My addiction is hurting more than me

I made an excuse to leave the house tonight so I wouldn’t be caught watching pornography.
When I got home, my wife was on the floor, sobbing. She was in so much pain from a recent injury that she couldn’t even get up to reach medicine.
I still feel sick to my stomach that my wife was in so much physical pain because of what I chose to do. I can’t imagine the emotional pain she has from my addiction.
I feel so awful right now. I have to do better. I have to be better.