Hmmm, what to say? What to write?
My sins are obvious - lust, which I obtain by social media, sites, words, thoughts, ideas and glaring, directed at strangers.
My other sins aren’t obvious - not being honest and accountable, keeping my word - making use of why I’m here. I need companionship here.
I’m arrogant, and think I know better. I don’t fight and am not competitive - I prefer to be alone.
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Daily motivation; knowing I’m not alone
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Having urges. Finished work for now - got some other jobs on my mind for 4 other clients.
Room, lighting prep - for Wednesday. Easy/quick
Tech prep - awaiting me. Out of my comfort zone.
Transcribing new project, remixing 1st project, additional work on current - at my own pace.
Re-editing?/checking something that probably doesn’t need fixing. Not fixed.
Room prep - tomorrow
Tech prep - can wait
New project?
Current?
Remix - tempted to do.
Re-checking - can wait.
Breath, check myself - Yes, definitely.
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Fri 1st Dec
I was away for a couple of weeks. Busy, occupied, in a new place and in good company - I had no urges or boredom. I didn’t even smoke, as if addiction is 80% mental.
Now I’m back, I lapsed a number of times.
I’ve been bored, had lots of time alone to wonder about my future and the future of my relationship and of work.
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Tues 5th Dec
Not looking so good lately but being honest with myself publicly seems like a good start.
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Is that you in your profile picture?
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No, just some other super awesome charming hilarious and handsome dude
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Wed 6th Dec
Day 1/30
Foolish behaviour
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Thurs 7th Dec
I’ve failed myself this morning, but good sleep to look forward tonight - to wake refreshed and the choice not to pull the trigger.
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Thurs 7th Dec
I’ve spent a lot of time procrastinating lately, sometimes it can’t be helped. We could be alone at the end of a day, it could be raining, or waiting on something - so I ask myself, what better ways to procrastinate?
Busy this evening, early night as possible. (Morning plans? Make them tonight) …afternoon work with client.
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Fri 8th Dec
Day 1/30
It feels like a lots happened since checking-in.
I went to church this morning. Various things, jobs, errands, work and chores throughout the day, but I lapsed numerous times by scrolling on my phone alone, wasting time in my room - easy when working from home 
I’m failing to keep on top of it, and need to make a firm resolve
Thanks be to God
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Sat 9th Dec
Day 2/30
Stumbling through the day, but blessed with more resolve to combat temptations.
Good work day, good supper, good night - Thanks be to God
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Sun - Mon 11th Dec
Day 4/30
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Tues 12th Dec
Day 0/30
Fri 15th Dec
I know what I must do
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Sat 16th Dec
Did what I should’ve done days ago.
Now I begin anew
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Sun 17th Dec
Sat in my comfortable spot and peeked as I do in my usual habitual manner.
I began to remember “once you peek, you keep the images, and peek again later” so I clicked off, and did other things.
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“Fuck the urges” @Idonotmasturbate
I really like that kind of attitude and inspired.
NoFap is easy -
Only difficult when sitting on the fence.
Your highest streak isn’t x amount of days, but more like 10, 11, 12, 13 years, some 30+
Right? @Vortexkicker
@Riky92 does that answer your “stupid question”?
It’s actually a thoughtful one.
I didn’t fap until about 13 or 14,…and even then it wasn’t a constant thing.
Only once I had lots of alone time could I dive into that world.
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I was 29 years and 10 months when I masterbated for the first time.
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