Dear friend, it’s been a year of discovery of self and quitting porn or trying to.
This has led me to many learnings. Some of you may be knowing me I was active on the app a year ago. Throughout I have changed a lot.
My situation a year ago
- I had never had gone without porn for 3 days before
- I used to get triggered by sounds from real world about porn
- I had over 1 tb of porn in my laptop.
First steps
- I started writing a journal on what triggers me. Everytime I feel craving for porn, I will note it. Later I will try to think on it, why was it a trigger. With such thoughts the halo around porn was destroyed. I will actually write reasons for why craving it stupid.
- I watched many YouTube videos on deaddiction. The lessons during relapse are crucial, don’t try to cover them under rug. Even if you couldn’t resist watching porn, reason it out while watching porn, what is your behavior. Think on what was it in this porn that brought you towards it. I observed a lot, and I found that remembering a particular porn is an excuse, because I hardly stuck to it once I was watching porn.
- Joined fortify. They have excellent videos on recovery.
Achievements
- I could go on no fap for 13 days. It’s huge for me from where I began.
- My academic performance improved, I am looking towards clearing upsc CSE mains 2019.
- Focus on day improved, self control inculcated.
Lessons
- Porn is unnatural, to our brain. It destroys our natural neural pathways that shape our view on sex. It was not masturbations, but porn, that impacted and tired my brain.
- Without porn, the brain slowly improves world view. But porn is a sign of lack of purpose. Our brain needs work, intellectual stimulation. Pigs are like 1% intelligent to humans, but the pet guide for pig includes intellectual stimulation. If they have nothing to play they get irritated and may even attack owner. Same goes for us.
- Don’t just quit porn, build your life. Quit all distractions, social media, YouTube, games, news which are source of distraction to you.
- Highlight why you want to do it, objectively, with changes you can observe. The best no fap streak I saw of over 1 year, the person who did it was sad. He said, he is not going back to porn, but where he is going he does not know. Don’t be that guy. To me my purpose was clear, scoring good in upsc exam.
The damage to brain is most significant part of problem. Don’t shadow it with any drama on super powers or attracting other women. It will always be you, just aim for best version of yourself. Porn is very structured stimulation, damages the brain and ruins the interest in real world. The process of quitting porn and changing life style has to go hand in hand.
You will learn compassion, ability to think deeper, grow emotional intelligence. Btw vulnerability to addictions reflects poor emotional intelligence, need to improve ei if you want to be successful person, quitting porn by beating yourself is not the way.