I just did not want it bad enough

Hi guys

I would like to aplogize to all my accountability partners because I fapped twice yesterday and once again today. I have. Een using the open Google Images as an excuse to not exercise my willpower and then try to block Google images. The truth is that I need to be on my laptop for a significant amount of time during the day becaue of work and I cannot escape triggering material on my laptop.

The bigger streaks I have had in the past came because I made it a point to not stay inside home for most of the day. Even for studying Inwould go to the study room.

This not being an option now, I had to resort to blocking everything. But the truth is that these can be easily bypassed when you have the urges and I have been trying to find the right way to use my computer which was essentially blocking everything. I do not use whatsapp, instagram, Facebook and YouTube anymore because I don’t think I can resist watching the bad stuff when alone at home.

This time is especially harder because I have to figure out new ways of dealing with myself. I know thatWim Hof breathing works like magic to transmute the urges.

But still when I have those urges it is too easy not to look.

The first option of staying outside all the time now working anymore, and not prwctical I have to now use the second option that worked and was really painful.

And that is to create a sense of heightened urgency. The idea of going back to porn was just too painful for me because I was a virgin. And I made it a point to only have sex with a real girl and if I do not stop nowI would die single.
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I had a very heightened sense of urgency and strong desire to be a better man. A part of the desire also came from the retained semen. But majority of it was driven by pain because I was also socially anxious and was afraid to talk to girls.

But I pushed myself at that time to approach women randomly and did some comfort zone challenges to nfinally be free from the social problems.

And to my surprise I find myself fapping again now.

I do not have that deep pain pushing me to resist that really strong urge.

I guess I need to now redefine the approach. I do not want to feel pain for no reason. So I won’t go back. But I also know that if I don’t fap I can be someone. Like really someone. I mean capable of doing shit.

I have goals. And now I think I have to focus on my goals obsessively to the point that I have no time to think about pmo. I need to develop a sense of urgency towards my goals.

That’s it. The second point is the key. The sense of urgency to achieve personal goals is the key.

I want to know your opinion about this. And tips on how to never fap again !!! Ever !!

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My brother. I know what you are going through. Most of us have gone through what you are experiencing now too. Remember you are not alone. We are with you. Iam with you. I believe you can do this. I know you are a man of great dreams and unlimited potential. The first and foremost thing is take responsibility of your life my brother. Every second, every thought that you are wasting on porn is never going to come back. I don’t want you to get back to the end knowing that you could have been, had and done so much more. I don’t what you or anyone of us including me to have that regret. Because we are born from God. We have the ability to do anything with this life. Just believe in your ability. Focus on your purpose. Give your complete energy and thought in becoming the best version of yourself and achieving your goals. When urges come SUFFER my brother. Cry if you want. Throw and brake a glass. Meditate everyday. Exercise. Because this your life. I want you to become great. Start now. Decide and do it. Never wait. Life is too short to make the same mistake again and again my brother. Remember that always​:+1::+1:

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Thanks man. Yes life is too short to make the same mistake again and again. That’s so true.