Current streak - 0 days
Highest streak - 65 days
Age - 42
Gender - M
Location - UK
I’m creating this group for Christians who struggle with PMO to join me for Lent.
If you’re anything like me, you may fall so many times along the way that you wonder if you’re actually strong enough to leave PMO behind,
in comes Lent…
This is a time to fast, observe and be patient.
This is a time to bring all our problems to the altar of Christ and submit to being poor just like He was.
Lent is a time to set all aside, and to focus on The Lord in our daily lives.
To join this group;
You need to set aside all that weighs you down,
And check-in on a regular basis.
I think it’d be to rephrase “are you still addicted?” to - “Why are you still doing pmo?”
Why am I?
And what of my relationships?
Don’t they prevent pmo? They do and they don’t.
My big flaws have been because most of/if not all my relationships were based on sex for me. That’s how I viewed them deep down, behind all the pretense of being loving.
Read that again,… “most of/if not all my relationships”
There’s the problem right there.
That people move on from people. And why do people move on from people? Because those people don’t communicate their needs, and what they really think. And then everything becomes a pursuit for the self, and not the relationship.
People are in relationships to support each other, not use one another for one’s own pursuits. And that’s what I’ve spent years doing. Doing what I want.
It came to mind, nofap isn’t about winning as there isn’t a ‘future’ goal with it. It’s just here and now.
Getting your dream job, house, finances or skills are all goals you work towards.
If I wanna master a piece of music, I have to learn it, but nofap isn’t the same, it’s a label. You’re either a fapper or a non-fapper, Or a fapper that likes the idea of quitting (which has been my case)
Another thing came to mind earlier today, and it’s something like this; when I think of great men, I think of my priest who served for over a decade at my local church. But he’s the kind of guy who’d disagree, and admit he gets swayed by the world.
We all give into temptations; we get angry at other’s stupidity, and fall for feelings of self importance, but some people are conscious of their human flaws.
Nofap isn’t going to make you a master. Nofap is just a step in the right direction in one small area of life.
The biggest problem we face with nofap (as I see it) is how we trap ourselves into thinking we can still have our cake and eat it. Idolising women.
If someone asks you for money to buy food, take them to shop and treat them with abundance.
But when you leave, don’t flatter yourself.
Don’t make a plan to avoid mentioning, and if you do, be quick and willing to dismiss praise but point out your flaws, selfishness, pride, and greed, and how acts like that are easy and not true acts of kindness and or true generosity.
Generosity is giving when you have nothing.
“she asked, so I gave” it doesn’t need praise. It’s just a normal thing to do. Everyone has done it at least once in their life. And some more.
Don’t be afraid to do kind things for strangers.
And swallow and calm any good feelings.
Remember we aren’t perfect and we always fall short. We won’t always do good things, and we will always fall into being selfish.
Don’t normalise apathy, but normalise goodness towards others.
I don’t need to have sex or get married to anyone.
And as for girlfriends, that is just a label,
I have many girlfriends, at varying distances with different types of interaction. But it doesn’t mean anything other than being a friend to a female.
I should first work on myself again, and be in that place to give rather than filling a void, before I ever engage in the idea of marriage.
but I will persevere in The Lord 
