Very interesting thought.
These kind of thought process will help us work more on better things and good habits so that we can grow as a better human being.
Congrats for completing day 2.
Keep going.
All the best.
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Day 1
Trying to keep myself busy. Exams are ahead. Done meditation. Being disciplined. Hoping for the best. spent all my waking hours outside my room. Interacted with very talented guys who helped me explore more in my field of interest.
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Day 3
I adopted a positive habit of praying God . I did meditation. Generally , I study for exams at my room. But, I knew what was gonna happen. So I went to my friendās room where others were also studying , and together we did a lot of work.
Bathing daily with cold water helps a lot , to reduce sex drive. Earlier, I used to skip bathing, or did it at odd hours. Now , I started doing it in the morning which helps me a lot to stay active and energetic.
Successfully spent all the time outside my room in productive way.
Praying has helped me stay positive.
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Day 7
Yeah did it.
Done meditation, prayed God. Studied the whole day.
I didnāt stay outside my room the entire day as the urges got reduced in the room. But itās unpredictable. Next time, I have to be careful.
Today, I read about Elon Musk and his wonderful projects and initiative. It amazed me when I thought that how we are wasting our time and our lives and someone there is revolutionizing the entire world.
How small and crap stuffs, we are engaged into, we are just existing and someone is working like hell to make impossible possible and be immortal !!
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Day 8 and 8 days
The day was very depressing. Didnāt watch porn. Only jerked off.
Will start again tomorrow!
Jerking off will just add upto your depression. You might get a stress relief moment for a while then before you know it BOOM here comes depression but this time only with two times more impact.
Try to fight the urge , thatās the only way to get stronger my friend. Donāt give in, take notes , focus what triggered you and what you could have done from relapsing.
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Day 0
Jerked off in the afternoon. Was broke, sad and depressed. Watched some motivational videos. Realised that I need to work like hell to achieve greatness in life.
If you want to achieve something that you have never achieved before, you got to do things that you had never done before
It was 8pm . I got up. Gym closes at 9 pm. I could have given an excuse that I am tired. I stopped thinking and started doing. Went to Gym. Worked my ass off. In the treadmill, I ran too much. I never ran this much before. Then 70 crunches. Pull ups, till the moment when I was finally bathing in sweat.
It was a cool experience.
Even though , I couldnāt make it Day 0, but Iām satisfied that I didnāt let it go a waste.
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On A Very Long Vacation.
I will post as I achieve a wonderful streak
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Long time No see diary
I reached Day 3 for the first time in last 3 months.
I wasted 3 months of my career doing nothing but fapping. I failed But I learned many important lessons. Life is not easy. It takes a lot of consistent effort to achieve anything in life.
When I was stuck in the world of porn, especially hentai and porn comics, life seemed so easy. Things were so easy. Getting a girl is so easy. Anime Girls were really beautiful. Then I really craved for the power the fucking bastards had in hentai, the power of attracting a lot of girls . I knew it was not real, but at the same time I was desperately escaping reality
Then I came across Killgrave, Netflix MCU character who had the power to control people and used it to get whatever he wanted,money sex, power. It was so exciting. And wasted a couple of weeks just imagining how amazing and easy life would be if I had that power.
In all these events, I was just escaping reality. Whether it was that fucking mind control porn or time stop or girls crazy in the streets to get fucked, none of these had absolutely any connection to the real world I was living in.
And one day, the phone died, no electricity. I got hours to introspect, and I realised that it was not the first time it dawned upon me that porn is FAKE . Each fucking night in those 3 months, each time I opened a new tab or new site, the feeling that all of these were fake was warning me continuously. Sometimes I regretted , and other times I used the High of porn to escape the regret, the reality, but there was never a single moment when that feeling did not warn me.
Why? Because we are always choosing.
Each time we are choosing to Fap or No fap. Do or not do . Our life is full of choices. And while taking these choices, we always see the future to some extent, how is this way, yeah the other way looks good. But Everytime we choose. And once we chose one path, we still have the option to switch, a choice again. Again we choose not to switch. And this goes on and on.
After that day, I asked my fucking friends what they had been doing and oh my God , the shock was tremendous. I was about to have an heart attack.
One friend learned 3 programming languages with machine learning and data structure and algorithm
Others were doing tremendously good.
They had completed so many fucking awesome courses at coursera building their profile whereas I was jerking off.
Then I though what would I write in my CV and resume. Will the companies ask me what type of porn and hentai you have mastered watching?
FUCKING HELL NO
The blow I got was fucking BIG.
Well somewhere back 3 months ago, I vaguely remember my father advising me that time is important and this time will never come again in your life, so utilise it wisely but I could hardly make any sense of it then as I was in my own HIGH of delusional world that I created, far far from reality.
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Well Now it is Day 3
And the good thing is the lines under my eyes are vanishing. And now my eyes open wider normally .
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You can come out of this brotherā¦ Well now when you have realized the truth, donāt let your guard down nowā¦ We are with you, donāt fall for that again, it has taken a lot from our life, stolen our personality, made us emptyā¦ I hope you choose well! All the best brother 
stay strong!!
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Day 5
I read many self help books in the last 3 months. The 2 most influential books were Atomic Habits and Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck.
One thing that both the books mentioned was about VALUES.
Values are what define us. Our Values are who we are, and shape our identity. We never do anything that threatens our identity. Values are the real reasons why we do anything.
Say Example, in Death Note, the strong value of Justice, motivated Light to go to any extent just to establish an order in the society.
Elon Muskās value of giving this world a brighter future is what motivating him to work 100 hours work a week, sleep in the factories, and attend phone calls at 3 A.M. on a Sunday Morning.
We always abide by our values.
And hence, the real tragedy happens when we try to do NOFAP, but we strongly hold the values of instant pleasure and gratification. Thatās why we get confused. There happens brain fog. It is because we are waging wars against our identity.
So how to create Strong good values for our lives?
You Are What You Repeatedly Do.
The way you do something is the way you do Anything
>
Our VALUES motivate our actions, Our ACTIONS shape our Values. It is a continuous process. This means you cannot be lazy and doing NOFAP at the same time. Because, while being lazy, you value pleasure and while doing NOFAP, you value sacrifice of pleasure.
Shaping Values is not a process of a day, it takes a lot of time . You got to prove yourself, in every task you do, that you value HARDWORK over INSTANT PLEASURE. Your brain keeps a record of this and creates a database. When you have proved yourself enough, over a long period of time, then it becomes automatic. Your brain works according to the new database and it becomes a part of your identity.
DAY 5
Feeling Active and I need less sleep now 
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Day 6
Urges are disturbing.But I got to fight it. Triggers are everywhere. But thatās not an excuse
Often I see people making poor excuses . They relapsed because they came across a news paper ad that was lewd, or TV ad that was triggering. Similar case for Instagram or Facebook feed filled up with hot girls.
Dude you can never control your environment. When I feel like losing to the environment, I always remember about the expert in playing cards. No matter what cards he has been dealt with, good or bad, it is by his own effort, he always wins. Luck never decides the fate.
In the same way, no matter what the outer circumstances are, if you are ready to endeavour, you win. Because your fate now lies in your own hands.
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Day 0
After relapse, it was horrible. I had to sleep 12+ hours and eat a lot to recover my energy. But yeah that was not good but a valuable experience as I realised how much energyless life I had been living before , THE CONTRAST.
Though of the Day 0
Donāt set big goals. Set big sacrifices .
Every Olympian wants to win the gold. But not every Olympian wants to train 12 hours a day for 5 years without taking a single day off. Big goals donāt differentiate people. Big sacrifices do .
Dreaming big, a successful life, an amazing spouse, a good health is easy, whatās TOUGH is NOFAP.
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Itās always easy to say such things after relapse. But I like your view. Take from this relapse as much as you can, take this experience and avoid such temptations in the future.
Weāre all in this shit, but youāre extremely deep now. Do small steps so you donāt slip. Build your habits, add +5minutes everyday. Be patient and consistent. Donāt dissapoint me.
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This dude @Hubinho is everywhere, he is a real hero. I love you man.
Brother @anon98741803 I went through your diary. I felt like I read an inspirational book. You are a strong man with big attitude. Lets be companions. When strong men join hands theyāll become unstoppable. My sharing code - tn1ii4
What is yours?
Bro you started your diary on May 2019. Now its June 2020. What happened you had many relapses after that?
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My journey May 2019 to June 2020
I joined this forum in March 19, with a different account, which I had to close as I had got into useless quarrels with many fellow brothers in this forum.
I created this account 14 days prior to a very important exam in my life, JEE ADVANCED. I had 14 days streak.
After that I had a lot of free time and no goals. These two things combined becomes lethal for life.
The day I joined my college/ university, my parents literally cried and advised me to study sincerely, atleast in the college. I got emotional and hit 33 days NOFAP.
After first relapse, it became difficult to continue having good streak. College gave each individual 90 GB of high speed data every 15 days. You know what that means. And situation only got worse with time.
I attended one to one counseling. My mother sent me motivational quotes everyday. I prayed God everyday but nothing changed, for months. My situation was critical and I felt like crying every single day, but repeating the same mistake again and again.
Now you all would be expecting a turning moment that changed my life forever, a video or a person or an event. No nothing like that ever happened.
I waited long for something like that to happen but real life is a way different than movies.
And all this was when I was addicted to fetish. Real Porn I discovered in January 2020. And the next 5 months, from January to May 2020 was even more horrible. I thought what worse can happen in life, and it was this phase.
A turning point never came, but a turning phase did come. I started reading self improvement books since March 2020 and it took 3 months and I completed 4 such books. Those books provided me a greater insight to my life and motivated me to take up NOFAP #self-development seriously.
Reasons for failure
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No conviction in life.
There must be a reason or idea , greater than you, that you must truly believe and go any extent to protect it. -
Faulty values or beliefs
Values like time is important, pain over pleasure, etc. Bring good outcomes. Faulty values like pleasure, arrogance bring bad outcomes -
Lack of discipline and routine.
Without discipline, nothing is possible. The most productive ones are disciplined. You are disciplined when you do your task no matter how you feel -
Feeling of entitlement
Feeling you are special, either you are best among the rest, or the most miserable man on the earth, is something one should never do. See everybody is busy in their lives and no one has time to pity . No one is going to change your life. Dramatic events happen only in movies. -
Lack of introspection and retrospection
Introspection and retrospection lead to self awareness and self realisation .
And now Iām looking forward to creating a great life for myself learning from my mistakes.
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