Hmmm, what to say? What to write?
My sins are obvious - lust, which I obtain by social media, sites, words, thoughts, ideas and glaring, directed at strangers.
My other sins aren’t obvious - not being honest and accountable, keeping my word - making use of why I’m here. I need companionship here.
I’m arrogant, and think I know better. I don’t fight and am not competitive - I prefer to be alone.
Daily motivation; knowing I’m not alone
Having urges. Finished work for now - got some other jobs on my mind for 4 other clients.
Room, lighting prep - for Wednesday. Easy/quick
Tech prep - awaiting me. Out of my comfort zone.
Transcribing new project, remixing 1st project, additional work on current - at my own pace.
Re-editing?/checking something that probably doesn’t need fixing. Not fixed.
Room prep - tomorrow
Tech prep - can wait
New project?
Current?
Remix - tempted to do.
Re-checking - can wait.
Breath, check myself - Yes, definitely.
Fri 1st Dec
I was away for a couple of weeks. Busy, occupied, in a new place and in good company - I had no urges or boredom. I didn’t even smoke, as if addiction is 80% mental.
Now I’m back, I lapsed a number of times.
I’ve been bored, had lots of time alone to wonder about my future and the future of my relationship and of work.
Tues 5th Dec
Not looking so good lately but being honest with myself publicly seems like a good start.
Is that you in your profile picture?
No, just some other super awesome charming hilarious and handsome dude
Wed 6th Dec
Day 1/30
Foolish behaviour
Thurs 7th Dec
I’ve failed myself this morning, but good sleep to look forward tonight - to wake refreshed and the choice not to pull the trigger.
Thurs 7th Dec
I’ve spent a lot of time procrastinating lately, sometimes it can’t be helped. We could be alone at the end of a day, it could be raining, or waiting on something - so I ask myself, what better ways to procrastinate?
Busy this evening, early night as possible. (Morning plans? Make them tonight) …afternoon work with client.
Fri 8th Dec
Day 1/30
It feels like a lots happened since checking-in.
I went to church this morning. Various things, jobs, errands, work and chores throughout the day, but I lapsed numerous times by scrolling on my phone alone, wasting time in my room - easy when working from home
I’m failing to keep on top of it, and need to make a firm resolve
Thanks be to God
Sat 9th Dec
Day 2/30
Stumbling through the day, but blessed with more resolve to combat temptations.
Good work day, good supper, good night - Thanks be to God
Sun - Mon 11th Dec
Day 4/30
Tues 12th Dec
Day 0/30
Fri 15th Dec
I know what I must do
Sat 16th Dec
Did what I should’ve done days ago.
Now I begin anew
Sun 17th Dec
Sat in my comfortable spot and peeked as I do in my usual habitual manner.
I began to remember “once you peek, you keep the images, and peek again later” so I clicked off, and did other things.
“Fuck the urges” @Idonotmasturbate
I really like that kind of attitude and inspired.
NoFap is easy -
Only difficult when sitting on the fence.
Your highest streak isn’t x amount of days, but more like 10, 11, 12, 13 years, some 30+
Right? @Vortexkicker
@Riky92 does that answer your “stupid question”?
It’s actually a thoughtful one.
I didn’t fap until about 13 or 14,…and even then it wasn’t a constant thing.
Only once I had lots of alone time could I dive into that world.
I was 29 years and 10 months when I masterbated for the first time.