Hi everyone! Iād like to join in. I leave this app and forum for a while but I would like to try it again
SpiderWill
Day 1
9p23vg
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Relapse
No excuse, I peeked. Itās like Iām not even trying anymore. The second my brain says āletās do it,ā my self conscious goes āok cool.ā I canāt believe myself!
Day one is tomorrow Iāll think of something different when I calm down.
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Day 1,
Iāve relistened to terry crews ādirty little secret videosā Iāve filled myself with so much shame that I couldnāt function. I need to come to grips with myself, and forgive myself for everything, no matter how much itās effected me
The goal is still 3. I want to be focused once again. Baby steps
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Check In :
Day : 04
@Duran Sometimes I feel like @Keats to return back and all others like @HealingSpade @Sadus13 and so on ā¦to start everything from the scratch. I might have in a different shape today.Then I convince myself, itās too late @wall-e . Everyone left and busy in their real life. Since PMO never left on me, I need to live with it.
Just like this
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This feeling you are talking about isnāt unfamiliar for most of us here. This feeling belongs to shame. You degrade yourself, because you think you donāt deserve any kind of company. This is a lie.
Company for everyone is all around, but porn closes our senses to see what is the reality that is around us and weakens our arms to reach out.
Get rid of this feeling!
You made mistakes? Yes.
Do you deserve punishment? NO! Why? Because the punishent is in the sin itself. The punishment is what you are made by the sin.
Leave the sin behind and the punishment will fade away as you heal and stay true.
3 Likes
Day 2 check in
Duran what you said connected with me %100. Iāve built up a horrible feeling that Iām worthless and not going anywhere in life. I hate that Iām like this.
The hardest part about shame, is that itās a trigger in itself. I no longer have to see a trigger anymore. I just get the intense āit never mattered anywayā feeling. For the first time in my life, My heart has given up, and my brain is trying to hold it back. This is the worst shape my esteem has ever been at.
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Canāt agree more. Thank youā¦ have a good day!!
Check In :
Day : 06
I relapsed
Yeah that shame thing is so wierd. I have to find my discipline again because my will power to try is not there. It is there only in the times Iām feeling good, but when stress comes, itās over.
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@mphexpert I am not sure what was your previous streak. But if you can get over the previous streak then keep checkin again. That way you will be having a targetā¦each time you fail you are not allowed freshly starting unless you make some progress. What do you say? I know you can do this time. And i know this as well, we are not new people who is going to fail. I repeat, habits need to change other wise no point to checkin. I canāt always motivate you more, struggling this side as well. You are equally responsible to motivate others. Be that the gentlemen who made the promise when we all were new to this forum. Life keep hitting hard unless we make some commitments and progress 
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@Mickey07 welcome. But make sure to fight this time stronger. We can take responsibility of our own streak. Letās see who remains till 18 days.
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Day 11 check in
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Roger that,
I will not do check ins until I make progress. I will be here for motivating others but will not express relapses of small streaks
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Donāt get me wrong. Do update for instance, first time 3 streak you have relapsed. Then till you cross 3 do not start checkin i mean to say.
Pls add me
Now i m day 0
bail3z
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Check In :
Day : 07
3 Likes
M waiting for you hereā¦no more relapses please.
Check In :
Day : 09
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