LastElement's Daily Journal

Hey guys, it’s been 10 days since I’m abstaining from PMO (Hardmode). My highest streak was around 36 days few months ago and surprisingly I got a girlfriend during that streak. I used to feel really amazing and I felt like I was on top of the world. But unfortunately, we broke up after a few months due to some issues and I started to binge back on porn and regular fapping which lead to me getting back to the old person I was (demotivated, sad, less love and care for others).

Now, 10 days ago I started NoFap again and getting pissed off of what I was really doing to myself and then I decided to go complete Hardmode. I have already been writing down my diary on my phone’s notepad and I just came across this awesome forum in this app. It’s really amazing to read everyone’s journal and that motivates me to keep going on. I’ll paste the journal which I wrote down for 10 days and I’ll continue from tomorrow (Day 11) here. Good luck everyone and I’m really happy to join you guys.

General details:
Male
India
20 years old.

JOURNAL:

NF Diary:
Day 2: (29/November/19)
Today was a good day. I woke up early and went for a photoshoot and then I went to office. I had some urges after opening Instagram but since I was busy the whole day, I didnt focus on it. I felt a bit tired but I worked on making a good research/script for a shoot. I was pretty motivated. I’m still feeling a bit of jealousy and emotional. People still don’t respond to me talking. I had problems with eye contact.

Day 3: (30/November/19)
Had a sex/fap dream today and in the dream I remembered I was doing NoFap and I immediately stopped what I was doing. I’m really happy about that. I woke up early morning at 6 AM for a shoot. I was able to keep some eye contact while talking. I was happy, energetic and motivated. Less jealousy.

Day 4: (1/December/19)
I woke up with a dream where I opened a porn site accidentally and then I remembered I shouldn’t fap and watch porn and I closed it immediately. It’s funny how my brain has already started to trick me in my dreams. I also woke up early before my alarm. I’m having some urges than before. I felt tired and sleepy the whole day after a morning photo shoot.

Day 5: (2/December/19)
Felt very energetic. I shot pictures for Sochi Beach party. This was my first time to a club and it was amazing. I felt great. I met some good people and had fun. I also learnt new tricks and styles to shoot club photography.

Day 6: (3/December/19)
I came home from the club at 4:30 AM and went to sleep at 5. I woke up at around 12 and immediately I felt like washing my clothes. I can’t believe that I washed most of my dirty clothes, cleaned the bathroom, my room and changed the dirty bed sheets. It’s surprising how I felt productive.

Day 7: (4/December/19)
I just woke up. I had a sex dream today. I was motivated the entire day. I had a bad headache in the evening so I went to sleep early.

Day 8: (5/December/19)
Today was a good day. Even though I had a bad mood in the morning it wasn’t that strong as I used to get before NoFap. It was mild and it disappeared. I was also talkative today and people responded well. I was also able to not have much filters during conversations.

Day 9: (6/December/19)
I woke up exactly 1 minute before the alarm. I’m surprised how I can get out of the bed very easily now. I’m not lazy anymore. I even felt like meditating and stretching and I did it!! I feel awesome mental clarity and positiveness and also mainly motivation. I also feel like talking to people especially to the ones who I haven’t spoken to for a long time. I had a big shoot today at a school event with 5000 people. I was kinda nervous shooting in front of all these people. I even got onto the stage where the DJs were playing and all the 5000 people were watching and dancing. It was awesome and I didn’t feel tired at all after the shoot.

Day 10: (7/December/19)
Wow, I woke up before the alarm today also! But I fell asleep again since I was really tired from last night’s shoot. I am having some urges for the past 2 days. I just feel happy nowadays even if nothing new has happened. I also tend to appreciate even small things now which I never used to care about before NoFap.

All the best for your journey guys and don’t give up!!

Also, this is my sharing code. Let’s add each other and support each other!

Code: k7fwen

7 Likes

Hey! Welcome to the community man! Glad to have you join us.

Ya this place is kind of a hidden gem. I came originally from the NoFap forums, and while I salute the good work they are doing over there, there also tends to be a lot more problems because pretty much anyone can post, even if they’re not interested in actually being clean, or at least that’s how it was the last time I visited it.

Anyway, I added you as a companion. Feel free to add me back, my sharing code is a06153

Good luck with your journey man! I’ll be following your journals. If you have any questions about this community, feel free to ask me.

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Day 11: (8/December/19)
Morning: I woke up early today as well without any alarm even though it’s Sunday. My face looks so much smoother and younger. I’m really surprised to see my face look really clean and nice. Usually when I wake up, my face looks sleepy but nowadays I can feel the changes. I’m getting urges after waking up nowadays following with an erection. I never used to get an erection in the morning that much when I was a regular fapper.

Evening: I think I’m hitting the flatline now. Is it possible to get into flatline in 11 days? Anyone else experienced it that soon? I don’t know how but suddenly in the afternoon I felt a sudden change in mood and motivation. It was like everything went downhill all of a sudden. I didn’t think about porn, sex or anything. I just was doing my regular work. I’m getting thoughts from my brain like “It’s not worth doing NoFap. Go watch porn and release your stress. You will get out of this immediately” etc. I know my brain is tricking me and it needs that enormous boost of dopamine and it’s longing for it. But I’m never gonna get cheated by that again. Anyway, it’s okay guys, I’ll go through it :pray:t3:

2 Likes

Thank you so much man! I added you back as well. It’s amazing you’re at 104 days!! Great job man, I’m proud of you. Keep it up bro.

Also, I wanted to ask about flatlines. How often did you get it during your journey and how long does it take to leave?

1 Like

Of course man! And thank you!

Honestly, I didn’t get flatlines for super long, but I wouldn’t be concerned about yours starting at day 11, mine usually start around then as well and then last into the 20s. But it’s different for everyone and can change for different streaks.

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Day 12: (9/December/19)
I woke up early today as well without any alarms. I’m amazed on how I’m able to wake up by myself. I had a great day today. I went to work in time. I was able to speak to people with good eye contact and confidence. I started talking to people who I didn’t care about talking to before NoFap. I started feeling love for everyone. People like talking to me now. I clearly remember before NoFap, people would ignore my conversation or don’t reply to me sometimes. It used to make me feel unwanted and sad. But now things have changed, I feel great and happy overall. No signs of flatline today.

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Day 13: (10/December/19)
Today was a normal day. Nothing new except the part where I have become more social and people respond to me well. Oh also, I have started waking up early everyday now!! I usually struggle a lot to wake up even with loud alarms. Now, I don’t even need an alarm I think hahaha lol. Also, I can also notice me becoming more confident and happier everyday. I also tend to enjoy music to movies more than I used to. Not much urges so far.

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Day 14: (11/December/19)
I had a bad dream today. I opened porn and relapsed in the dream. It was so real and I got scared that I relapsed but when I woke up, I was so relieved. I was also feeling sad in the dream for failing. The entire day was normal and there were some urges here and there.

2 Likes

Guys, is it usual to get sex dreams/fapping dreams even after 14 days?

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Am not an expert in this matter and did not achieve good streak yet.

But as far as I know from my reading about NoFap, it’s completely normal to have those dreams, flashbacks etc.

And it’s completely individual. Some people may get it only in initial period and some other people get it even after 90 days.

But as @Forerunner says, the thioughts, temptation, desire and dreams are okey. What matters is whether we act up on those thoughts and relapse or keep ourselves strong and happy.

All the best for your journey man.

3 Likes

Day 15: (12/December/19)
I had another sex dream today but today it was more intense. At least I didn’t fap in the dream lol. It would’ve freaked me out. I’m still surprised that my brain is trying to trick me or maybe it’s releasing these urges through my dreams. I don’t think about sex or girls ever since I stopped fapping. The day was normal and the same as before.

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Ohh thanks man. I understand! Good luck to you as well!

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Day 16: (13/December/19)
I’m beginning to get some urges today and some flatline I guess. I’m losing a bit of motivation and confidence in myself. It just happened randomly, I mean my confidence shift. But still, it’s not gonna stop me. I finally reached Day 17 now!! I can’t believe it’s been 17 days already. Thanks to you guys especially. All of you people are like a backbone to me. Whenever I read your motivations and diaries here, it makes me feel good and keeps me away from urges and these thoughts. Thank you so much!

1 Like

Great job on getting to 19 days man! This is great :tada:

Yes don’t let that lower confidence get to you, you’re still just as capable as before :fire:

Hey about the dreams, I just had quite a terrible one a couple of days ago actually, and I get them pretty frequently. So I wouldn’t worry about it too much, although they can lead to some nasty urges, so watch out!

Anyway, hope you are doing well, stay strong :muscle:

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Thanks bro! It’s like NoFap is beginning to become a part of me now. I don’t think about it. I just get on with my life and keep working. I’m also really impressed and proud of you man. You have reached 111 days. Can you tell me what do you feel like? What do you think has improved the most in you after 111 days? Like confidence etc…

Ohh I see, yeah man, I keep getting these dreams atleast 3 times a week lol. It’s fine, I’ll make through it.

Thanks man and same to you as well. Keep going :clap:

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Day 19: (16/Dec/19)

Hey guys, I’m sorry I didn’t update for the past 2-3 days. It’s because I didn’t notice anything different. It’s been the same for these few days. That’s why I didn’t update anything here. But so far, I am feeling awesome and much much better than how I felt 19 days ago. I have a lot of confidence, eye contact, less speech problems, increased speaking skills, began to get morning wood, more motivation and control over things.

2 Likes

Day 20: (17/Dec/19)

I reached 20 days! I’m really happy and proud of myself. Thanks to everyone who helped me and motivated me through this forum especially @Aragorn and @Special_Bird

I can’t believe that these 20 days went by really quick. I have never felt this good before. Before NoFap, I used to worry all the time and think of all the flaws I have in me which lead to less or no motivation and confidence. But now, I feel normal. I feel like how a human is supposed to be feeling. It’s really beautiful. I feel highly productive, more control towards my emotions like anger, sadness etc, more grounded and centered. I have been having random urges but it wasn’t that strong. It also gave me random flashbacks of my ex but I avoided thinking about it.

Guys, don’t give in to your urges no matter what. It’s not worth the 5 seconds of pleasure you get from jerking off especially edging. We are always there for you if you feel down or sad.

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This is exactly how am feeling right now. Am on my 4th day only. I hope i will feel better as the counter progress.

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It’s fine bro, don’t beat yourself over it. Stay strong, it will subside as days goes by, trust me. You can do this!

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Am not being productive in these days bro. Continuously thinking whether I relapse or not. Am trying breathing exercise and meditation. But after some time, thoughts again come to my mind.

1 Like