I need to overcome an obsession

Hello everyone, I am obsessed with a girl but this is totally unrequited love story…I am not able to concentrate over my work…I always think about her.
Further, that girl is suffering from depression too and I want to help her and be with her but the thing is I can’t…she loves someone else.
But I love her …so what should I do


You must show your attraction and care for her firstly,so that she can know you care for her.try to tell her that you care then rest will automatically occur I think

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I know the feeling of constantly thinking about someone out of love for them. I know you would want to help her and I am sorry this is gonna sound a bit cruel, but if she loves someone else, will it help her? If she is in a relationship, she needs suport from her partner most. Ofcourse you can tell her that you care for her and you would like to help her, but if she does not accept you, than this means you have to let her go. I know it is hard and painfull. You will remember her for years if you love her.
If you want to stop thinking about her, firstly distance yourself from her physicaly and stop messaging her as well. You need space, and if she consider you a friend, she should understand it. And then go meet new people, and start to care for them, so she would not be the only one you think about, and without seeing her, it will fade away with time. Don’t be sad, I am sure there is a girl out there that will care for you as much as you do if you look for her. :wink:


Hey thanks, but she is also my good friend and I can’t keep distance from her…by distance means messaging and all.
She is like miles away from me…and we usually talk every day.
So if I even want to remove this obsession, by not talking, I can’t.
Still thanks for your word!!!

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Let’s see how this all will change and now, I have decided to just control myself, and just wait.

Brother, if she is loving someone else focus on your life. Don’t waste time chasing her. Don’t feel sad when I say this, but this is the truth : “There is plenty of fish in the sea”. If you are addicted to porn get out of it. Work on your self. Go to gym. Become successful in your field. At the end she will see this and will come back to you. Unleash the inner beast. Bring out the greatness within you.


What is your age @Barry0810 ??

What you have to do with my age bro?

Hey brother thanks for your suggestion, no I am not addicted to porn and I do gym too :sweat_smile:.

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Bro, i just wanted to help you. Anyway. Take care.

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Hi, I’m a girl.
Tell her. It’s gonna be complicated, but at least you will know.

And @Feenax is right, you have to reduce communication if you want to stop thinking about her.

Good luck

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Hey bro, sorry if I sound rude.
Thanks for your concern. I am 23 years old btw.


Hey thanks,
I’ll try my best!
Thanks for your suggestion.

I want everyone to read this because it might change someone’s life. Dont ignore this comment because its too long

No problem brother.
I asked you your age because i had a same situation once in my life

Let me tell you a story.
5 years ago, i had a huge crush on a girl. I used to do anything that could make her happy. I fought for her whenever needed. I protected her from going out of track. I was always there whenever she needed my help. I used to take care of her like a baby who causes havoc in the house. She was everything for me (that’s what i thought about her).

But after a year i came to know she loved a guy from our class. Trust me, he was that kind of guy who used to bully everyone around him but later everyone came to know that they both were having a good time with their talks and chats. At that same time i used to chat with her too. I knew this that she was chatting with both of us. But she didn’t knew that from the last 2 years i was loving her secretly.

After 2 years i finally realised that i had messed up my life because of this. For last 2 years i didn’t studied upto the mark. And the result, i missed my shot at the best colleges in the country. I couldn’t hold it up anymore. So i went to her and confessed everything. She didn’t even bothered to understand my feelings brother. She didn’t even thought about the care i took for her. She didn’t even cared about the pampering i did for her. All those self sacrifices i made for her, she didn’t even thought about it and said our relationship was not possible.
I felt shattered completely. I couldn’t believe what was happening. All those things that I did for her were counted to zero. Nothing mattered. I hope you can understand me. (God damn, i got tears im my eyes even now while writing)
What all i lost:- my friends whom i didn’t listened to for her, almost ruined my career, fcked up my life, self esteem.

Next 1 year (3years now) i tried moving up but i couldn’t. This was the year when we joined our higher colleges.(we were not in the same college now) I decided that this year i will study hard and pass the year’s final exams and I’ll prove myself that i can stand on my feet and i have a future. Doing all this i thought she would believe in me and my future and would accept me. So i asked her out again. But you can’t believe brother, she laughed at me. Man. I got broke. I threw every thing aside and decided that i was done with this girl. And so i finally moved on. (Finally after 3 years of Crush)

This 1 year i realised i have my own life because instead of making her happy, i was working hard to prove my worth to myself, to make myself happy, to make my parents happy. That’s when i realised we need to work for ourselves. We need to set our lives on track so that all those things that God has written for us will then happen accordingly in our life and the right person will eventually come in our life.

1 more year passed, and finally a girl joined my college. I saw her on the very first day of her college life. I didn’t rush out to talk to her. And after 3 months (of her joining the college) we talked for the first time. And after one day we got into relationship.
(Remember brother, when its the right time, everything will go by your side.)

And today its been 1 year 3 months of our healthy and happy relationship. Instead of wasting time on romantic talks, she motivates me to study hard now so that we can enjoy life later or in the holidays (so that we dont regret that ee didn’t study when needed, which may spoil relationship) i topped in my class during that year. My parents and my girl were the happiest person to see that. She even supports my NoFap. Our zodiac signs and our behaviour and lifestyles are completely opposite. But we love each other because i think this was the moment God wrote for me. We are damn happy with out lives. We even have a good future as we both are from same study field.

Moral :- i just want to say brother, if it is really worth it then ask her out. If she really care she would understand your feelings unlike in my case. Otherwise move on with life. Donot waste your life(like i did) if the investment is not going to help you. And there is always a girl specially made for you. Wait for the right time. Till that time try improving yourself. When it is the right time, every will go by your side.


Sad but true but I think alot of guys have a story similar where we loved a female friend…but she just doesn’t feel the same and we waste alot of time and energy on this female… I did it too for 3 yrs!! 3 effin yrs. I would take her out to eat. . Movies… drinks… I told her I liked her. But she starts seeing someone and literally stops talking to me completely. Like everyone says not to be harsh but move on. You will only realize you have wasted time


Powerful post mate. Thanks for sharing

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Hey man, thanks for the suggestion.This is really motivating.


Powerful post @strongwillpower
It brought up loads of memories, and I started writing a long post,… but I want to get straight to one point, when God is brought into these matters, things change for the better.
Thanks be to God :pray:

When you Love it is a verb - not a noun
If there’s anything worthy striving for, it is loving like God.

Love God above all things,
And allow him to do the rest. Amen