I know that every relapse makes my brain weaker and more addicted. Every time I relapse I hesitate in future success. I start to believe that I’ll never get a girlfriend in my life, and life will always be boring. I was left out from university and restored again, but I feel like I’m gonna fail again. I’m 22 and I pmoed 4000 times in my life. I pmoed so much this year that I wonder why am I alive yet.
What if it’s too late?
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22 years old. Definitely not too late.
If you want a girlfriend, you should have an interesting life!
It’s not because you will have a girlfriend that you’ll no longer have a boring life.
Everything starts with you and finish with you.
You PMO because your life is boring.
It sounds obviously that you should work on having an AWESOME LIFE!
Be strong bro!
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Basically what @FlowForCourage said and also, your life is boring because you PMO. It’s a shitty cycle.
Focus on improving yourself and get rid of this PMO habit/addiction or whatever you call it. You’ll get to know so many women throughout your life but if you focus only on meeting the “one”… then you are wasting your time. Instead, just meet people. No pressure. Be approachable and confident, happy with yourself.
Take care.
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No brothers. It’s not about “I want a girlfriend”. It’s about I want the life to be interesting. The problem is whatever I do I’m not being able to get at least 8 days. My highest this year is 12 days and 22 days previous two years.
To be fair, I hate being attracted to a girl. I don’t like this attraction -> relationship -> new life mechanism.
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Actually I don’t really understand what does improving myself means.
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You must watch this and don’t be so pessimistic, life is hard man I get it but you should think and reflect about your life more and take responsibility for yourself, you have to otherwise you end up being bitter and resentful. Watching JP’s videos helped me a ton and I recommend to watch his lectures, very insightful and inspirational. Good luck man.
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Hey @Vardan51878
Self-improvement has many different ways to be practiced and it depends on you. Doing NoFap, is one way of improving yourself. Let’s say you have been using PMO to cope/numb your feelings, then improving yourself would be stop doing PMO and take ownership over your life instead.
I would recommend listening to this free Steve Chandler podcast episode about “owner vs victim” thinking:
Victim thinking stops self improvement and hinders you in moving forward in life. I would say it’s a very basic thing to be fixed in order to aim for self-improvement. Maybe you can listen to the episode and think about the situations were you have been practicising victim thinking in your life as opposed to owner thinking. Start fixing those areas.
After that, there are more things that could be interesting to you. I would recommend looking a bit into the virtues of stoicism (wisdom, temperance, courage, justice), quite relevant in our NoFap context, if you ask me.
Take care
Yea you put it better I got what the other dude was saying just the way he said it but ik he ment good
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Hey there @Vardan51878 ,
Look life is what is what you decide it to be.
It is not pmo, it is not your shit boss, not your depression, not your gym being expesive.
It is YOU. If you are bored and feel shit that is on you. You can’t blame pmo or anything else you must blame yourself. As you choose to pmo and because thereof get the negatives thereof.
You choose not to get a girlfriend, because you blame pmo as it makes you desensitized to get the girl, but nope not that you aren’t putting effort into beating pmo or chasing the girl. Always dreaming, hoping and thinking, but never doing it as it is nearly impossible to achieve the dreams as something always gets in the way and that is the easy escape route instead of you using that obstical to test yourself and truely work towards that goal or dream.
Get away from your fears of falling rather believe in yourself. Ask your god to help you, heal your thoughts with positive thinking, importantly remember that you hold this responsibility of fighting for pmo in your hands and no one else is to blame for failing. If you fail stand up even stronger push yourself into fighting more and change your rules or ideas towards the problem.
From A to B might look like a straight line, but there is maybe steep mountains to climb or thorns in the road or sharp stones. If those do come be prepared! Get your shoes on and squash those thorns and stones. Is there a mountain? Well rethink it go around the mountain or if you must pack your hiking gear on your climb and keep on climbing till you reach the otherside.
One always doubts and underestimate oneself, but by overcoming ones obsticals one truely learn the meaning of being strong and the capabilities of oneself!
Always keep your eyes on the prize don’t be cocky aswell, as this creates even worse pitfalls and traps for oneself. Confidence is good but overconfidence blinds oneself!
Thing like this might happen for example:
“Oh porn it doesn’t really bother me… Maybe I should just have a peek to see if I truely beaten it.”
In this case well porn will win again.
Set yourself up for victory. Like mentioned put on your shoes or grab your gear or walk around that mountain.
If you go to bed with your phone . This is a big mistake mostly it will lead to a relapse( no preparation) . Rather incorporate a rule like no phones or electronic devices after 8 pm. Period no execption( prepared not to relapse) .
Fapping in the bathroom? Well easy. No devices allowed there, rethink what you are going to do pee or poo ( do that and only that). Read a book if option no. 2 is the thing your gonna do and get out as soon as you are done.
Small changes you can apply to beat it.
The important thing is to solve this problems on your own as it the most effective method. I can’t tell you to do push-ups when you feel the urge and you hate doing push-ups. Or to exercise using Youtube at the comfort of your home( and you don’t schedule time to workout or to do whatever).
You got to do what works for you as my method might not work for you. We like different stuff, live differently ( culturally, spiritually) and we have different situations( problems and environments) so the best you can do is to live your life as you envisioned it and that is through the decisions you make, the planning and discipline!!
Good luck and stay strong and awesome!
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Thank you so much you wrote me brothers. I have no real friends for this topic.
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No, This is not the Truth.
No one has ever died because of PMO. I am not supporting pmo by this, just telling you the truth.
No, it’s not. Just few days ago, i read a good post by a 50 year old man who just was on 22 days streak and he was determined like a 500 days streak man and he was celebrating his new life.
I am not telling you that you should postpone your success.
I am just telling you that it is possible right now.
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Get a goal. Make it your mission. Unless you don’t have any purpose life will not be interesting.