Intro, seeking tips/suggestion

I am 26 years old, Male, grew up in a highly repressive Society. That and my slight introversion prevented me from initiating any meaningful relationship (just a friendship or romantic) with a female Homo Sapiens. I have male friends but in that area I have zero knowledge or experience.

I’m an avid reader. Started reading novels & shits from an early age. I discovered that I’m a hopeless romantic, fantasizing about a romantic partner, a soulmate. But in our society free mixing of boys and girls aren’t common and frowned upon, even more so in the lower echelons of society where people don’t have money or power to thrive in this world so they survive here and grasp religion with the hope to thrive in the afterlife, that’s the summary of the environment of the neighbourhood I grew up in. Add introversion and shyness on top of that and you get a nice formula of self destruction.
(I wouldn’t add the religion bit here if I hadn’t seen similar posts in this forum. This bit is for those persons. Hopefully they’ll read it & know they aren’t alone just like I learned from their posts and gained a little bit resolve to face the problem head on)

For the last 8/10 years I became addicted to pornography. I started consuming pornography in all its form. From light paperback softcore romcom erotica to hardcore videos, from free Internet videos to premium sites & studios, online forums and blogs of sex stories, Japanese hentai, mangas, weird ASMR style audio… every form of sexual gratification I found on earth, I consumed.
Add the growing addiction of Gaming, POP Culture(Movie, Anime, TV series, random youtube videos, hours on reddit, 4chan etc), I started losing countless hours on these whims.

Frankly, I didn’t consider this a problem at all at first. True, sometimes I’d feel a little guilty but mostly I felt that it was a normal thing to do. I was chilling. Enjoying life so to speak… But I had no social life, spending most of time in home. Becoming rude. My small group of friends became smaller. My career didn’t start as I expected. Got depressed. Stopped exercising altogether. I lost my physical fitness. My self-restriction capabilities non-existent. I became a slave of my will. My lust, greed, wrath, envy… Hell, I had 6 of those 7 sins, except pride. My pride vanished as I became aware of the hole I’ve dug myself into.
But after losing these precious times, I’m thinking about starting anew. A fresh start in 2020. For the last month I’m trying. I’ve already almost gave up gaming on computer and planning to do so on mobile but unable to do so until now. Trying to lessen and stop my pop culture intake. I’m gradually controlling my eating habit. Soon I’ll start exercising to regain my fitness.

But what I couldn’t manage was this addiction to PMO. I almost gave up and decided to live with it. But with a stroke of luck I stumbled upon the app, then this forum. I’ve just started today. Read the posts this past 6 hours. Hopefully I’ll be able to beat this addiction. The entry of this addiction to my life was the starting point of the downward trajectory of my life, the main driving force behind my ruin and I’ll beat it.

Sorry for the extremely lengthy post. I needed to vent somewhere. This isn’t exactly something you can share with friends & family :slight_smile:

If you’ve read up to now, thank you. If any of overcame something like this & have any tips for me, do share. My sharing code is 0cvmfq, if anyone wants to be my companion for my journey. Also if you happen to know any apps or forums to get rid of other addictions like screen addiction & others please let me know. God know I have plenty of those.
English isn’t my first language and I’m typing this long ass post on my mobile ( I’m afraid of touching my PC nowadays :frowning: ) I hope I’ve expressed myself clearly in the post and haven’t made any stupid mistake. Also, I think this post is following the forum rules. If not, let me know I’ll remove it… Pray for me…

8 Likes

Ohh my God, dude I feel the same, the society I live in is a hell on Earth just like yours. People have a huge problem with everything related to love or romance. We are one of the countries who consumes the most porn in every shape or form. I made a post about it not long ago, we can help each other is you want

1 Like

Welcome tlucifer. Good start! No, your post is not too long. Write as much as you need, in order to find out what had been going on in your life. I think we all recognize the downward spiral and the struggle to get out of this. The companion app helps me the stay focused. To be able to feel that this is a right way of living, no matter how the world is build on distractions, seeking instant pleasure and encouraging social media. Let’s live in reality. Less phone, more looking around. Less wanting what’s over there. More enjoying what is here. Right now. In this paradise of reality.

2 Likes

Actually your post was one of the post that I mentioned that encouraged me write about my own situation. So, thank you.

We can definitely help each other I think, if nothing but just for the encouragement at least.

2 Likes

thanks for your kind & encouraging words :slight_smile:

1 Like

Ohhhh you’re welcome :grin::grin::grin::grin::grin:

Welcome friend, you are not alone, we are together in this fight :grin: :v: :v:

1 Like

I added you to my companions, I feel as tho we have a lot of things in common, am 27 and I had this problem for a large portion of my life and like you 2020 will the year I stay clean the longest. Like you, this addiction has made me a loner, the only reason I had a GF was because I met her online a while ago and we broke up last year and since then I hadn’t had any other relationship with a girl other than friends. I had a son with my ex, and it gives me a lot of joy being with him but other than that am pretty depressed, although as of lately I on my 26 day of being clean and I have been to the gym consistently and I gradually feel better and better, I encourage to re start your gym routine as soon as you can because it’ll boost your confidence by a lot, and make the decision to stay clean, be committed about it and you will see how little by little you too will feel content with yourself and others will notice your change and you will be acknowledged by more people. I also game a lot less, since I spend about 2 hrs t the gym and I work so that leaves me less time for anything else, although I don’t consider the gaming part as bad as the porn/masturbating. I don’t think tht being on a smart device is bad, unless your using it in way that not beneficial to you, being in contact with online friends thru social media I great way of spending time that you don’t have anything to do. Idk my opinion.

1 Like

thanks a lot for your lovely words. Hope we’ll be able to beat it.

But I don’t know if adding me as a companion is a good choice. I couldn’t even cross two days before relapsing. It’ll just demotivate you I think :frowning:

You just gotta memake the decision to stop, like seriously, have a talk with yourself. Acknowledge that this habit is hurting you more than it’s helping you, and once you realize that than, why won’t you do something that’s gonna benefit you for the better?! It’s a no brainer really, unless your weak and you gonna let this stupid urge and desire to pull ur meat whenever it decides it wants to, because let’s face it, your not in control whatsoever, it’s controlling you. So analize your situation and take action for the better of you. And practice with small goals, 3 days, than go for 5 and so on when you feel urge open this app and write on your journal or in the comments sections,. Nobody here is gonna make the decision for you, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and make the choose to change.

2 Likes

Postponing change is something that I believe we all do for a long time in our lives, the question is: Will you wait until when to look in the mirror and change your habits? The time is now, your life is passing by and each lost day will be missed later on …

Sorry, English is not my original language

3 Likes