days are more satisfying :relieved: than 28 days of Streak with Peeking, Edging, Watching p@rn without Mast… And orgasm in September 2020

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62

Hello guys

From Now On after a while
I am Continuing where I left off before festive season

Even a Peek of P@rn from now on In my life
I will mention just by Entering Day, it is different from My counter because I only count My Masturbation In my app counter
So here I will Mention my Counter Without P@rn
Because it will give me a clear indication of my progress

63

Currently I’m at Day 2 and as far as I remember My Highest Streak without P@rn is 7 days in my lifetime from when I started Watching Regular P@rn in my life from last 9 years

I am writing new Script in my life after 9 years of P addiction :blush:

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It was July August of 2011 when I started Watching Regular P in 11th Standard of My School

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Since then I binges P for hours and then Mas…
Lot of times I watched P for hours and Didn’t Mas…
Because I thought that Mas… Is more detrimental for my health as compare to Watching P…

But Now I realised who was the real culprit :pensive:

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66

I peeked at 23:25 after 4 days :pensive:

Now listening to Easypeasy audiobook

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67

Again Fell Down, I peeked in Afternoon watched some erotic vids…

I am struggling to Avoid from MO…

After restraining from watching porn From Many days I am going through Some Serious And Evil habit, I have been Objectifying Someone from Opposite gender from many days

I am Fantasizing about her From 1 and 2 days, I know This is Lust and I don’t want to indulge in this habit

I am Avoiding MO from 9 days But This Evil Lust inside my head is ruining my mind that’s why I peeked to porn :weary:

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68

Buddy similar thing happened with me , Just meditate and take cold shower , it will go .
And if this thought comes again just do the same, it helped mr to overcome this problem

69

Yaha Itni thand hai kaha se le cold shower :unamused:, @Dean_Ambrose Sometimes It’s hard For me, I want myself 100% clarity in my mind, I don’t want to Objectify anyone, And reality is I am Fantasizing about some stranger Girl in my neighborhood, This Is worse Than watching Porn :cry:

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70

Lol Yeah I know its winter season in INDIA ,
But u have to come out of your comfort zine

71

My mind didn’t work and Feel Sexually aroused, Seriously This feeling is worse than Porn, First time in my life I am experiencing lust in my mind :pensive:
It sucks

72

Stay calm and see what your mind is imagining about that girl, but dont act on it .
I have gone through this and I know its extremely tough to observe these thoughts but not impossible.

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73

Day 9 of Avoiding MO don’t have any value if this happens in my mind :confused:

74

I can’t tell those dirty imagination, But I will follow what You said
Thanks Mate :+1::pray:

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75

My mind telling me That Do MO imagining about her without Porn…
But I know That This will give just short term break from lust but Eventually In long term this hunger of lust go up, so I don’t want PMO

So Mind Says P is safer and easier option so I watched P :pensive:

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I want completely off from PMO, But this Fantasies don’t allow me to do that

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I started Because

  • I want myself to be a Man of Character, integrity
  • This is biggest Black spot of My life, So I have to eliminate this Black spot
  • I want to be present In Every Moment , Living life in the present to the fullest
  • Be a responsible Human Being

What I want to overcome?

  • Want Complete off from ■■■■ and Masturbation intentionally

Remembering Bad Moments

  • I killed 10 years of my lifetime related to this bad habit directly or indirectly
  • Procrastination , Watching Hours of ■■■■ ,Heavy usage of ■■■■,
  • Cheated to my Parents(Elders) Under disguise of Studying, I watched Hours of Shit :cry:
  • Resulting Being Non Performing Asset(NPA) of My family :weary:
  • Loses Tons of Confidence
  • Missed Lot of employment Opportunities by avoiding studies despite being Good In Studies
  • Messed Time Management in life
  • Sexually Objectification of Girls(sometimes) - Worst Habit , Really disturbing
  • It made me depressed. Because I feel it was bad but I do repeatedly which made me feel Chronically Low always.

Much More Here to Write , I will add more more , Reasonable Enough to Remind whenever I fall

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78

Watched 3 Hours of Shit , worst day of life in recent times.
I watched at afternoon before Writing Above Post
3 relapses in a date. Worst day for a reason
All I did before Writing above post

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79

I am recovering after indulging in 11th year of Habit,
I understand it takes time to get heal
Actually This P… browsing started in End of 2010 and I got used to it When I was in Class 11th Upto August 2011
I was just 15 then and I am in Standard 11th, So it was obviously very early age to get used to watching P…

But This Habit was made an addiction when I graduated in Mid of 2016 at 20 years of my Life…
Just Golden Period of Anyone’s Life
High Speed 4g Mobile Internet Revolution was nascent at that time, And I Used Excessive Data to get my fantasies in seconds of time,

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I am Tech Savvy Since 2006 and get easily Attracted to gadgets
My motivation for good job before 2016 was to afford internet 247 in my pocket, But just At September 2016, Free Unlimited 4g Data Revolution happened and important Motivational factor destroyed because I achieved Data 247 without Doing anything