Wanna talk about something I don’t really understand. (I’m open to change my mind if someone can give me a good explanation )
One thing I hear so often is to keep oneself busy. To plan the whole day and don’t leave time for any boredom.
I can see that this reduces urges or increases your streaks for one or two weeks. But what does this helps you? How do you plan to live your life?
Do you wanna plan every single day for the rest of your life (sorry I don’t believe that you only need to do it for 90 days and then you are rebooted. That’s not how it works. Ask the boys who relapsed after a long streak)
It’s just another way to circumvent the problem. You don’t wanna treat your porn addiction. You just focus your attention on something else. But once you have one single day where you find some freetime you will relapse for sure. Doesn’t matter if it is after 10, 90 or 1000 days.
Same thing applies to methods where you purely wanna power through urges. I did that too. I accepted a challenge and went to 60 days. I can tell you, These 60 days where of absolutely no use for my rewiring.
Rewiring can’t be measured in the length of your counter. It’s about how you feel, how you live.
I would always prefere being in my first week, with a good and healthy mindset, a battleplan, not only for the next few days but for life instead of a 1000 days streak which I reached only by challenges, and planing every day through and through.
Yes I can understand if someone says after a relapse or wet dream he is prone to binging, so he planes his next two days so that he doesn’t fall into the binge pit. But none of the advices I see are talking about that.
I just wanna help. I’ve been here for a very long time. I’ve seen many people rise but many more fall. I saw so many tactics fail.
The way I saw the most people failing is ignoring and not tackling the reason for your urges.