Jesture55's Journey of NoFap [15 M]

July22.18: This is my first day after my recent relapse just last week. I got back up and decided to make a change. More exercising, completing assignments and basically anything that keeps me distracted. I struggled to keep a positive mindset, so I tried meditation. I wanted to keep a journal entry to see how far I’ve gone while at the same helping other people. My goal is to reach for 10 days since I have problems maintaining my streak. Anyways it’s 11 pm rn, so I will update tomorrow

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P.S: I will have to adjust my sleep schedule again since I sleep quite late sometimes. I think sleeping late effects our mood

I agree on that, sleep really do affect our mood. I do have a weird sleep pattern, I hope I can adjust it soon too to normal.

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Yeah well try keeping your phone out of your bedroom if it is the reason why you sleep late. For me I think it is best to have healthy sleeping habits, it keeps you fresh the next morning

I will update every 2-3 days, after all the point of NoFap is to change our habits to something good. If we keep checking on how much days we’ve been, it’s like we aim to reach a certain amount of days before we relapse again. We shouldnt focus too much on not relapsing but on doing more productive things.

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I am on day 4 guys. There is no turning back now, I made my decision in quitting porn and masturbation. Reaching for 10 days+ with no PMO

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Day 6: relapsed 2 times today until it starts to bleed. I felt guilty after that incident. Now I am feeling desperate again to get rid of porn. I can’t trust myself

So sad about to hear the relapse. I suggest you re-evaluate and analyze why you relapse in every detailed etc. Place, trigger, mood, situation. So the next time you’ll become more aware.
It’s really hard, I notice my brain gets bored So easily since i stop watching so I have to think ways to make it more attentive.
Remember the pain but don’t beat yourself too much. Like the motivational video said fail forward. Just keep fighting!

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Thanks for the tip. I already know why I relapsed and mostly it’s because no one is around. But the thing is I’m too lazy. I rarely exercise or meditate, but I take a lot of time in relaxing and procrastinating.

Don’t knock on me for what I’m about to say but this is from a place of sincerity. You’ve got to see any of the “reasons” for what they really are(being alone, not meditating): to put it bluntly they’re excuses. As to why I’d label them inexcusable justifications? Lack of adequate incentive. After all, addiction is a mindset game, much like life. If you really think about it, not PMOing is rather simple: Don’t jerk off to porn. UNLIKE much of life, you’re at the mercy to the whims of “shyt happens”. You got a semblance of control but ultimately its really a sweet mix of circumstance AND decision. Whereas, beating an addiction is literally just a singular decision. You’re in the driver seat. So ultimately you’re lacking the key incentive to quit, whatever it may be(building relationships, writing a nobel prize worthy paper, Space travel. watever it is). I’m sorry for sayin this but those “reasons” for relapsing, they’re thinly veiled excuses. Until you come to terms with that, quitting is more of an option and not a necessity. Until you treat it as a necessity to the tune of eating, sleeping, drinking water, you’ll never beat it. When that true incentive comes into focus, quitting is easy. Really easy. I’m there. Not even porn playing on a screen can trigger a relapse. Yeh its that easy.

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[email protected],
Remember that you’re here because you want to become a better version of yourself. NoFap is just one of these tools.
So think about what the YOU that you want to be would do, how his day would go, and what he wouldn’t do, and pick one or two of these behaviors and habits and make them your own.
I agree with @Luffychwan that mostly it’s just excuses. Since you mention sports and meditation, I guess that’s two things you consider important. Pick one and make it your own!

2 more things:

  1. Each day is a blank slate. Yesterday’s feeling and “failures” don’t affect today’s success. Start by picking a time to wake up and arise. Just by doing that, you have already taken control of the first thing in your life, in your morning, in your day. Already you succeeded!
  2. You relapsed because no one is around. So learn from it! I am able to successfully reach higher streaks just by keeping my electronics outside of my bedroom and only using them where others can see me! Maybe this habit, or a similar habit, will help you.

Remember, it’s not about willpower, but about habit-forming and becoming the Better You.
Even if the Little Devil in your head won this time, learn from it.
You can do it! :blush:

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Now when you put it that way I think my approach on my addiction is way off. Thanks for your advice

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You guys are awesome!
@jesture55 @Dori @babadu and @Luffychwan for your awesome point. Please add me 098993a

Sorry to Butt-in with some advise, but,
I hope “I’m lazy, don’t exercise, meditate” is not =
I should do this, this and this etcetera…
I used to “should” a lot, and it never helped.
If it does for you, then I’m glad!

I recommend saying the following;
Jesture is patient, Jesture is kind,
Jesture does not rejoice in wrong doing,
But rejoices in the truth…
You are awesome as You are.

Trust, the things you need will present themselves in-time.

“I’m lazy, don’t exercise, meditate” is something I used to say everyweek in the confessional. Haha!

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@Aoshigreen I’ve had you as my companion for a while xD. Good job on your 6 days and definitely keep it going. Seriously.
Add me: b02e6ec

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