I just needed to talk

Actually I don’t really know what I want to say but what I know is that I need to talk
Forgive me my bad english
I’m 19 years old
I started watching porn since the age of 14 …out of Curiosity …my dad used to watch porn and I know it by accident when I was playing on computer ,when I found this videos I delete it immediately without thinking I was disgusted when I watched this stuff … I was a really innocent kid
But one day I needed to know what is inside this videos and I watched it for a couple of minutes before deleting it and gradually I started to search for that videos myself but not for deleting it …I wanted to see more (out of curiosity)
The funniest thing about that time
Is that my dad didn’t stop watching porn or even think to hide this videos from his child :no_mouth:
Before watching porn I used to be very successful ,the most superior and the smartest boy in my class(teachers used to say it to me) :expressionless:
Also they predited me with a bright future
I don’t know when it happened exactly but all things changed because of porn
When I was 16 I found that I can’t get rid from it myself ,I need help so I decided to tell my father about my addiction …but he didn’t do anything "go to church and tell the priest " that was all what he said :smile:
I told my mother but unfortunately she couldn’t do anything
I don’t blame her…she is the greatest woman i’ve ever met …but she isn’t well educated and didn’t know what to do .
I really feel depressed from the result and regret telling my father about my struggle
When I found that I’ve to fight this addiction without any exterior help I decided to do my best to quit
But sometimes even the best we have isn’t enough .
After five years of watching porn and masturbation I really feel that I lost the best period in my life in vain
Also I missed a lot of opportunities …some of them will never came again
Now i’m on my last year at the secondary school and if I don’t get high marks I won’t be able to study engineering
And probably won’t be able to mary the girl whom I loved since our childhood
The problem is there is only 5 days now before I start the exams
And I feel with nothing
I’m really tired and depressed
And unfortunately I am not brave enough to talk with any other person about my addiction
I wrote this things now because I wanted to talk with anyone
I feel more relax now

Hang in there, you will beat this addiction
Stay involved in the forums

2 Likes

Brother would you like to join the WhatsApp group ? It’s a very active one

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Can you share the link here?

Yes, here https://chat.whatsapp.com/CNnaQRmn8or1Hh0HVtl7VU

Web page not available

The web page at whatsapp://chat?code=CNnaQRmn8or1Hh0HVtl7VU could not be loaded because:

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What’s your country’s code? I will ask the admin to add you by number

+91
Current country code

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I was talking to john, you haven’t given me your number yet, you can send privately @Globl12345

My country code is 20