I just want to share my story with you guys.Here’s what porn and masturbation did with me.
I am 15 years old boy from delhi , India. I am turning 16 in this december. Currently in class 11.
I found porn and masturbation from my own. Noone told me about that but don’t know how , my body found it itself. I remember the day when I fapped for the first time ,I was around 10 or 11 years old that time and it was around 2 am and I was not able to sleep, I just started rubbibg my penis for 5 mins and something came out from it. I really loved that pleasure , I kepy doing it daily for years. I used to watch pics of girls even before that may be from age 9. Then I found porn and you know what happened. Tbh I am not that much adducted to porn , but masturbation is a more tough challenge for me . Even a photo of girl is enough for me to ejaculate in 2 mins.
But I guess my sister knows about me that I watch something wrong . Because 2-3 times , she has founded me watching pics of nude girls. She must have watched my history when I didn’t know about it ,so I left evidences for her .But she has not told to my parents yet , I am sure she is waiting for a right moment to catch me red handed. But sorry sis , I am not going to watch it again.
I am just not a PMO addict but I was addicted to games too but now I have control on it . I remember due to my game addiction , I got insulted very badly in front of my whole class by my teacher.I literally started crying in front of everyone.
But here’s somthing interesting , I am one of the toppers of my class. Not lieing but I have never said a curse word in front of anyone . “In mind” is the exception ofcourse. I just passed out 10th grade with the 2nd position in my class.Now I got admission in new school and I am now in different school from my friends. Due to online admissions ,my 3 friends got admission in one school and I got admission in the another one.But I am not very much sad because 1.5 yrs are left in our school life and their school is just a km away from me but Main thing is their’s is a Coed one (girls and boys both) and My school is only for boys. May be god wants me to be more attentive.
B/w I follow sanatan (don’t wanna hurt your feeling if you follow something else , you can ignore this paragraph, continue from next para). I have accepted every single god of all religions in my own way , but I still failed today. I literally want to be a spirtual person who can make other people happy.
I am having calcium deficiency from the past three months , due to which my jaw keeps making crack sound almost everytime. I am underweight right now . But after this all I still fapped today .
I just broked my 7 days streak and now I am on day 1 again. I can’t believe this that I ejaculated In navratri days . Feeling ashamed right now. My highest streak is 18 days which I got in january.
I want to share one more thing , I had a huge crush on my maths teacher. I was mad for her. She was so cute to be a teacher. Earlier , In january I was doing Nofap only for her. But she got married in that month , due to which I relapsed again , That was literally the worst day of my life. From that day ,I am still trying to do Nofap but failed everytime.
It’s only 42 days left in my 16th birthday and I want to give a present to myself with a streak of 42. That’s all I can say for today . Sorry for such a long story but hope it worth reading. I would really appreciate to read your stories of life too.
If u have any suggestion for , U can definately say it to me.
Thank you very much.