I need help. or else. i don't care anymore

Confession
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i just can’t, i failed too many times. i take all the good habit. i did go to gym, and yes i’m getting bigger than before. i’m more active than before. i became more discipline. but why this urge won’t go?. i keep doing it. i want to rest from internet for a moment but i can’t. internet is my job. i’m a proggramer.

i take all the advice from people.

still… it don’t make me feel any better. i’m feeling happy only when exercising.

i feel like i’m not changing at all. do i lost my progress if i somehow relapse accidentaly?. i’m just blaming my self at this moment.

getting out from this. feels like eternity for me. i just falling again and again to this bottomless pit of SHIT.

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It can get reduced and we will have control over it but it will never completely go unless you live a life like the monks that’s the cold truth.

You can only grow strong enough that these urges become weak ah in front of your strength.

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Even if you quit for 1 year, you will still be human hence the sexual desires and urges will be present . But your control will have increased that those urges won’t bother you.

The goal is not to quit pmo at once and never relapse again. The goal is to keep trying again and again , slowly increasing your control and ability to handle urges. Relapses teach you reasons of relapse form which you learn. When you relapse , forgive yourself and start again without chaser effect. Try again and again and again no matter how many times you fail. And failures don’t erase our progress completely. With time we are more aware of ourselves , our weaknesses and strengths.

Recovery is not a linear process. It takes ups and downs to recover .

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Stop using streak as a measure of your progress. Instead use spreadsheet. Your goal should be to have clean days 90% of the time. Every 10 days , you need at least 9 clean days.

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If the gap between relapses increase, it’s a win.

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Also, just observe the urge. Don’t react. Let it pass. Don’t think why it came. It’s okay. It will take about 15 to 30 minutes and the power of urge will disappear. Surf the urge.

One day you will be thinking back smiling that you never gave up.

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Every mf who completed 90+ days atleast once in life will relate.

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Now… The simple truth is this urge won’t ever go away.

What matters is how you deal with it… I have experienced lots of failures in this regard and it’s still painful.

But I have made a huge progress in this regard and now I can be pretty sure it won’t get in my way or I can already see a way out of it.

For me personally… I just want to quit ■■■■ and be on semen retention.

But I also want to be perform well sexually… I found a way out for myself…

Anyways for your case… I am guessing your problem is the thinking and how just thoughts won’t go away.

So I have a method for it.

What I have done here is that I have anchored the whole of the thoughts and the actions I took to a place… That is my washroom.

So now whenever I have those thoughts, a picture of my washroom pops up in my head and as you can imagine it’s not very arousing.

Now… The problem is at night.

Because while It can tackle the problem most of the time but at night when you have a lots of time to think… It’s an issue.

So usually when It happens to me i read something and start thinking about it and when my mind feels exhausted I go to sleep.

If you are interested in the details regarding anchoring method… You can comment on any of the posts, I will tell you about it

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