[M 28] Weir's Diary : Addicted from last 19 years

Yes I am 28+ years old and addicted from last 19 years from f TV to dip shit hardcore extreme stuff, like cuckold etc

I am trying no fap from last 4 years , my last best was 58 days 4 years ago but I have been very serious from October 2018

I am hoping to update this thread daily atleast once,
Here’s my report from October 2018, I discovered rewire companion app just last week and using it actively from yesterday


My sharing code is : b5m3hr

Ok just woke up from sleep, had very crazy nightmares where I myself is taking real drugs and much more things which I just don’t want to write it’s super crazy shit, I also had taken zma last night but I am having vivid dreams from past several days.
But after taking zma oh my god the dreams reached to another level
Nonetheless dream is dream and reality is reality , so I just want to make today is as productive

But it’s 7pm here and I am still not productive

Keep trying hard man, well done so far

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Thanks mate

so today’s update, its day 44 sunday

today is shittiest day because i slept in morning instead of night feeling very tired, i must change some of my habits to be more productive

i will post some of details later the things I am going to or done today

Day 45 Monday

Ok so I woke up today earlier than before and slept ok
The thing which I experienced yesterday I have been craving for all of my life because I know that I have low self esteem but I don’t know how to cure it but yesterday first time in my life actually beat it , yes nofap I really work guys it actually works
Yesterday experienced it two of my very long enemy was in front of me and I didn’t give any f*** about it and they were very curious to talk to me but I didn’t give any shit before that I was behaving like beta male which is very kind sweet but today I feel alpha male which don’t give shit about any cold hearted people who don’t care about me despite my making several attempts with them but they always thought about themselves I know that they don’t give respect to me but I don’t know why I always sweet talk to them didn’t express myself that I also don’t give shit about them but yesterday it happened and actually for most of you it’s not a big thing but it’s very big thing for me myself and my self esteem


Day 48 Thursday

I unable to write anything past 2 days because i was outside of home, On Tuesday Amazing thing happened my cousin which never so frank with me ride with me on bike & we both went for coffee, actually my relation with anyone in family wasnt that good but nofap obviously boost my confidence we have great time

On Wednesday that is yesterday i was very tired anxious but had some productivity at late night, using of phone was too much on Wednesday 3+hours only on whatsapp :frowning:

Ok now Today Its 15:30 PM here I woke up at 13:clock130: pm lol, maybe its because i took medicine yesterday night for sleep because of anxiety & depression problem.
I havent done any productivity today but want to cut of dopamine releasing agents like
digital detox of phone for 2hours
No More movies
No TV Shows
No More Time Waste On SM
Aerobic exercise
Learning new work things
Learning sewing my button
& many more
I will comeback tomorrow tolet you know what i did & what i didnt do

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Hey weir. I love this story. Really glad you’re able to stand on your own two feet. You’re doing great and you’re seeing the benefits. Keep going, we support you and believe in you!

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Thank you my friend for your kind words,

So it’s day 50 Saturday

Good thing about this morning is that I woke up with Rock solid morning wood, then after sleep again I don’t know why, but my sleep quality is increase after starting this journey before that I was struggling for good sleep so it’s also good benefit
In sleep I saw very vivid sexual dream that’s very hard hitting just like I am performing and with both genders so its shows how f***** up my brain became with PMO I realise after waking up that thank God I haven’t had wet dream, also I saw my old friend and I going to theatre to watch p*** film which I have in past lol
Talking about productivity last night I done a work which I am resisting from last few days finally it’s done I am hoping today will be my best productive day, all the way I just woke up at 1:40 p.m. let’s see how rest of my days goes

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Day 51 Sunday

For fatigue and less energy yesterday I had taken multivitamin and zma , the amount zinc is way too much, which disrupt my sleep at night,
I again tried to sleep in morning 10 am which , because of sleep disruption my body heat increased
Results in wet dream happened on day 51
Last wet dream was at day 26

Day 52 Monday

I dont know why but I am feeling way much tired lazy I cant even write this, my sleep schedule is messed up, i needed to fix it & also need to do some stretching & exercise, Today I will report every hour or two so bear with me, I need to beat this laziness , tiredness & fucking fatigue


Keep on hanging on, brother!
There are better days lying ahead of you on this journey

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First of all I want to say sorry that I didn’t write anything from last 10 to 11 days it’s not because I was very busy or I was very productive it was just sheer laziness

So I will write today’s activity
First of all yesterday I slept at morning because I was wasting my time on watching movies :disappointed_relieved:
After I slept without praying morning prayer I got very extreme past memories dreams

After I woke up I just waste my time on my phone and after that lunch then I edited some religious good videos to be upload on YouTube
After that I pray all the players in home except 4th one
Then I paid money 2 buy a camera
After that I constantly check this app and WhatsApp and I will show you the amount of time I spend on phone yesterday but only one minute left so I can’t show today but I will definitely show you tomorrow thank you gotta go bye

Diary entries should never be forced. If you feel you have something to share, then do write about it. Don’t worry about not keeping us updated, feel fair about yourself and that you do the right thing. Important things first, then go all the rest.


Ok yesterday was actually very emotional that’s why I got some nonsense things sorry for that but today I will keep it very short and small and all important updates
Woke up at 7:30 a.m. after that I pray then I have worked something on my PC
Today I wasn’t very productive because I again slept after 9:00 a.m. to 1 a.m.
Important update is my dream cycle I got very normal drink it was vivid but not about my past memories which is good
After that roam lot in city to purchase and with friends someone network marketing shit didn’t argue with him but I actually shocked after seeing the plan it was a network marketing plus ponzi combination scary shit
Then lot of time wastage not on phone but socializing which is also a good
Tomorrow I am travelling so tomorrow is also won’t be any productivity

But good thing is I am not thinking about PMO which is major benefit
Have a good day

You need to become Alpha now.

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Update after 1 year 2 months since I created this thread

I have relapsed after completing 333 days.

It’s been 2 days since I am clean


3 day clean :grinning:


4 days Clean. I will make this 4 days into 40 for sure


5 days clean, just 2 days to complete a week

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I am on this forum for more than 1 year. I had great steak of 333 days & currently I am day 51.

Today I got an Idea to further improve my life.

  1. Breaking Bad Habit (fastly)
  2. Thinking Decision (fastly)
  3. Implementing new habit & completing task fastly.

I will share here my journey daily. I successfully Break or not. What I complete the task or not (fastly)

I am using word fast because I am too much lazy person. I tend to reward my self for every task. But That process was slow as hell. So now No more rewards. My improvements & my discipline is only my reward.

I know this thinking will wear off soon. That’s why I am making this thread so that my friends here will support & remind me.

So let’s begin.

  1. deleted android games from server