I realize that it was an accident. Growing up in a hypersexualized world, it was nearly impossible to avoid the smallest detail: a kiss or a commercial on TV, a couple barely making out in public, bras and female underwear in clothes shops. That made me a very sexual boy wanting for sex with the hottest girl I met, even when I didn’t know what sex was. Ever since 5 or 6 years I had a strong sexual drive, and I would literally at a very young age day dream about nude women and foreplay with them. It didn’t matter if I dreamed about my teacher, a woman I saw on TV or whatever. Fast forward to when I discovered porn on satellite television, I was lusting for that imagery sex at the age of 8. I would wake up in 6 AM and turn on a channel called “Sexy Channel”. Our satellite receiver had lots of pornographic channels that took a lot of time to filter or erase with an ineffective system where the user would pick a channel one by one to erase them. Other times the receiver would exit the channel settings for no reason, so that made erasing time consuming. And sometimes the receiver would glitch and you’ll have to re-initiate it to factory settings and search for new channels, which of course include pornographic channels. Anyway, at the age of 8-10, Norwegian boys get all horny and start to mimic what they see for themselves on television or computers. Back then there was barely any high speed internet and most of my friends parents were so lazy in their parenting to filter adult content on TV, while other kids would snoop around the parents bedroom and find that questionable DVD or magazine. Every day at school I meet my classmates and we would talk about sexual intercourse with girls of our age and naked women as if we were experts, other times would behave all sexual in front of girls. A funny episode I remember from that time was when we put a finger trough our pants zipper and walk around in from of girls back and forth as we were hard for them.
I would steal my sisters dolls and make out with each our own. I would watch porn on the computer when I am home alone, or when my parents take a nap and my sisters are playing outside. I remember the excitement as if it was yesterday.
Fast forward to my teens, because I grew up with religious parents and still in a hypersexualized world, I was horny AF despite being in puberty. I had to surpress my sexual drive for some time. Once I realized I could not have sex like my old friends, I let that emotion accumulate which led me to excessive masturbation on porn. I was once a horny devil when I was a kid. Instead of going after women, I chose to be sexual with porn. I never knew porn and masturbation was the leading cause for every problems in my past. I never got girls to like me. I always was the one having a crush on them. The more I caused trouble, the more it backfired on me because of my addiction until I found the rewire companion app and the NoFap subreddit. I tried so hard to stop and I had good streaks. But now it seems nearly impossible to achieve that highest streak I had two and a half years ago.
Read easy peasy hack book . It will help you
Slow and steady Dean , if you spent so much time then it will definitely take good amount of time to get away from it.
You are doing good. Keep at it !!
Its ok bruh don’t worry I am too adict of fap i started it when I was 14 years old and now I am 21 I am totally addicted to it and my life is shit now my longest streak is 18 days but my goal is 1000 days are u with me on this journey my code is j72kiv
Be my companion so we can fight from it
Hell yeah! I’m down! I’ll add you
Brother, I am from India, nearly the same age as you, and it surprises me how much common experiences do we have despite living so far away and coming from completely different cultures. Except for making out with my sister’s doll, I probably did everything that you have mentioned here and even more. Around April-May, 2019, I had my longest recorded streak yet, I joined here in Nov 2020, and I did have 2 good streaks of around 35 days each. Tbh, just like you, I also feel that I might not be able to get back to my best streak and beat it again. But, you know what people like us should do? We should try. Every day that we don’t do it, is a win. Forget about the streak, they’ll come and go. Just focus on yourself and try again. You can do this. You are not a loser just because you failed last time, you’re a fighter coz you’re still fighting.
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