First of all, well done on getting past 5 months of recovery. Keep going strong brother, there’s nothing for you in returning to that former life of darkness.
It’s difficult to advise you without a clearer understanding of what your issue is - that’s why our brother @RenegadeAu has been asking more questions to get more details about what you’re experiencing.
Your erectile health sounds good. What are your other activities like? Do you have a general good mood - are your dopamine receptors working properly so you can enjoy regular activities like eating and listening to music and exercise and connection with other people etc?
If you’re experiencing low dopamine too, I would say that you’re going through an extended flatline.
90 days is not a firm guideline for recovery by any means. It comes from the idea that it takes 21 days to form a habit and 90 days to make that habit a consistent part of your lifestyle. It means that it should be easier for you to carry on being successful in your recovery after that stage.
Everyone’s body is different. Recovering our health takes time and the body isn’t looking at our day counter and saying “Oh, he’s nearly at 90 days, time to start healing.”
It also depends on the level of addiction we were dealing with in the past. The frequency of PMO sessions, the length, whether we were edging or not, whether we watched multiple videos at the same time or not, the categories and types of pornography we were looking at and how extreme, the strength of the grip we had while masturbating, the age we started doing PMO, whether we have engaged in sexual relations or not, all of these factors and more play a role in how soon our bodies recover from the damage of PMO.
Some people will recover within 50 days from a great deal of the physical and mental damage they did while engaging in PMO. On average, most people find that they recover within 3 to 4 months, which is why the 90 days gets tied into the idea of physical recovery too. But others still find that it takes them much longer to regain their health, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years at the extreme. @CoffeeMan said it best, some flatlines can go beyond 6 months, which could explain what you’re going through.
In my own experience, the farthest I’ve ever gone without PMO was 252 days. During that time, i had recovered quite a lot, but I was not completely healed. In fact, I relapsed during a post-90 day flatline, which I wasn’t even aware was possible at the time. I was ignorant and believed the usual ideas that after 90 days I should be done healing, so whatever is left I must be stuck with. I assumed I was seriously depressed and just thought that if I’m going to be miserable without PMO, I may as well be doing PMO anyway. I essentially forced my way back into PMO, I wasn’t even having strong urges at the time. All terrible ideas, but we learn and grow.
Like @The_integrous_one said, the loss of lust doesn’t have to be a bad thing. When I was on that extended streak, my lust disappeared too, and I found the journey much easier to continue. But I still had attraction for women, and my erectile health was good. In my experience I found that I was more interested in forming a genuine intimate connection with women instead of a lustful one. I personally don’t believe that we have to be fired up with lust all of the time, for all I know that was a myth started to sell Playboy magazines back in the day.
You’re a young man in good physical health, you work out regularly, your penis is working properly, you have great testosterone levels and importantly, you are beyond engaging in destructive PMO behaviours. You are fine, and the longer you abstain and remain focused on self-improvement, your body will continue to recover with time. Don’t be discouraged or sad about where you are. Be glad that the damage of years of addiction doesn’t require as long to heal as it did to cause. Be patient and enjoy the process, you are doing wonderfully. Keep going brother.
