Is getting clean really worth it? My longest streak is 21 days and some odd hours, but during those 21 days, i didnt feel happy a single time. Infact i was worse off than when my ex was trying to kill herself and we were together. Ive hurt my family, put them through hell multiple times, my phisicality hasnt changed hardly at all, my mental acuity hasnt changed. If getting sober is so good then why havent i felt it yet? Why havent i seen the benifiets when ive sowed everything to reap them. Do i risk putting my family through more hell on a maybe?
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By my family i mean my mom dad sisters and brother. I do not have a significant other nor any children
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Thank you for being this honest — it’s not easy to lay out pain like that, especially when it’s wrapped in disappointment and doubt. What you’re feeling is real and very common for people going through recovery, whether it’s from substances, behaviors like ■■■■or compulsive masturbation (Nofap), or anything else that’s had a tight grip on your brain.
You’re asking the right question: Is this worth it? That’s not weakness — that’s awareness. You’re not blind to your suffering or clinging to empty promises. But here’s what’s often misunderstood:
Getting clean or committing to Nofap doesn’t feel good at first. In fact, it often feels worse. Why? Because you’ve taken away a coping mechanism — maybe the only one you had — and your brain and body haven’t caught up yet. It’s like being told the pain will pass, but no one can tell you how long it’ll last. That uncertainty messes with you.
You’re 21 days in — that’s not nothing. But it’s also not enough time for your brain chemistry to stabilize. Dopamine receptors, emotional regulation, identity shifts — those take months, not weeks. And during that time, it’s normal to feel flat, hopeless, anxious, even more depressed. It’s called post-acute withdrawal or simply healing. It’s real. It sucks. And most people relapse not because they’re weak, but because they think this numbness means they’re doing it wrong. You’re not.
Because it’s not instant gratification. And that’s the trap — the same brain that got used to fast relief is now expecting fast recovery. But that’s not how this works. There are benefits. They do come. But they come late, not early.
Let’s talk about your family.
You’ve hurt them — you own that. That takes guts. But what they want — what they really want — isn’t a perfect version of you. They want you here, alive and fighting, even when you feel like duh. Even when you don’t smile. They’d rather have you struggling and trying than gone.
So, is it worth putting them through more hell on a “maybe”?
Here’s the truth: doing nothing is not safer. It’s just a slower risk. Staying stuck in the cycle keeps them on edge forever. Taking the painful path to healing is frustrating — but it’s forward. That’s the difference.
And maybe this’ll hit harder:
You don’t need to feel happy to be healing.
You don’t need to be transformed at 21 days.
You just need to keep showing up.
The numbness, the lack of change, the quiet misery — it’s the storm before the shift. You’re not broken because you feel worse. You’re actually doing it right. You’re finally feeling. And that means you’re alive.
Let me know if you want to talk more about Nofap specifically — what’s real about it, what’s exaggerated, and what your goals are. But either way: don’t let the early pain convince you it’s pointless. You’re deeper into recovery than you think.
I’m here if you want to go further.
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I felt the same way. Doing NoFab can be a living hell at first days i think. I haven’t passed 20 days in a long time because of that reason. I am basically dull in those times and even recently those feelings of emptiness come and go but its been coming heavier the emptiness. Music helps me to be alive a bit and exercise.
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See it like working out and cleaning you eating habits. The first few weeks you get sore, tired, eat plain food and doesn’t see any difference in the mirror. Should you just stop training and eating healthy then? No. After a few months you’re gonna start seeing differences in the mirror and your tasting are gonna adapt and you’re gonna enjoy a healthy meal. But that takes time.
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My longest was 22, and I experienced a paradox. Time passed so fast in those 22 days, but even though everything felt slow in terms of life, I was not worried. There was no haste in doing work.
I hope you understand what I mean. Life was peaceful, even if happiness was not increased.
I did not worry about tomorrow, or yesterday, I was living in the “present” in those 22 days.
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Thats the exact opposite of my probelm
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May be because you don’t plan your day and don’t mind my words but you have nothing “serious” to do. Well, What do you do? If I may ask
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I go to work, i come home, i do work at home, i sleep. Thats my life.
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@FaithfulWalker has already given you most of the answers you need up there, healing isn’t instant gratification like pmo, we have different levels of addiction so ofcourse a person who’s been in for 10+ years, can’t have similar benefits in 21days like a person who’s been in for 1 year. But ofcourse small changes are there only that perhaps your expectations were bigger , you can only clearly notice them after losing them in a relapse
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My addiction started around ten years ago, and im 20 so deffinetly a too soon exposure but i think part of it is also i dont consiusly feel dopamine. I dont know if thats adhd or autism but i have both diagnosed.when i relapse, i actually feel that dopamine rush. I know thats what everyones addicted to but i havent said that part outloud yet so hopefully itll help by saying it
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If I have to answer it! Then it’s not worth it till you start using your time in productive habits. For example a swimming pool without water is not a swimming pool but even with water if not cleaned daily it’ll not be different from a sewage where waste dumps. So while retaining energy is good , it’s also crucial to use it to do something productive that can help you to get better like doing workouts, running, reading, or learning new skills. It will become worthy automatically
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Tbh! I am not doing anything actually everything seems hard i stop before even starting and basically living in the same loop. To end this addiction and to get better, I must take action otherwise it won’t be worth it!
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