Hey guys, it’s been 10 days since I’m abstaining from PMO (Hardmode). My highest streak was around 36 days few months ago and surprisingly I got a girlfriend during that streak. I used to feel really amazing and I felt like I was on top of the world. But unfortunately, we broke up after a few months due to some issues and I started to binge back on porn and regular fapping which lead to me getting back to the old person I was (demotivated, sad, less love and care for others).
Now, 10 days ago I started NoFap again and getting pissed off of what I was really doing to myself and then I decided to go complete Hardmode. I have already been writing down my diary on my phone’s notepad and I just came across this awesome forum in this app. It’s really amazing to read everyone’s journal and that motivates me to keep going on. I’ll paste the journal which I wrote down for 10 days and I’ll continue from tomorrow (Day 11) here. Good luck everyone and I’m really happy to join you guys.
20 years old.
Day 2: (29/November/19)
Today was a good day. I woke up early and went for a photoshoot and then I went to office. I had some urges after opening Instagram but since I was busy the whole day, I didnt focus on it. I felt a bit tired but I worked on making a good research/script for a shoot. I was pretty motivated. I’m still feeling a bit of jealousy and emotional. People still don’t respond to me talking. I had problems with eye contact.
Day 3: (30/November/19)
Had a sex/fap dream today and in the dream I remembered I was doing NoFap and I immediately stopped what I was doing. I’m really happy about that. I woke up early morning at 6 AM for a shoot. I was able to keep some eye contact while talking. I was happy, energetic and motivated. Less jealousy.
Day 4: (1/December/19)
I woke up with a dream where I opened a porn site accidentally and then I remembered I shouldn’t fap and watch porn and I closed it immediately. It’s funny how my brain has already started to trick me in my dreams. I also woke up early before my alarm. I’m having some urges than before. I felt tired and sleepy the whole day after a morning photo shoot.
Day 5: (2/December/19)
Felt very energetic. I shot pictures for Sochi Beach party. This was my first time to a club and it was amazing. I felt great. I met some good people and had fun. I also learnt new tricks and styles to shoot club photography.
Day 6: (3/December/19)
I came home from the club at 4:30 AM and went to sleep at 5. I woke up at around 12 and immediately I felt like washing my clothes. I can’t believe that I washed most of my dirty clothes, cleaned the bathroom, my room and changed the dirty bed sheets. It’s surprising how I felt productive.
Day 7: (4/December/19)
I just woke up. I had a sex dream today. I was motivated the entire day. I had a bad headache in the evening so I went to sleep early.
Day 8: (5/December/19)
Today was a good day. Even though I had a bad mood in the morning it wasn’t that strong as I used to get before NoFap. It was mild and it disappeared. I was also talkative today and people responded well. I was also able to not have much filters during conversations.
Day 9: (6/December/19)
I woke up exactly 1 minute before the alarm. I’m surprised how I can get out of the bed very easily now. I’m not lazy anymore. I even felt like meditating and stretching and I did it!! I feel awesome mental clarity and positiveness and also mainly motivation. I also feel like talking to people especially to the ones who I haven’t spoken to for a long time. I had a big shoot today at a school event with 5000 people. I was kinda nervous shooting in front of all these people. I even got onto the stage where the DJs were playing and all the 5000 people were watching and dancing. It was awesome and I didn’t feel tired at all after the shoot.
Day 10: (7/December/19)
Wow, I woke up before the alarm today also! But I fell asleep again since I was really tired from last night’s shoot. I am having some urges for the past 2 days. I just feel happy nowadays even if nothing new has happened. I also tend to appreciate even small things now which I never used to care about before NoFap.
All the best for your journey guys and don’t give up!!
Also, this is my sharing code. Let’s add each other and support each other!