Starting a new journey!
LIfe has been too depressing lately, I sleep when everyone start waking up and when they go for a nap after lunch then I have my breakfast.
At night I sit with my laptop watching random videos on youtube and then fapping twice in the interval to 4 to 5 hrs.
I don’t even bathe, neither do I brush my teeth. It’s disgusting to even write.
Lately I have got a feeling that there is no point sharing you problems, but I am going against my shy self to put myself out there and maybe find an inspiration from my brothers.
I need help brothers, I feel very very low at this point in my life.
Recently, I got a new friend, he’s an amazing personality. He has played state level cricket, was excellent in academics, has great communication skill and is never hesitant to take his stand. Completely opposite to me. Since I started talking to him, I felt that sitting in my room and watching random videos and not taking actions isn’t actually working out for me in my life.
Last year I had a girlfriend, she was almost an year older to me, she left me saying that she liked older men and wasn’t ready for a relationship at such a young age (she was 18 and I was 17). Whatever reason she gave might be true or not true but I felt that she didn’t find me interesting of a personality, even I don’t find myself interesting tbh.
After the breakup I started reading books, started exercising but later on when the I kinda moved on from the pain I became lazy and I started procrastinating like hell.
I have an exam coming (JEE) in 3 months, I took a drop year to prepare for the exam, initially the preparation went well for a month but then I even messed up at that. Now my studying has become a secondary thing, primary is that I jerk off twice or thrice a day.
I feel very ashamed, I was never such a loser that I have become now.
I feel sad but the sadness is so small that as an urge comes it fades away and as I ejaculate it comes back. I don’t know how can I break this cycle.
But I really want to.
Last month, when I got frustrated. I didn’t fap for about 12 days I was studying well, but there was a problem I was going no where, just sitting in my room all day which made me feel very caged and suppressed. I did the worst mistake of life, I showed anger to my mother and that’s the worst mistake I ever did. Later that day, I fapped in guilt and since that day my life has been the worst.
I feel very low. I don’t know how to get back, but I am ready to try and fight.
I remember a time in my life when I was at the top of my field. I was good at studies and was the most amazing, calm and handsome guy. But now it’s totally opposite.
One thing is for sure, I’ll get back, I’ll become the best.
I need a companion, so that we can grow together as brothers.
It’s a sincere request brother, let’s GROW together.
I have made a group called Iron Brotherhood, I sincerely request all brothers who seek help and want to help to join the group.
Thank you so much for you time.
mycoal
