Anyone struggle with insecurity and self doubt during sex on their road to recovery? I’ve been struggling with PIED for awhile. I’m 52, and I’ve been doing this since I was a teen. Unfortunately, I only discovered that porn could be an addiction a few years ago, and I have been working to overcome it since then. At one point, I made it close to 45 days porn free. I thought I was doing pretty well, but when I had sex, my mind panicked. I felt like things weren’t happening, and I resorted to fantasies to get aroused and ejaculate. And then, of course after that, I felt like crap, beat myself up, and ended up binging. Since then, I can go 15 days, though more recently, its only about 7 without PMO. Still, when opprtunity arises, the same thing happens. It’s not often at all. I just want to be in the moment when the moment happens and let things happen. but I feel like I have been fighting this, struggling with this for so long, I don’t know how. It really gets into my head. Its been a looooong time since I have been able to have successful intercourse. Usually, oral is what I end up resorting too, and even that is a struggle.
I know the easy answer is to just wait longer before attempting sex, but I dont think that will really solve the problem. I think there are layers to this battle, overcoming the addiction itself and then regaining confidence to enjoy sex.
Any thoughts on how to get my confidence back? Just having some idea on how to overcome that would help me fight my addiction to get to that point.